


Broken into Pieces

by smiles2go



Category: NCIS
Genre: Brainwashing, F/M, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Anguish, Non-Consensual, Rescue, Slavery, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 13:05:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 47,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smiles2go/pseuds/smiles2go
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a remix of the fic Broken, first published first on FF and then here, but now removed.  Prologue is the same, everything else has been shaken up and changed. </p><p>Someday I hope to finish writing and rewriting ‘slave’ Tony … or not.  Already have another bunny – Unbroken. It never ends.</p><p>Disclaimer:  of course I don’t own them, if I did I wouldn’t have to do this to Tony or Gibbs.  Or would I?  hmmmm</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Slavery has come back into fashion in other countries which is why many of the rich and famous in America hold dual citizenships—to avoid prosecution. Teens are the usual target, adults very rare. Runaways have all but disappeared. Families reduced to living on the street have been approached to sell their children. Many have done so out of desperation. 
> 
> Taken by slavers, Tony is tortured until he breaks, then brainwashed and trained until he learns to please anyone anytime. When he’s recovered, Gibbs despairs of ever getting back Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

*|*

It was late on a muggy Tuesday afternoon and everyone was hot, tired and short-tempered. They’d been in the field all day, collecting evidence in 90 plus degrees, Gibbs riding them hard, snapping at everyone for the least little thing. A child’s partially decomposed body had been uncovered with all the flooding, bits and pieces of bone scattered in the muck. Tony thought it would be a good time for a practical joke, give everyone a laugh and break the tension. Only something went wrong and the joke backfired, caught Gibbs instead of McGee, the intended target. Instead of laughing, he swore and called Tony a fuckup. If only he’d dropped it there things might have been ok, but like everyone else he was at the end of his rope and he reamed Tony out in front of everyone in the bullpen. Tony’s face closed off, his eyes fell, he grabbed his pack and left, Gibbs voice demanding to know when he was going to grow up echoing after him as the elevator doors closed. 

Skipping dinner in favor of a run through Rock Creek Park, Tony wished for something to happen, someone to take his aggression out on, someone to pound into the ground, but no, not tonight. Chest heaving, he made it back to familiar streets and jogged slowly to cool down, but it wasn’t enough to block out the little recorder in his mind that played Gibbs rant over and over. The coffee shop caught his eye and Tony stopped for a late night latte, not caring if it kept him awake or not. Waiting patiently in line, he caught a whiff of something exotic and marvelous as the person in front of him turned to go with their drink. Smiling for the first time all day, Tony made a snap decision and told the girl at the counter he wanted the same thing. After all, if you keep doing the same things, you’re always going to get the same results, right? _Time to try something new,_ he nodded to himself. With a big smile, he grabbed the cup and headed home. Waiting to take the first sip till he was outside, Tony leaned against the railing and held the cup with both hands. Lifting the lid and closing his eyes to breathe in the aroma, he was unprepared for the needle in his neck and barely registered the arms that caught him on the way down or the drink that splashed and splattered on the sidewalk.


	2. Chapter 2

*|*

“Fed! Come here!” Even though the water distorted sound, Tony responded immediately. With a minimum of splashing, he turned and swam gracefully to the other end of the pool knowing the clear water hid nothing of his tanned body. He’d glimpsed two figures—it wasn’t often his Mistress showed him off, but it had happened before and wanted to make her proud.

Lifting himself easily, Tony was out of the water and kneeling before she could say another word. Head down, back ramrod straight, Tony blinked water out of his eyes and tracked two sets of feet walking around him. He knew he looked good with the water streaming off his golden skin.

“He’s older than I expected.” The unknown voice was derisive and Tony ducked his head impossibly lower. “Does he eat a lot? Is that why you call him ‘fed’?”

His Mistress laughed and he relaxed at the sound – she wasn’t angry with him. “No.” He heard the tinkling of ice in a glass. “They said he used to be a federal officer. I think it’s cute.” 

Two laughs and more tinkling. The feet walked toward the patio table. Tony remained frozen. “I was concerned about his age too at first, but he’s bigger and stronger and more intelligent than the boys I had before. There’s a huge difference between a man and a boy. I’ve grown quite fond of him. Besides, he can sit with me in restaurants without everyone thinking he’s my son.” She laughed again. “I’ll never buy another gangly teenager.”

“I see what you mean.” A chair scraped across the tile and the guest sat down, just out of range of Tony’s vision. “I want to see him move. Perform. Put him through his paces.”

“Of course.” His Mistress snapped her fingers and Tony quickly crawled across the dark slate, ignoring the scratches on his knees. Moving to kneel beside her, he kept his head down until he felt her long fingers in his hair, fingernails scratching lightly on his scalp. Pushing into her hand, he almost purred. “Tell him what you want him to do.” Removing her fingers, she smacked him lightly on the side of the head.

“Fairly graceful. I assume he hardens to an adequate size? How’s he in bed?” 

“Talented.” His Mistress let the smirk show in her voice. “Size is not a problem. Fed, stand up and show us what you’ve got.”

Rising smoothly to his feet, Tony closed his eyes and let his hands and imagination wander. This was always the hardest part for him. He had no problem pleasing anyone, but to be put on display and asked to perform … he had to concentrate very hard.

“Yes, that’s …acceptable.” Tony concentrated on his Mistress’s feet and tried to ignore everything else. She’d kicked off her sandals, tanned legs stretched out, crossed at the ankle, brightly painted toes pointing at him. He’d painted those toenails earlier, while she fed him grapes and chatted on the phone. Antique Desert Rose. She’d let him pick the color this time. “Hmmm. How is his control? And I have to ask, why the green plug?” He heard the tinkle of ice as one of them took a drink.

“It matches his eyes.” Tony stroked himself slowly, eyes slowly closing, drifting. He hadn’t been told to stop yet. “Fed, you are not allowed to cum.” He felt a soft hand graze his hip, sliding over his belly, nudging his own hand out of the way. “Open your eyes and look at me.” His Mistress’s hand closed around him tightly, stroking him slowly. “If you cum, I’ll whip you until you can’t stand up.” Tony knew it was bravado, she’d never whipped him, not once. Nevertheless, the muscles in his legs tensed and he forced his thoughts on something disgusting. 

Sweat rolled down his face, breath coming in pants, legs trembling and still she stroked, a slight smile on her face as she tested him. “Good boy.” Nearly ready to start begging silently, Tony gasped as silently as possible, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I’m satisfied.” His Mistress dropped her hand and Tony took a shivering breath, then another. “He’ll do.”

“I expect you’ll want to use him, before you leave.” The ankles uncrossed and she slipped the sandals back on.

“Won’t be necessary. He’s a gift for a friend.” Tony’s fists clenched on his knees as they stood and his Mistress poked him absently in the thigh with the toe of her sandal. “Do you have something he can wear in the car?” 

_She was selling him—had already sold him._ Tony’s heart broke in a thousand pieces, but he kept his face impassive as he rose to his feet and waited. Tears sprang to his eyes and he blinked them back. Going soft again wasn’t going to be a problem this time. He’d really started to like it here. He hadn’t displeased her so why was she selling him? Racking his brain for a reason, Tony missed her soft-spoken order.

“Please Mistress.” He whispered, daring to look up and meet her eyes without being told. “Please don’t send me away. How did I displease you? Please, let me—” Sinking to his knees without conscious thought, Tony pressed kisses on her brightly colored toes.

“Well, that’s not very reassuring.” Already hating that hard, clipped voice, Tony closed his eyes and whimpered. “Are you sure he’s fully trained? He doesn’t act like it. Maybe he was too old for the training to take properly.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m giving you a refund, so just stop complaining. You got a good bargain. He’s worth a lot more in the open market. I could probably get twice what you paid at auction… but I’m fond of Fed and I want him to be happy.” His Mistress laughed, sliding her fingers through his hair. “Your reputation precedes you. I know you’ll take care of him.”

“Mistress?” Tony pleaded looking up. “I’ll do better…anything. _Please.”_

“Awe. That’s so sweet. You have to learn not to get so attached.” She ran her hand down of his head and patted his cheek. “That’s enough. Be a good boy, let me get my collar off and you can run get your cutoffs for the ride to your new home. Oh and don’t forget to remove the plug.” Pulling the key from her pocket, she fumbled at the lock, long fingernails making her clumsy. “I expect you to behave. I don’t want to hear any complaints. You’re my favorite, you know.”

The lock opened and the collar fell away from his neck, taking his heart with it. She’d been the kindest, easiest to please owner he’d had so far. Never demanding, never whipping. He would miss her terribly. “Yes ma’am.” He said in a hollow voice.

“Come here boy.” His new owner demanded in a voice that brooked no argument. “Let me look at your face. Stand up straight. I thought you were a federal agent. If this is the kind of attitude you’re going to show me, you can expect a caning when we get home. I guess I’ll have to put some effort into training you before I can gift you.” Standing at attention, head held high, eyes closed, Tony shivered when cold fingers rand down his abs. “Well, you are pretty, even if you’re a bit on the old side, I’ll give you that. Get dressed. We have a flight to catch.” 

Tony shook his head miserably and went to get his cutoffs. Inside and out of sight, he stopped in front of a mirror and looked at his bare neck. There was a wide, untanned ring where his collar had been. Blinking back tears, he removed the plug and left it in the sink, let the damn assistant clean it. Pulling on the cutoffs, he went outside to face the future. Where he was headed didn’t sound like a happy place—at least not for him.

“Has he been allowed a Safeword?” Tony cringed at the disdain in the voice. It wasn’t common practice to let a slave have a Safeword, only the very pampered or spoiled rated so high. But his Mistress was gentle and loving, making him more of a pet than a drudge.

“Magnum.” Tony whispered.

“Isn’t that so cute?” The thought that he wouldn’t hear his Mistress’ sparkling laughter anymore made his breath catch. _Sold._ She had sold him. His mind was close to splintering—he couldn’t concentrate. “Tom was so flattered, we shared him in the back of the limo at the last awards ceremony.”

Nice doing business with you Ms. Pfeiffer.” The clipped voice didn’t bother to hide the desire to be gone. The pretense of relaxation was overridden by the need to hurry.

“Michelle, please. Bring him back to visit sometime. I have several parties in the summer. You’re always welcome to come.” His Mistress gushed. “Goodbye Fed. Be a good boy. I’ll miss you.” Tony hoped they never came back—he didn’t want to see anyone else with their hands on her. Looking back once, he gave her a half-hearted smile, but she had already turned away, talking into her cellphone. Holding everything inside made his chest burn with a tightness he couldn’t fight. He was going to miss her so much.

Without another word they walked toward the French doors where Maria waited to show them out. Lagging behind while Maria held the front door open, Tony mouthed a quick good-bye to her and smiled sadly at her huge, shocked eyes. She’d been nice to him, sitting with him so he wouldn’t be alone when his Mistress was out of town, teaching him the Spanish you never learned in school. She was the closest thing to a friend he was allowed to have and it hurt to leave that behind without knowing if he’d ever see her again.

“Goodbye Fed.” He nodded his head once in response to the soft whisper and then the door was closed. Blinking back furious tears, Tony swiped at his face not wanting them to see how weak he really was.

A dark town car, complete with driver standing by the back door waited by the curb and Tony was gestured into the front without a word. In the back he heard the sounds of a briefcase being opened and folders removed. It was mostly silent for the next hour while Tony stared morosely out of tinted windows.

He must have dozed off sometime because his head banged against the glass when the car stopped on the tarmac near a small jet. A quick glancing at the driver showed the disdainful curl of his lip and Tony looked away quickly.

“Quit dawdling. I’m in a hurry.” The driver jumped out of the car to open the backdoor but was too late. Tony hurried around the front of the car and straight up the steps into the small plane, hot tarmac burning his bare feet. He had a fleeting hope that his final destination was still America, but it didn’t much matter. Very little mattered anymore.

“Come here.” The plane was barely airborne, but Tony unsnapped the seatbelt from the seat he’d been pushed down into and crossed the aisle, kneeling expectantly. “Hands.” 

Holding both hands out, Tony watched as police issue handcuffs were locked on. Not tightly, but not enough give that he could slip out either. He had expected leather wrist cuffs, not metal handcuffs, but didn’t dare complain.

“Do you accept that you belong to me?” Tony nodded his head without rising. “And what I decide to do with you will be done without any complaint or attitude?” Tony nodded again, getting a bad feeling. He’d heard of disobedient slaves being sold and never heard from again—cut up and their organs sold on the black market.

“Look at me and say it.”

Tony lifted his head and met calm brown eyes. “I belong to you.” Tony took a deep breath. “And I will do whatever you tell me to. Willingly, without question.”

“Okay, you can come out now.” 

The bathroom door slammed open and a man stepped out. “DiNutzo! Surprise kid, the cavalry’s here.” 

*|*


	3. Chapter 3

*|*

Gibbs rolled over and slammed the alarm clock seconds before the alarm sounded. He rarely had to listen to the ungodly shrieking noise anymore. Sitting up with a groan he looked out the window and rubbed at his face. _651 days._ DiNozzo, the first thought of every morning. He wouldn’t forget or lose track. He _would_ find him and bring him home – he wasn’t dead, no matter what the Director said. He _wasn’t._

Before he managed to get both feet on the floor, his phone started vibrating across the nightstand. He stared at it balefully before picking it up with a terse “Gibbs”. _Please not another case already._

They’d finished a bad one late last night so he’d given the team the day off. But no one else would call this early; no one was stupid enough to wake Gibbs up on a day off after a hard case.

“It’s Fornell.” Well apparently there was one person…

“Look Fornell, whatever it is—”

“We got your boy.” Fornell’s voice was a mix of smug and excited, nothing like his normal taciturn self.

Gibbs breathed in sharply. He wouldn’t sound this happy if DiNozzo was dead. It was over.

“Did you hear me Gibbs? I said we got your—”

“I heard you.” Gibbs rolled out of bed and looked around for his jeans, forgetting he’d draped them over the back of the chair in the corner, like he did every night. “Where is he? Is he all right? What happened? Why—”

“Calm down. He’s … alive.” There was some question in his tone. “Relatively unhurt. He’s in New York.”

“We need to get him back. I can get a flight out this morning… wait, better yet I’ll drive up. Where in New York?” Gibbs stumbled around trying to get his pants on one-handed, almost dropping the phone. He’d have to call Abby, let her tell the others. They’d all want to go.

“Shut up and listen for a moment.” Fornell huffed. “You can’t just run up there and pick him up and bring him back. He’s…” Fornell sighed into the phone. “He’s … _damaged_. He’s been tortured and brainwashed and I don’t know what else. Look Gibbs, I don’t wanna talk about this over the phone. Meet me at the Starbucks on Madison.”

“No! Fornell just tell me where the hell he is. You can say whatever you want on the way to New York.” Gibbs wedged the phone under his ear and jerked a shirt off the hanger. Socks… socks… where the hell were his socks!

“Look, Jethro…” Gibbs could hear him searching for words, the right words. “DiNutzo can’t… DiNutzo’s not…”

“Is he in a hospital? How bad was he tortured?” Gibbs’s knees gave out at the pictures flashing through his mind and he sat down heavily on the end of the bed. “Is he going to be all right?”

“I’ll explain everything when you get to Starbucks.” Fornell said rapidly and hung up the phone.

Gibbs gaped at his phone in surprise. _sonofabitch!_

Resisting the urge to throw the phone at the wall, he threw it on the bed instead and jerked his clothes on. Shaving could wait but probably not toothpaste. After all, there apparently wasn’t any rush to get to New York.

He called Abby from the truck, giving her the short version and had to hold the phone away when she squealed in joy. Promising to call the others and meet him at the coffee shop, she hung up quickly. Breaking only a few speed limits, it was a weekday after all—there were a few school zones to get through. He knew Fornell didn’t live far from Madison. Probably stopped there every morning.

651 Days. Gibbs said a quick prayer of thanks and rubbed at his chin. He hated stubble, it started itching way too soon. He’d have to go home and shave before they started for New York and they damn well were going to New York no matter what Fornell said.

_Tortured._ Closing his eyes briefly, Gibbs fought to keep the images of every torture victim, every torture technique out of his head and failed. Happy go lucky DiNozzo, in the hands of scumbags for 651 fucking days. There was no telling what shape he’d be in now. What the hell could he be tortured for? He wouldn’t talk—NCIS was all he knew. Well that and maybe some old police cases from his Baltimore days, but that was so long ago. 

Thinking furiously, Gibbs almost missed the turn into the parking lot and had to swerve the truck in front of a blue buick in the other lane, squealing the tires loudly. Gibbs pulled into the first space he came to, jumped out and looked around for Fornell’s car. There. He was almost at the door when Abby’s hearse came rumbling into the parking lot. Throwing up a hand at her, he went in and looked around before spotting Fornell in a back corner booth. 

Abby barreled through the door and almost into him. “Where is he? How is he? When can we see him?” She spoke it all as one word without taking a breath. Gibbs grabbed her arms and shook her lightly. People were starting to turn and stare.

“I don’t know. Get something to drink and we’ll ask Fornell.” Actually they would grill Fornell until he gave them every detail including DiNozzo’s location. Abby’s quick grin of understanding agreed with him.

Ignoring everyone else, Gibbs made a beeline for Fornell’s booth. A tall cup sat opposite him and Gibbs grunted in thanks.

“Where is he?” He asked before motioning Abby in first. Fornell rolled his eyes while she slid across, practically bouncing. 

“I suppose we might as well wait until the whole gang’s here.” He groused. “I’m not repeating all this a dozen times.”

“Give me an address, that’s all we need.” Gibbs slid in next to Abby as McGee and Ziva came rushing in. He motioned them to the table beside the booth and glared at Fornell.

“It’s not all I’ve got to say.” Fornell took a sip of his coffee and pushed the file across the table. Gibbs reached for it, casually slapping Abby’s hand away without taking his eyes from Fornell. “The kid…” Fornell shook his head. “DeNuttso wasn’t my favorite, but no one deserves this.”

Heavy hand on top of the file, Gibbs took a tentative sip of his coffee. Ah. Fornell could be trusted for some things. “What happened?”

“It’s all in the file.” Fornell took another sip of coffee and rolled his shoulders under Gibbs steady glare. “Fine. DeNuttso—” 

“DiNozzo.” Gibbs growled through clenched teeth, pushing down on the file as Abby tried to wiggle it out from under his hand. “His name is DiNozzo. Use it.” Fornell held up both hands in surrender.

“Whatever.” He looked Gibbs in the eye and then ducked his head. “Your boy was taken by the Black Circle—”

“Slavers!” Ziva hissed, coming half out of her chair. McGee looked at her in confusion before turning to Fornell. “It cannot be true! Not Tony. He is too old!”

“Slavers?” Gibbs repeated in a tight voice. “There must be a mistake. They only take kids.” 

Abby grabbed onto his arm with both hands and started whining under her breath, forehead pressed against his shoulder.

“Usually.” Fornell grimaced. “They usually take young teens, kids they can train easily and eventually forget they had any other life.”

“Then why take Tony?” McGee asked, still clearly confused. “He’s not…” He trailed off flushing hotly when they all looked at him. “Well—you all know what he’s like.”

“Someone placed a special order.” Ziva speculated, nodding to herself. “Someone willing to pay enough to kidnap a grown man – _a federal agent –_ and do whatever it took to break him.” A small smirk played at her lips and Gibbs knew she was thinking _she_ would never break, she’d kill them all, _she’d_ escape… turning back to Fornell thinking he’d already wasted too much time on the former Mossad officer. “When I put together his dossier for Ari… “ Ziva blinked as four pair of eyes focused on her in varying degrees of outrage. Lifting her chin, she calmly held Gibbs’ gaze. “He is a man-slut, yes? They would not need to use much torture… he would be able to get through training without much…” She snapped her mouth closed when Gibbs growled and held Abby back when she tried to climb over him to get to Ziva. “He has had undercover training, yes?”

“You don’t know a thing about Tony if that’s what you think!” Abby screeched, fighting Gibbs. “Tell her Bossman. Tell her Tony isn’t … isn’t a…a … what she said!”

“Can we get back on topic?” Fornell interrupted tiredly. “I have to meet with my Director in an hour and I haven’t even been home yet.” Taking a sip of coffee, he looked up to see all eyes on him. “Ms. David, if you think all DiNuttso had to do was have sex, You don’t know as much about slaves as you think you do. He’s been… he’s not…” Fornell stopped, shaking his head.

“What did they do to our Tony?” Abby wailed immediately forgetting about Ziva and Gibbs hushed her absently. Fornell glanced around to see how much attention they were garnering and shook his head. “Who would do that? Tony … Tony wouldn’t….” Large tears rolled down her face.

“We don’t know who put in the original … request. Yet.” Fornell sipped at his coffee. “He’s been … conditioned—”

“All this time I feared he was dead, hastily buried in an unknown grave…” Ziva shook her head dazedly. “… and all this time he’s been laying around, some rich woman’s plaything. “ She snorted and ignored Gibbs’ glare. “All this time I worried, he was having the time of his life. Well … after the training.” 

“Ziva, head back to NCIS.” Gibbs voice brooked no argument but she defied him, lifting her chin higher. “Dig out some cold cases to work on.”

“They would use drugs, marking the merchandise beyond the circle tattoos would lower the price.” Ziva ignored Gibbs. “Working his psychological weaknesses, would have required some serious brain cleaning as well.”

“Brain washing.” Four voices chimed in exchanging horrified looks.

“Yes, and a nightmare concoction of drugs to make it stick. We think the favored form of _persuasion_ was multiple taser shots to the head, though I’m not ruling out anything else.” Fornell gestured at the file. “Too many taser shots aren’t good for anybody, even with someone with a thick skull like DiNut…DiNozzo.” Fornell rubbed his eyes with one hand, he knew this wouldn’t be easy. What if it’d been one of his men? Shaking his head tiredly, he reached for his cooled coffee.

“Indeed, I should say not.” No one had noticed Ducky walking up the aisle between booths and tables. “Pardon me.” He apologized and pulled out a chair beside McGee and sat down heavily. “I seem to have arrived in time for the main event.”

“They tortured our Tony.” Abby leaned across Gibbs and blinked at Ducky, black make-up starting to run down her face with tears.

“Ziva!” Gibbs waited until she looked at him. “Head back to NCIS. Now.” He held her gaze until she got up and left with a final sneer over her shoulder. Gibbs watched her go through the door before nodding at Ducky.

“But it’s over now my dear.” Ducky answered pulling a napkin out of a holder and holding it out toward Abby. “It is over now, right Agent Fornell? Did I hear you mention the Black Circle?” Ducky focused his steady gaze on Fornell who shrugged one shoulder. “Oh dear. But you’re certain Anthony is safe?”

“All I can tell you is what the Doc put in the report.” Fornell nodded at the file under Gibbs hand again. “I understand he made a formal statement to the Doc, but I haven’t seen it yet. It has to be transcribed off the tape.”

“Doc?” Ducky beat Gibbs to the question. “That would be…”

“Dr. Winters. Alex Winters.” Fornell answered staring at Gibbs over the top of his coffee.

Gibbs looked at Ducky who shook his head after a moment. “Doesn’t ring a bell.” Gibbs nodded certain that if Ducky hadn’t heard of this doctor, he was nobody important. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Dr. Winters is a … specialist. Trauma victims from this kind of abuse. Partners with the FBI on slave recovery operations.” Fornell tapped a finger on the file. “It usually takes 4-6 months of intense therapy before they’re ready to rejoin society or go home. Of course…” He paused to make sure he had Gibb’s attention. “Teens are easier to work worth than say an adult. DiNozzo … they had to break him in the first place to … to…sell him.” Fornell broke off and closed his eyes. “And then many of the families – well some of the kids don’t have the best home life to start with.” Fornell closed his eyes and thought of Emily. “Many times it’s the parents who sell the kid to the slavers to start with.”

“Wait.” Gibbs stared hard at Fornell. “I thought he was taken for some _special order.”_ Gibbs lifted both hands to make quote marks in the air. “Are you saying he’s been resold already?” Abby sucked in a deep breath and started to hyperventilate until Gibbs snapped her name and squeezed her arm.

“He’s been sold three times. It’s all in the file.” Fornell repeated tiredly. “Look I’ve got to get to the office; I flew in early this morning. I’m doing this in person as a courtesy for you Jethro.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Gibbs shook his head. “Unless it’s with us to collect DiNozzo.”

“The best I can do on that score is to talk with the Doctor and see if he can be released earlier rather than later. Don’t hold your breath.”

“Please continue with what happened with Anthony, Agent Fornell.” Ducky asked politely. “I understand you to say he was trained for someone who chose him specifically and then what… the deal fell through?”

“Boss, I’ve found several websites that talk about the Black Circle. But those kinds of ‘deals’…” McGee looked up from his phone where he’d been researching and Gibbs forgave him for thinking he’d not been paying attention. “… start in the millions and are paid for in advance. If the deal fell through and Tony was … auctioned off… then they made triple the money on him.”

“What else does it say?” Gibbs focused on McGee and prayed he didn’t start stuttering.

Glancing down at his phone, McGee cleared his throat and started reading aloud. “It says new slaves would be crammed in the smallest cage they would fit into, left alone in the dark with no contact until they went through all the stages…” He met Ducky’s eyes when he let out a deep sigh and nodded. 

“Yes, Anthony would have been left alone through the screaming and the rage and the demanding until he was begging and pleading.” Dropping his eyes, Ducky closed his eyes and sent up a prayer for Anthony and ignored Gibbs’ impatience, silencing him with a stern look.

“What else Timothy? Is there more?” Ducky encouraged quietly while Gibbs caught Fornell watching him from the corner of his eyes. “Surely he was let out to exercise and eat and use the bathroom?” His tone was reasonable, but Fornell barked out a harsh laugh. 

“It’s not a luxury hotel Dr. Mallard!” Looking around at all of them and shaking his head, Fornell snorted. “Of course he wasn’t let out. He lay in his own filth and heard nothing but his own voice until … Look, this is DiNozzo we’re talking about. He wouldn’t have spent many days in the cage, he would have gone insane quickly without an audience and begged to be let out.”

Abby sucked in a harsh breath and Gibbs knew she hated Fornell in that moment—well as much as Abby could hate anyone. 

“DiNozzo is my lead agent for a reason, Fornell. He would have done whatever it took to survive until we could find him.” Gibbs dropped his eyes when Fornell lifted on eyebrow at him.

“But you’re right.” Fornell interrupted before blood was spilled. “The original buyer was apparently unavailable and the Circle only holds someone so long. DiNozzo was first sold to some oil baron in Oklahoma. He was there maybe four, five months then sold to … um…” Fornell snapped his fingers a couple times trying to remember.

“651 days Fornell.” Gibbs reminded him. “DiNozzo has been missing for 651 days. That’s one year, nine months, and 12 days.”

“93 weeks.” McGee spoke up. “15,624 hours.”

“937,440 minutes.” Abby sobbed.

“56,246,400 seconds.” McGee shook his head sadly squeezing his coffee cup tightly. 

Gibbs saved his glare for Fornell. He didn’t need to hear that shit. 651 days was bad enough. He didn’t need it reduced to hours or seconds even if DiNozzo had to live through it, one second at a time.

“From what the Doc was able to piece together from his last owner, some over-the-hill actress… can’t remember her name either. I’ve seen all her movies—still has a great body.” Fornell mused and Gibbs slammed his palm down on the table causing everyone to jump. “Okay fine.” Fornell held both palms up in surrender. “DiNozzo’s second owner was a dot.com millionaire.” Fornell took a sip of his almost cold coffee and wrinkled up his nose. “The Doc negotiated a deal and bought DiNozzo—”

“Wait!” Gibbs growled. “Are you telling me this Doctor _bought_ DiNozzo?” His hand tightened on Abby’s arm until she squeaked and he let it go with a murmured apology. “Oh HELL no, Fornell. Hell. No.”

“Relax Jethro. You know how this works.” Fornell grinned at him. “Just like any other sting for contraband. The Doc has to stay undercover if this is going to work time and time again.” His eyes narrowed and his voice lowered. “She recognized DiNozzo as a missing Federal agent. Which means some poor kid has to wait until we recover the funds spent on him so she or one of her contacts can go back for someone else.”

“She’s in jail right?” Abby asked, wiping her face on a couple napkins.

“Sorry. These people are smart enough to get dual citizenship before buying a slave. Besides, we’re not going to get the sharks if we jail all the little fish.” Fornell checked his watch and sighed. “So far we have no idea who placed the original order.”

“Look. I’ll call the Doc and see what I can do for you.” He held up a hand as Gibbs opened his mouth to argue. “Best case, I can get you in to see him.”

“Not good enough.” Gibbs shook his head adamantly. “DiNozzo belongs here with us. If he can’t stay alone, then he can stay at my house. I’ll keep an eye on him.” By then he’d have plenty of time to figure out what was going on with Miss Mossad.

“You’ll keep an eye on him?” Fornell rolled his eyes. “That’s just great.”

“We all will.” Ducky interrupted, catching nods from McGee and Abby. “I’m sure Mr. Palmer will do his part if necessary.”

“What part of ‘brainwashed’ didn’t you people understand?” Fornell stood, ignoring Gibbs heavyweight glare. “You just don’t get it. Dr. Winters said he’s had some kind of traumatic break on top of everything. He’s convinced he’s a slave. Refuses to consider he’s DiNozzo—even though we took fingerprints to prove it to him. It’s going to take a while to undo that as well as everything else.”

“Are you sure you got our Tony?” Abby whimpered. “Did you test DNA?”

“Yes Ms. Scuito, we’re sure it’s DiNozzo. He recognized me.” Fornell snorted. “Five seconds later he was denying he was DiNozzo.”

Gibbs took a couple of deep breaths so he wouldn’t slam Fornell’s smirking face into the table. “DiNozzo is very good undercover. He’s playing a role of some kind, something to survive…got in too deep…”

Fornell rubbed his eyes again. He really didn’t have time for this. “Do you think he’s been in chains? Locked up – no way to escape after he was sold?” Fornell chuckled grimly. “He could have walked away most anytime in the last year. And he didn’t. Get that through your thick head Jethro.”

“I don’t believe it!” Gibbs shook his head angrily. “DiNozzo—”

“He doesn’t want to come back. He doesn’t want to see you… any of you.” Fornell said reluctantly. “Personally, I think he’s ashamed for you to see him like that, to know what he’s done, but that’s just me.”

“DiNozzo’s got nothing to be ashamed of!” Gibbs shot Fornell a hard look, daring him to say something. “Whatever he did, he did to survive, to hold on until he could escape or be found. He’ll be fine.”

“If Anthony has indeed had a psychotic break, it would be perfectly understandable. But being around us, letting us remind him, talk to him… that should go a long way toward healing him and uniting the parts of his psyche that have separated.” Ducky spoke mainly to Gibbs, but everyone was nodding. Everyone but Fornell who was rolling his eyes again.

“Right. Nothing’s changed. We’re still going to get him.” Gibbs would go alone if he had to. “If that Doc wants to tag along, I don’t care. DiNozzo belongs here, with us.” Gibbs looked around at his team nodding back in agreement. “I can’t say I care for this idea of the Doc buying him. That’s gonna have to be straightened out. No one owns DiNozzo.”

“Dr. Winters had to buy him—look, it’s the only way to get them out without a screaming fuss. DiNozzo was begging to go back as soon as he saw me and realized what was going on. They don’t let them out the training centers until they are well and truly broken. ”

They stared at him nonplussed, all of them shaking their heads no. Not Tony.

“I’ve seen it before.” Crumpling the empty coffee cup in one hand, he glanced at all of them. “None of them, not a single damn one out of six years in this program…” He paused to make sure they were listening. “… not _one_ wanted to leave the Doc and most didn’t want to leave their previous owner – buying them outright was the only way. This isn’t some undercover operation where you put on a mask and take it off when it’s over.” They were still staring at him and he sighed. “Before you rush up there to rescue your boy Gibbs, you better think long and hard, because right now? Right now he’s a slave and you won’t… DiNozzo believes—no, he _knows_ —he belongs to the Doc and you’ll play hell getting him to leave with you.” Fornell started to walk away, and turned back just beyond Ducky’s chair. “I’ll call as soon as I talk to Dr. Winters.”

“The hell I won’t.” Gibbs promised under his breath. They hadn’t waited _651 fucking days_ for a phone call. “They’d be on the way to New York by the weekend, come hell or high water.

“Not Tony.” Abby called after him. “Not our Tony.”

*|*


	4. Chapter 4

*|*

Mouth agape, Tony fell backwards ignoring the way the rough carpet burned his skin. Hands still cuffed together in front, he scrambled up, pulling himself up to his knees by one of the seats. “Fornell!” Shock made his voice hoarse and Tony’s eyes darted between the familiar FBI agent and his new Mistress. “Take me back.” He ordered when he realized what was going on. “You had no right—” 

“Stop and repeat what you said not two minutes ago.” Her voice was deep and smooth, like warm honey. All traces of derisiveness and impatience were gone. “Please don’t make me repeat myself.”

Tony swallowed and glared at a grinning Fornell another second before muttering, eyes on hers defiantly. “I belong to you.” Twisting his lips in sarcasm, he went on. “And I will do whatever you tell me to, willingly without… without…”

“Yes. Exactly.” He sensed infinite patience in those eyes and knew he was going to need it. “I… well the government… paid a hefty price for you and right now, you’ll do as you’re told.” She smiled lightly to soften the words. “No one is going to hurt you. Not anymore.”

She studied his face until he became uncomfortable and tried to drop his head. Quickly holding out a hand to cup his chin, she stopped him and gestured to the seat beside her. Fornell, still grinning madly took a seat opposite them and buckled in. 

“My name is Alexia Winters. I am a psychologist and I’m going to work with you until you feel comfortable living with freedom again. Until you are back to your old self.” 

“You can’t do this!” Tony cried. “You’re going to arrest her aren’t you?” Slamming his locked fists down on the divider between them, Tony’s glare turned anxious and pleading. “She didn’t hurt me, she was nice to me. I... I…”

“Mr. DiNozzo. Anthony—” Leaning close to him, Alex laid her hands over his and smiled gently. “Ms.—”

“That’s not my name!” Jerking his hands away, Tony flung himself back in his seat and. “Don’t call me that! That’s someone else! Not me. My name is Fed.” Bringing both fists up, Tony pressed them against his forehead. _NO No No._

“Knock it off, DiNutzo!” Fornell started to get angry. “In case it has escaped your notice, this is a rescue! You should be grateful, but nooooooo, you’re throwing a tantrum. I can’t wait until Gibbs gets a load of this.”

“I didn’t ask to be rescued!” Tony threw him a glare. “I want to go home.” Tony pleaded knowing it was futile. “Please, please take me back.” He couldn’t return to DiNozzo’s life. They couldn’t see him like this. They couldn’t see Fed. And then suddenly the anxiety drained and he relaxed. He was Fed, nothing more. Just a slave that didn’t need to be concerned about what Masters thought or did. He was Fed.

“Tony.” Alex held up a hand to forestall his protest, missing the loss of tension in him. “I understand how you’re feeling right now, believe me I do… you’re not the first person to be rescued—and yes you are being rescued no matter how you feel right now. They _took_ you and _tortured_ you to make you obey and we’re going undo all that. The transition isn’t quick or easy, but it can be done. You can go home again.”

“You don’t understand.” Tony sighed and closed his eyes. The name Anthony DiNozzo was making his head pound. “I’m not this DiNozzo…DiNutzo …guy… You’ve made a mistake, got the wrong person. I’m nothing, just a slave.”

“The Doc paid top dollar for you. I wouldn’t be so quick to rebuff her offer.” Fornell leaned forward gesturing angrily at Tony. “What’s wrong with you DiNutzo? You think I don’t recognize you? It hasn’t even been two years. Sure, you’re a little skinnier, hair’s a little longer, but I know you, kid. You act like we’re the ones that’ve kidnapped you!”

“You’re not Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, employed by NCIS? Kidnapped September 3rd of last year?” Tony shook his head furiously. “No. I am not.” He stated decisively. “My name is Fed.”

Pulling a file from her briefcase she spread the pictures out over her lap and compared them to the man beside her. “If you’re not, the resemblance is quite extraordinary.” She held one of the pictures out to him but he ignored it. “Agent Fornell, do you have a fingerprint kit with you?”

“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “I carry one of those around in my pocket. That’s DiNozzo. I’d swear in a court of law. But if you insist, I can call ahead and have someone meet us at the airport to make sure.”

Nodding slowly she shuffled the pictures back into the folder and replaced it in her briefcase. “Yes please. We don’t want to make a mistake.” She gave Fornell a long look.

“Well even if by some bizarre chance, this isn’t DiNozzo, he’s now free. Slavery is still illegal in the US of A.”

“I quite agree with you.” Smiling at Tony, she reached over and took one of his hands. “Agent Fornell is correct. Even if you are not Anthony DiNozzo, you’re a not a slave any longer and we will find out who you are and where you belong.”

Tony rolled his head to the side and studied her. She was an attractive woman, maybe early fifties. It might not be as bad as he’d feared, now she’d dropped the hard-ass act. If he could convince her to keep him…

“I belong to you.” Tony gave her a small smile and went on in a subservient tone. “And I will do whatever you tell me to. Willingly, without question or complaint.”

“Alright. We’ll know soon enough who you really are.” She nodded at him ignoring Fornell’s glaring frown. “Stop working those not inconsiderable wiles on me, Fed. Your puppy-dog eyes are quite beautiful, but unnecessary.” She smiled a lot. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Mistress…” He began tentatively, holding out his wrists. There was no need for handcuffs—on a plane. Did they think he was going to make a break for it at 30,000 feet?

Shaking her head no, she reached into her briefcase and pulled out a paperback. “You may call me Alex, or Dr. Winters or even Doc. You will not call me Mistress.” Looking over at him after she found her place, she smiled. “You don’t need my permission to speak, get refreshment , to wear whatever you want – or go to the bathroom—just let me know where you’re going. We brought some clothes for you to change into.” Giving Fornell a quick glance, she turned back to Tony. “You do, however, need my permission to leave the house or use the telephone. Anything else, just ask me.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He nodded obediently, seeing Fornell roll his eyes. “Would you like a drink? This thing should have a mini bar.”

“Don’t call me ma’am either. That’s my mother.” She turned a page without looking up.

“Yes…Doc.” 

“Thank you.” She answered without looking up. “Some Perrier on ice with lemon, please.”

“I’ll take a bourbon.” Fornell’s grin widened when Tony nodded to him and spoke a soft ‘yes, sir.’

At the bar, Tony realized they weren’t just going to free him— _save_ him. They were going to send him right back to … No! He fumbled the lemon and several slices hit the floor and bounced across the carpet. Tony held on to the sink with both hands and paled. He’d stay with the Doc long enough to gain her trust and then he’d disappear. Someone would take him in—after all, he was a trained pleasure slave able to please the most demanding owner.

 

*|*

Half an hour later, when Tony was dozing in the seat beside Dr. Winters, her left hand held firmly in both of his, she laid down her book and gestured Fornell closer.

“He’s DiNozzo. I’d stake my career on it.” Fornell whispered furiously. “I don’t get it. What kind of game is he playing? How can he sit there and say he’s not DiNozzo when he recognized me?”

“I’m sure you’re right, but I don’t think he’s playing a game. The mind is a curious thing. We rescue so few adults, with the way they’re treated, most kids just don’t live long enough to grow up. However, I think what has happened here is that Tony’s mind has separated himself from DiNozzo, going so far as to believe DiNozzo is another person in order to retain his sanity. It’s a coping mechanism.”

“That’s just crazy.” Fornell scoffed, sipping his bourbon.

Dr. Winters raised an eyebrow. “Tell me Agent Fornell, how well would you cope in this situation?”

He flushed and shook his head. “That’s different. I’m a trained FBI agent.”

“And Tony isn’t a trained NCIS agent? Relax, this is nothing that can’t be worked around. It’ll just take a little longer. He’ll realize who he is again once he feels safe and understands he doesn’t have to be a slave anymore.”

“His boss, Agent Gibbs, is going to be very, very unhappy.” Fornell didn’t try to stop the smirk. “I can’t wait to see his face.”

“Tony is my prime concern right now. I can’t be bothered with unhappy bosses.” Dr. Winters checked Tony to make sure he was still asleep before opening her book and ending the conversation.

*|*  
It was after dark when the plane landed in New York. Dr. Winters removed the handcuffs so Tony could change into the jeans and dark sweater they brought. Someone had picked his sizes very well, even the shoes fit. It was a bit warm for the sweater, but Tony pushed the sleeves up and followed his Mistress and Fornell out of the plane. 

Before they could get into the waiting town car, Fornell pointed them to a black SUV at the side. A young agent climbed and met them halfway.

“Agent Fornell? Sir, I have the portable fingerprint unit you requested.”

Gesturing toward Tony, Fornell leaned against the car and pulled out his cellphone.

“Sir?” The agent stopped in front of Tony and held the device out. “Place your thumb on the screen please.”

Tony looked at the screen and at Dr. Winters. At her nod, he placed his thumb on the screen and pulled it away at the beep. He pressed closer to her, nervously reaching for her hand. 

The agent stepped back and pressed a few keys. Before she had time to say anything, the device beeped again and the agent called Fornell over. Fornell held up a hand and finished his phone call before walking over and looking at the unit. With a grin he took the device and held it out so Dr. Winters could easily see Anthony DiNozzo’s face, identifying him as a missing NCIS agent.

“Tony?” She nodded at the picture. “That’s you isn’t it?”

Tony glanced at it and squeezed her hand shaking his head decisively. “It’s wrong. That’s not me.” 

“Tony?” She emphasized his name. “I—”

“It’s a mistake.” He had to make them see. “I don’t know… it’s not me. I’m not … I’m not _him,_ not DiNozzo. I’m just Fed. Please…” His voice was going shrill and he shut up, turning into her shoulder. “Please.” He whispered into her hair. “I’m not him. I can’t be him.” He felt his knees going weak and he wanted to kneel and prove he was just Fed, just a slave.

“It’s alright.” She caught him around the waist. “We’ll get it sorted out, but you can understand why I expect you to answer to the name Tony DiNozzo, can’t you?” Without waiting for an answer, she nodded to Fornell and walked them to the waiting town car. The driver still had the trunk open, loading their bags when the Doc opened the door and gestured Tony in first. 

Suddenly shivering in the air conditioning, Tony pressed against her side, fumbling for her hand. “Doc.” He didn’t know what to say. Repeating her name, he closed his eyes and didn’t open them even when Fornell climbed in. The Doc must have made some gesture because he didn’t tease Tony, but managed to make several aggravated sighs before they were out of the airport.

*|*


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs pushed impatiently between Ducky and McGee, grabbing at the ME’s arm to keep him from crashing into the bland wall. “Sorry, Duck.” He tossed over his shoulder, stopping only when he stood directly in front of the glass door with _DR. WINTERS Phd._ Written in fancy script with gold ink. 

Pausing barely long enough to take a breath, he turned the knob and pushed the door open with enough force to bang it against the wall. Moving inside before Ducky and McGee could step on his heels, he heard Abby whispering furiously as he took in the room. 

_Comfy, not overly ostentatious._ His gaze darted around the room and came back to settle on the large desk decorated with only a bright purple orchid in one corner and a laptop centered exactly in the middle. The woman behind the desk closed the laptop and leaned back in her chair, calmly examining him with no expression what-so-ever. “You must be Gibbs.” A slight smile touched her mouth before she tucked it out of sight. 

He lifted one eyebrow and brought forth his best demanding glare. “I want to see Dr. Winters. Now.” He added when she merely raised a matching eyebrow. Eyes focusing on the door behind her, he started around the desk. “Look… Ma’am.” He added a touch of derision that usually pissed off the middle-aged women he’d used it on before, no matter how beautiful they still were, one could usually tell, but she remained impassive, not even coming to her feet. “I need to see your boss right now. Don’t have time to fool around with a secretary or administrative assistant or whatever the hell you’re calling yourselves these days.” He added a bit more derision and paused when her half-smile reappeared.

Before he could take another step or come up with something that was bound to rattle her, Fornell came through the door behind the desk, nodding at Gibbs before pulling the door tightly shut behind him.

“Figured you’d be here by now.” Fornell grinned and leaned against the door. “Nice trip?”

“Get out of the way Fornell.” Gibbs growled, ignoring the way his team spread out behind him, blocking the exit. “I want to see DiNozzo. And that damn doctor you’re so protective of.”

Fornell frowned and glanced at the woman before his face cleared. “Ah.” His mouth spread into a shark’s grin showing all his newly whitened teeth. “Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, allow me to introduce you to Dr. Winters. Dr. Alex Winters.” He nodded toward the woman, who finally stood and met him at the side of the desk. One hand outstretched and one corner of her mouth turned slightly up.

“Alexia. Agent Gibbs.” She held her hand out for a moment longer before giving him a slight laugh and without any trace of embarrassment dropped it back to her side. “We need to talk before you see Tony.”

“You’re Dr. Winters? You’re a woman!” Gibbs eyes flicked between her and Fornell. Even without the heels she’d be a scant inch shorter than him and there wasn’t a flicker of fear or unease in her eyes. She must be depending on Fornell to stop him. “There’s nothing to talk about.” He drawled. “I’ve come for DiNozzo and as soon as I have him, we’ll be on our way.”

“A woman? Yes.” She smirked. “I see why Senior Special Agent Fornell thinks you’re such a good investigator.”

“Jethro.” Ducky cautioned in a low voice and Gibbs automatically shrugged his hand off. “Anthony is under Dr. Winters’ care and she has to release him before we can take him.” Ducky edged around Gibbs and held out his own hand.

Rolling his eyes when she gave Ducky a genuine smile along with her hand, Gibbs crossed his arms and prepared to wait. 

“Dr. Mallard. Please call me Ducky.” The ME fawned over her and Gibbs ground his teeth. “I’m Anthony’s personal physician. I would like to see him if I may? We’ve been terribly worried and we’d like to sincerely thank you for bringing him home.” Ducky held her hand in both of his and smiled up at her. “You must understand we’re a bit… on edge as it were.” He lifted his chin toward Gibbs and looked around in surprise when Fornell barked out a laugh. “Anthony’s been …gone for quite some time. We are understandably worried.”

“Certainly Dr. … Ducky.” Her smile widened and Gibbs clenched his fists in an effort not to shout at both of them to cut the crap and get DiNozzo in here. “I was under the assumption that Senior Special Agent Fornell shared my preliminary notes with you.”

“He did, but we need to see our Tony. Right now. Please.” Abby snapped, clumping forward in bright red boots and matching miniskirt. “He’s our Tony and we’ve missed him so much.” Abby smiled winningly, all eyes on her. “Please Dr. Alex, let us see him. We need to know he’s alright and we can’t do that unless we see him. I mean see him with our actual eyes and not—”

“And you are?” That thing with the eyebrows again. She dropped Ducky’s hands and tucked hers into jacket pockets. Gibbs twisted his lips fighting for patience, DiNozzo could probably inform them of the cost of her fancy suit to within a few bucks. It didn’t impress him.

“Abby Sciuto, please ma’am.” Gibbs growled under his breath, ready to jerk her back if she so much as looked she was going to curtsey. “I’m Tony’s best friend in the whole world.” On the other hand, Gibbs grinned, whatever worked.

“I know you all want to see Anthony as soon as possible, but I feel there are certain facts we need to cover first.” The doctor walked back around her desk and pulled out the swivel chair and sat in one graceful motion. “Please.” She gestured to a row of chairs and a leather couch that Gibbs had dismissed in his first glance.

“Is Tony –” Abby backed toward a chair and collapsed more than sat.

“If there’s something wrong with Tony, could you please just tell us?” McGee edged toward the couch. Ducky sat down in a chair and looked expectant. Apparently only the doctor was expecting him to sit down. Too bad.

“Fornell, get the hell out of the way if you don’t want hurt.” Gibbs took a step toward his friend. “DiNozzo!” He shouted toward the door. “Front and center!”

Fornell pinched his nose and shook his head. “Jethro, I told you…”

“I don’t care what you _told_ me, Tobias. I want to see DiNozzo. Right damn now.” Gibbs took two more steps, but Fornell didn’t move. “DiNozzo, get your … get out here this instant!”

“Jethro. I think it would be advantageous…” Ducky slowly got to his feet.

“Fornell, how can you stand there and… and…” McGee spluttered. “We need to see Tony!” McGee appealed to Fornell. 

Suddenly everyone was shouting at once. Gibbs frowned slightly eyes on the door. Surely DiNozzo had heard all the noise and must be curious what was going on? Surely he’d heard Gibbs’s voice if not the others. He must not be in the next room after all. The damn doctor had probably hidden him somewhere. 

“That’s enough.” She hadn’t raised her voice, but it held enough anger to silence them all. “Shut up and sit down. _Now.”_ She leaned forward, elbows on the desk, clasping her hands together. 

Trying to control the choking noise threatening to come out of his mouth, Gibbs glanced behind him and plopped himself in the chair beside Ducky and threw both hands up in the air. “Please…” He put on his fake listening face and almost grinned when he heard Abby giggle.

She rubbed a hand across her mouth and leaned back. “I am going to assume you read the file.” She held up a hand when every mouth opened. “Anthony DiNozzo is still suffering from the effects of traumatic conditioning and personality reconstruction.” She stopped and glanced around at Fornell before continuing. “These people are very good at what they do and it usually takes quite a bit of time to undo what’s been done. Tony….” Her eyes drifted toward the window. 

“Just spit it out doc.” Gibbs huffed.

“Tony’s mind has created an unusual mechanism to deal with what happened to him. He truly believes he is not Anthony DiNozzo at all, but a slave who’s been named _Fed._ I am having difficulty getting him to respond to Anthony or even Tony.”

Abby sucked in a huge breath and Gibbs was afraid she’d start crying again. 

“Yeah we read all that in your report.” Gibbs said before Abby could explode. “Just hypnotize him or something and we’ll be on our way.”

“If only it were that simple.” Dr. Winters shook her head. Gibbs saw she was tempted to roll her eyes but managed to control herself. “Adults are rarely taken, but when they are… if they are recovered, there’s a very low rehabilitation rate.” Sighing at their confused faces, she went on. “Once an adult is broken – trust me they are _broken_ before being sold – the rehabilitation rate is down in single digits. Trust me when I say Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was well and truly broken.” Stopping to take a deep breath and let it out slowly she twisted her hands together and tried to think positive. “Children are much more … malleable and don’t need to be broken quite so deeply. A different training is involved.”

“Nothing is ever easy with Anthony.” Ducky grimaced. “Why I’ve a million stories I can tell you about his—” 

“Not now Duck.” Gibbs growled impatiently and frowned at Ducky who gave him a sheepish glance and nodded. “Doc?” He could hear Abby letting out the huge breath in controlled spurts.

“As I was saying. While I do believe there is some merit in surrounding Tony with friends and familiar places, I can’t stress enough that I cannot in good conscious release him into your care.” She gave Ducky a small smile. “If he goes, I go. It’s as simple as that.”

“Dr. Winters…” Fornell looked flabbergasted. “You can’t…. I mean… Well, you… We…”

“Close your mouth Tobias.” Gibbs grinned. “You heard the Doc.” Surging to his feet, he gestured Fornell to stand aside.

“You might as well let them see the kid.” Fornell sighed. “Gibbs isn’t going to leave until he does.”

Without another word, Dr. Winters stood. With a nod to Fornell, she watched as he opened the door and ushered her inside. Gibbs strode forward with Abby on his heels, making sharp little gasping noises.

It was a large conference room, with an oval wooden table, just like a thousand other conference rooms Gibbs had seen. He stumbled to a stop when his eyes landed on DiNozzo, kneeling on the floor at the far end of the table dressed in jeans and a sweater. “What the hell!” He surged forward, meaning to grab DiNozzo and jerk him to his feet if necessary. “What did you do to him? Why’s he on the floor like that?” The kid seemed to be shaking, something was very wrong with him.

“I’m so sorry Tony.” The Doctor crossed the room quickly cutting Gibbs off, heels making no sound on the carpet. “Fornell didn’t mean to leave you alone, but I know you heard my voice and knew I was in the next room.” 

“Tony!” Abby squealed and Gibbs heard her frustrated complaints as McGee held her back. “Tony it’s me, Abby.”

“I thought we were clear on the subject of kneeling.” Dr. Winters chided gently, stepping in front of Gibbs to block his way. “These are your friends and co-workers who’ve come to take you home.” She said softly. “Get up now and say hello.”

Gibbs waited impatiently while DiNozzo lifted his head and couldn’t help the gasp when he saw the two stark, black circles tattooed just under both ears. Without meeting his eyes, DiNozzo got to his feet and stood patiently waiting, head turned toward the door, eyes downcast.

_‘When the hell are you going to grow up… damn fuckup… damn fuckup…’_ Tony bit his lip until he was sure it was bleeding, choking back the scream that threatened to burst out and blinked rapidly. He couldn’t control the shivering, but he could focus his hearing. Where was his Mistress?

“I’m sorry Tony.” There she was. He almost sagged in relief. She’d let Gibbs in, let them all in, but she was here and close beside him. He tilted his eyes until he caught sight of her boots. He was safe. She wouldn’t let anything happen to him. She wouldn’t let them take him away. She was talking, but he couldn’t hear anything over the pounding of his heart. 

“Tony? Say hello.” What choice did he have? The Doc was his Mistress and he had to obey her. “They’ve been very worried about you and have come a long way to see you.” 

*|*


	6. Chapter 6

*|*

 

Tony sat stiffly, staring sullenly at his empty plate. Pizza didn’t belong on fine china and wasn’t meant to be eaten with knife and fork. Hands twisting restlessly in his lap, he ignored Fornell’s curious glances from across the table. Dr. Winters sat at the head or the foot, depending. 

“Whatssa matter DiNutzo? I thought this was your favorite.” Fornell asked, still chewing.

“Is something wrong Tony?” The Doc’s hands stilled, silverware poised to cut another bite. She ate daintily and Tony was pleased to see she hadn’t finished the first glass of wine. Fornell was already on his second beer. Maybe he was spending the night. “Michelle bragged about your behavior in fine restaurants. Would you prefer to eat in the kitchen… alone?” She asked, cutting a tiny sliver of pizza and spearing it with a fork.

“No Mis—Doc. I’m not… hungry.” His kept his voice low and his eyes on the plate. He was starving, but he couldn’t just eat. Not without … there were rules and she wasn’t following them. It could be a trap, it had happened before. He didn’t want to be punished, it wasn’t fair. The pizza smelled so good and it wasn’t often his tastes were indulged to this extent.

Tony ducked his head lower. If she were a proper Mistress she would know what to do, but she was just some FBI agent – sting doctor. Not someone who wanted him for himself, or even wanted to give him to someone else. With a sigh, she chewed slowly and exchanged glances with Fornell. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony watched her hold a large bite of pizza out to him. 

Shaking his head no, Tony tightened his lips in protest. Okay so she knew what to do, but that didn’t mean anything. She—

“Don’t try to top me Tony.” She commanded in a low voice, nearly drowned out by Fornell’s choked laugher. “Eat. Now.”

Tony opened his mouth obediently and took the pizza from her fork. It only meant he was hungry, that’s all. Hands gripping the edge of his chair, he took every bite she offered with soft thanks and ignored Fornell’s smirking face. 

*|*

 

After Fornell excused himself, Tony stood and started gathering plates and silverware.

“Don’t bother.” She waved a hand at him and leaned back in her chair, eyes on the wine she was swirling. “I have a service that comes in the mornings. Come into the living room. I want to discuss what comes next.”

“It’s no bother.” He answered continuing toward the kitchen. “Let me just put them in the dishwasher.”

“I said, let it go.” Setting the glass down hard on the table, a bit of wine sloshed on the pristine tablecloth. “Damn it!” She dabbed at the stain with an equally white linin napkin. “That’s never gonna come out.”

With a sigh, Tony sat the stack of plates on the corner of the table. Coming around to her side, he took the cloth from her hand and laid it on the table. “I’ll get it out tomorrow. It’s not a big deal.” Tony watched her closely, this was the first bit of temper she’d shown. “I can take care of things like this.”

“You’re not a servant, Tony. You’re a patient, a victim of abuse and who knows what. It’s my job to guide your thinking until you understand you’re free.” She took a big gulp of wine and looked around for the bottle to refill her glass. Reaching across her, Tony grabbed it and filled her glass halfway.

“Clearing the table and removing stains is just a small part of my duties.” He said quietly. “I’m Fed, just a slave. Your slave.” 

“No. Dammit, Anthony DiNozzo, you are not a slave.” Frowning up at him, she jerked the bottle out of his hand and put it and her glass on the table with exaggerated care. “I guess that’s the first thing we need to work on. Go on in the living room and wait for me. I’ll only be a minute.” She started to stand, but he pushed her gently back down and squatted at her feet.

“Make up your mind.” Putting his hands on her lap, he slid up into a kneel. “Either I’m your slave and I do what you tell me to without …blah blah blah or I’m a free man and I walk out that door right now.”

Her eyes widened and then narrowed. “And go where? You have no ID, no money, just the clothes you’re standing in.” She laughed mirthlessly and shook her head. “There is nowhere for you to go.” 

“I’m not one of the kids you normally … _rescue.”_ He said in a low voice, not the least bit subservient. “I’m a grown man. If nothing else I can go back to Mistress Pfeiffer.” He grinned. “I’m sure she’ll think of something I can do.”

“Oh Yes.” She nodded and met his grin with one of her own. “I hold your Ownership Papers. All I need do is report you as a runaway and when the Black Circle finds you…” Lifting her chin, she shook her head and he wondered if she knew how obvious it was that she would never do such a thing. For all her ability to go undercover and buy slaves to bring them to freedom, she was a poor liar.

“Then I’ll go to the press.” He shrugged nonchalantly, playing his own threat

“You’d really do that?” She leaned back and looked at him in disbelief. “Expose us and ruin the chances of every enslaved kid out there?” She studied him a minute and let the edge of her lip curl. “You might have nothing to go back to, but there are hundreds of families out there that would give anything to get their son or daughter home.”

Tony ducked his head. “No.” He said in a small voice. “But you can’t keep me here unless I’m yours.” Lifting his head defiantly he stared at her. “So which is it gonna be Dr. Winters? Am I yours or do I walk?”

“You’re in no condition mentally to walk out.” She warned, tipping her head sideways. “You need debriefed if nothing else. SSA Fornell will insist on a statement.”

“Mistress or …” He got to his feet when she didn’t answer and walked toward the living room where his jacket was thrown across the back of the sofa. Giving her a last glance, Tony shrugged and unlocked the door, keying the alarm off just as he’d watched her key it on. 

Letting the door shut softly behind him, Tony took a deep breath and headed for the elevator. 

“Wait!” She was running down the carpeted hallway after him. “Tony wait!” 

Not bothering to spare her a glance, Tony stepped into the elevator and pressed 1. Before the doors could close, she thrust a hand between them to stop the elevator. 

“Fine.” She spat, eyes snapping at his grin. “Get on your knees boy.”

Without a word, Tony dropped to his knees there in the elevator, head bowed obediently, waiting for her instructions.

“You are my slave until I deem you worthy to be set free.” She said imperiously, touching his head gently. “Do you understand Tony?”

“Not my name.” He frowned, but didn’t pull away.

“I will call you anything I please.” She said in the same hard voice she’d used at Mistress Michelle’s, hand tightening in his hair. “And you will answer to it. _Do_ you understand? Tony?”

He nodded slowly. He knew how this went. Dr. Winters didn’t believe in slavery. She rescued slaves, she didn’t keep them. She would counsel him, talk at him until she was blue in the face and he went insane. She was counting on the fact that eventually he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore and decide even being Tony DiNozzo was better than this. Well she’d see. He’d take Insanity over DiNozzo any day.

“Good. Get back in the apartment and sit on the couch. Not another word.” She threatened when he opened his mouth. With a short nod, he got to his feet and followed her back inside. The elevator alarm sounded and the doors closed slowly. Neither looked back.

Stopping him in the entranceway, she tilted her chin. “Who is that?” She asked, motioning to the mirror.

Tony glanced up and quickly down and away. “Fed.” He mumbled and tried to turn away. 

“Why does Fed look exactly like Anthony DiNozzo?” Pulling his NCIS ID out of a pocket she held it up beside his reflection.

Tony glanced up again and shrugged one shoulder. “DiNozzo’s just a reflection of the masks.” He shrugged again and sighed just loud enough so that she wouldn’t know he was humoring her.

“I can’t tell the difference.” She glanced back and forth between the reflection and the ID.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you.” Shaking his head at her, he lifted his hands slightly. “That’s not me. Fed is free. He’s…” glancing at the ID he pressed his lips tightly together. “…not.”

As soon as he was alone with a computer, Tony planned on was searching for his real Mistress. The one who chose him first and paid for his training. He didn’t think Dr. Winters knew he knew, but the trainers had taunted him day after day when she never showed up to claim him. He never heard her name, but he knew she was out there. Somewhere. She had wanted him, really wanted him.

 

_**“Knew you were too old boy, your Mistress already got a younger model warming her bed.” Harsh laughter rebounded off the dirty cement walls. “You’re never gonna get it boy. No wonder your Mistress changed her mind. You’re worthless.” “You call that back straight!” slap. “Bend your neck boy, eyes on the floor.” “Maybe we can find some old rich dude, one foot in the grave that’d be willing to take you on.” “Maybe we should just send him to the slicers and dicers now. Trying to turn this piece of shit into an obedient slave is a waste of time.” “Get back in the cage, I’m tired of wasting my time on you. Don’t even dream about getting anything to eat either. You didn’t earn it.”**_

He wasn’t worthy. He knew that, but he could be. He would be. He just had to find her and prove himself. Surely she hadn’t written him off. They couldn’t be right. She was just … detained or something. _For over a year?_ The little voice in the back of his head whispered. _No one is that late. They were right, she’s never coming for you. You’re nothing but a fuckup, fuckup, fuckup._

“Shut up!” Tony grabbed his head with both hands and bent over, eyes screwed shut. "Shutupshutupshutup!”

“Tony, what is it?” Dr. Winters leaned forward, put her arms around him and pulled him close. “What’s wrong?” 

“He tried so hard.” Ignoring the sting of tears, he went on, trying to explain, to make her understand. “He did everything they asked… and more… but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.” He sighed and closed his eyes in defeat. “He was never good enough.” The words were a faint whisper and his head fell forward. “He was nothing but a fuckup.” _fuckup, fuckup, fuckup._ “Not for Senior, or the Pros, or Peoria or Philly or Baltimore and definitely not Gibbs. Never be good enough for Gibbs.”

“Oh Tony.” Her hand was in his hair, offering comfort. He sighed again and leaned his head against her thigh. “That must have hurt so much. But sometimes…” She caught her breath when the cell on the table started warbling. “… sometimes what we think we know isn’t always right.” He felt her pick up the phone with her other hand and lay it back without answering. “Sometimes people lie.” She said with a little snort of laughter. “People lie about their feelings, especially when they’re angry.”

“Maybe.” He nodded his head slightly against her leg reaching up to swipe at his face. “But surely not all of them. How could all of them lie to him like that?” He took in a sobbing breath and tried to control his voice. “Couldn’t they see how much… how much it hurt him?”

“Your team never gave up searching for you. They do care about you.” He felt fingertips tracing across his cheek and realized he must be making a wet spot on her slacks. “Let go Tony. Let the tears carry away all the pain.”

He made an inarticulate sound that even he couldn’t understand and started to sob. She made soothing noises and stroked his hair until the emotional storm passed and he was able to breathe again.

“Tears are a good way to clear away all the emotional baggage.” Tightening her fingers in his hair, she tugged his head up to meet her gaze. “Feel better now? Want to talk some more or are you ready for bed?”

Tony shrugged and pulled his head free and laid his cheek on her knee, staring at the opposite wall. There was some kind of Asian print that he couldn’t make heads or tails of. She went back to stroking his hair and eventually he let his eyes close in pleasure. None of the others had ever just sat and let him talk. It was nice. She was nice. 

“Tell me what happened after you were kidnapped?” Leaning over slightly, she clicked on the tape recorder on the end table making no secret of her intention.  
Turning his face down tight against her leg, Tony shivered. His stomach roiled and he pressed his lips tightly together. Pizza might not have been such a good idea. “I … I can’t. Not right now.” He whispered, curling in on himself as much as possible lying on the couch, head in her lap. “Please don’t make me.”

“Shhhh. We’ll worry about that later.” She started stroking his hair again, and it was a few minutes before Tony finally relaxed. “Tell me about Anthony DiNozzo.”

“He’s not real.” Tony sighed. Knowing this was coming and being prepared to talk about it were two different things, but at least it wasn’t his training. “Doesn’t exist.”

“What do you mean?” She sounded honestly confused, not argumentative so Tony gathered his thoughts and tried to explain in a way she would understand.

“He’s not a real person.” Taking a deep breath, Tony wiggled into the couch. This might take a while.

“Who—” 

“I don’t think I’m up to an interrogation tonight. Please just let me talk. Doc.” He added as an afterthought where he would normally have said Mistress. When he was sure she wasn’t going to interrupt, he went on.

“DiNozzo was a collection of characters, persona’s… different masks. He put on at least one a day, sometimes more. He lived undercover. That’s why he was so good at going undercover for his job.”

She hummed and he sighed. Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Counselors of any rank were never satisfied, always wanting more, more, more. Digging into your head with a dull spoon, poking through stuff until there was nothing left. Chuckling to himself, Tony thought it was a good thing his head was pretty empty these days. This wouldn’t take all that long after all.

“Buff – he’s the frat boy. Wealthy snob, not a brain in his head. Cares only about his appearance and having a good time. Always trying to score a supermodel. Annoys everyone just on principle.”

“Bruno – the Hand of Justice.” Tony grinned in satisfaction and then darted a glance up at Doc. “The life of a federal agent isn’t all fun and games.” She opened her mouth and he glared at her until she closed it again. “The big boys play rough and DiNozzo … well he had to protect himself and his team… Gibbs’ six….” Tony’s voice trailed off and he stared out the window awhile.

“Did I mention Adric? He’s a player, good looking and he knows it. Fast and loose with the ladies. No strings. Always leaves them panting for more. Knows a knock-off from designer at twenty feet.”

“Brady – funny guy. Never met a practical joke he didn’t like. Life of the party. Mature as a twelve-year-old brat, but very creative.” Tony smiled in remembrance of some of the pranks DiNozzo had pulled on McGee. 

“Noel – the movie expert. He knows every movie ever made backwards and forward. Who wrote, directed and produced it. Staring characters, quotes and a few lousy impressions. He always wanted to be Magnum when he grew up.”

“So you see, Doc.” Tony paused trying to get his voice under control. “Tony DiNozzo doesn’t exist. He never did.”  


“Oh Tony.” She whispered, hand still in his hair. “It won’t be easy, but if you try and work hard, we can make Anthony DiNozzo into someone you’ll be proud to be.”  


“I’m… happy as Fed. I’ve never been just happy before.” He whispered back. “I don’t… I’m really tired Doc, can I go to sleep now?”  


“Yes, certainly.” She waited until he sat up and swiped at his face unashamedly before leading him to the guest room.  


“No.” He shook his head and refused to enter the dark room. “Please Mis—Doc, I can’t … I can’t… Let me sleep on your floor. Please. I’ll be quiet.” Biting his lips, he finally looked at her face. _“Please.”_  


“Are you afraid of the dark? Afraid to be alone?” She asked hesitantly, trying to read his eyes.  


“Yes.” He nodded fervently. “Please.”  


After a long moment, she nodded slowly. Tony let out a breath and meekly followed her down the hall.

*|*


	7. Chapter 7

*|*

Tony lay still, cozy and warm, wrapped in a comforter watching the sky lighten around the drapes and forced his thoughts back to the night before. 

She’d given him one of her feather pillows when she’d came to bed and he lay there a long time surrounded by her perfume and listening to her soft breathing before falling asleep despite intentions to the contrary. 

He had a goal now, a goal that had a glimmer of a chance of succeeding. Everything else would be bent and shaped to make it happen or discarded as useless. Being forced back to DC might not be as impossible as he’d imagined. Traumatic yes, _fuckup, fuckup, fuckup,_ but it might take him one step closer to her and for that he would put up with anything. 

Doc had presented him with a small travel kit that she prepared for the guys she brought back. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, comb, sample size bottles of shampoo, body wash and deodorant. There was even a little can of shaving cream and a disposable razor. She’d held it out and said it was his. No one would touch it or take it, he could do what he wanted with it. He’d finally taken it and held it awkwardly. His. He didn’t have things – possessions. His first thought was to toss it, but he knew she’d have a fit which would lead to more talking. 

Then there was a dark brown canvas backpack. Inside he found a pair of sleep pants, two pair of socks and underwear, another sweater and a button down shirt. A pair of jeans rested on the bottom. _Clothes,_ he stroked the soft blue plaid sleep pants absently. She was going to expect him to wear clothes all the time. Well, he smiled to himself, this wasn’t sunny California. Even if it was June, it had been chilly last night when they’d got off the plane.

“I had to guess at your sizes.” She was grinning like it was Christmas. “I hope everything fits. Now that you’re here, we can get some things you like.” 

Tony cleared his throat and managed a thank you. Clothes. Living in a condo she wouldn’t have a pool either. His hands clenched in the sleep pants and he blinked back tears. He wanted to go home. Why had she sold him? Then he chuckled. Duh. Of course. Once again he proved he wasn’t good enough.

“Tony?” She touched his arm and he jumped. “What’s wrong?”

“Sorry.” He forced a smile and pushed everything back in the backpack. “Sorry, I… I haven’t had anything of my own for a long… time.”

She squeezed his arm and pulled the sleep pants back out. “It’s ok. Things are going to feel a little strange at first. It will take time to get back into a routine.” She patted his arm and pushed him toward the bathroom. “Go take a shower and we’ll go to bed. I’m just gonna check on Tobias. He’s probably fallen asleep reading again.”

Suddenly panicked, he grabbed her wrist. “No, please.” Flushing with embarrassment, he dropped his head. “I’m sorry Doc. I am, but I …”

“What Tony? Talk to me.” She patted his hand and he let go, flushing more. He’d _grabbed_ her – actually grabbed her. “It’s ok. You don’t want to be alone right?”

“I…yes—no, please, ma’am.” He dropped his head and his hand. She would punish him and without thinking he slipped to his knees. “I’m sorry.” He whispered staring at the carpet.

“It’s alright Tony.” She touched his head. “Come on, get up now. You don’t have to kneel anymore … to anyone.” She brushed her fingers lightly through his hair and after a moment he got to his feet, head still down. “Ever.”

“What happens when you’re alone?” She pulled him over to her bed and they both sat on the edge, her hand resting lightly on his arm. “What does it feel like?”

Ah. Finally with the ‘how does that make you feel’ questions.

He shrugged one shoulder and dug his fingers into the comforter. “Scared. Can’t breathe.”

“I take it this wasn’t’ an issue before you were taken?” She moved her hand to hug him and tried to peek up at his face. “On a scale of one to ten, ten being total panic, how would you rate yourself.”

“Ten. Twelve. Twenty?” He mumbled. “Just thinking about it is ten.”

“And your previous owners allowed this? Put up with this behavior?” He looked up at her in surprise. “I can’t see any slave owner babying a slave to such an extent. You must have coped somehow.”

“No, I…” Tony broke off. “Mistress Michelle kept me with her most of the time.”

“But she couldn’t keep you there all the time. What happened when she didn’t?” 

“Maria was there.” He looked back down. “Maria held my hand and talked to me.”

“Maria was the maid?” Tony nodded without looking at her. Maria was more than the maid. She was his friend. She’d snuck him snacks and they’d watched movies when Mistress was out of town.

“Ok. What about your other two owners?” She hesitated a moment. “If I remember correctly, the first was Garrison Ford? Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Tony gulped. “I really can’t explain it Doc. I just … the stuff they did… I usually don’t remember what happens … when it happens.” He shook his head he couldn’t think about that now. “Locking me up in the dark seems like such a small thing, but …” Tony trailed off, wishing he hadn’t mentioned _them._ She’d want to talk about the training now. “I’m really tired. Can we go to bed?”

“In a minute. What about your second owner. Marissa Mason, I believe. She let you get away with this?”

“I wanna go to sleep.” Tony tried to keep the whine out of his voice, knowing he’d failed by the way she narrowed her eyes. He wasn’t that tired, but he didn’t want to talk anymore. “Look, I’m a fuckup. I accept that now. I’m terrified to be alone. If you… if you don’t want me in here, maybe Agent Fornell will let me sleep on his floor.” Tony really didn’t want to sleep in a room with Fornell, but he needed to stop all these questions before he said something stupid.

“Tony?” She sighed and pulled her arm back, patting his shoulder before getting up. “Alright. That’s enough for today. You’ve really come a long way, I’m proud of you.”

He looked at her in surprise. “What? Why?” How could she be proud of him? All he’d done was whine at her and throw tantrums.

She met his look of astonishment with a smile. “Most kids don’t talk at all for the first few days. I have real hopes for you Tony. You’re gonna be alright. You really are.” She got up and went to the dresser, pulling out a teeshirt. “I think you’re strong. You survived… many don’t.”  


“No. DiNozzo died.” He said under his breath so she wouldn’t hear. “He died in there.”

He knew she hadn’t heard for the simple fact that she ignored it. She would have said something. He had to stop being so stupid.

“If you don’t want a shower, I sure do.”

“Doc?” Tony wanted to apologize without knowing what for exactly. She was so patient with him, barely pushing at all. It wasn’t her fault he was exhausted and saying stupid stuff.

“Change into the sleep pants. I won’t leave you alone Tony. I’ll be right here in the shower.” She pulled the door almost closed and he sat there unmoving for several minutes. 

He undressed and put on the sleep pants, knowing he’d take them off later. Even DiNozzo had slept in the nude. It was comfortable. Folding up the clothes he’d worn, he laid them on the backpack beside the dresser. Now he had a whole pile of possessions to take care of – and she’d mentioned getting more. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited. He had a lot to think about. He’d have to keep his guard up around her, she kept blind-siding him and he opened his mouth without thinking. She would interfere with his plan to find his real Mistress. He couldn’t let any hint of that come out.

He was Fed. No doubt about that. But. He had successfully worn one of DiNozzo’s masks. Not for long, it hadn’t taken long. It had left him emotional and shaky, but he’d pulled it on and _ha ha_ pulled it off. She either hadn’t noticed or hadn’t commented. He’d given her the masks on a silver platter – well except for the last one. It would have been suicidal to mention that one when he’d only just used it. 

It wouldn’t do to use it often, but he knew now could if he had to. It was one of the strongest, usually the base for all layers to fit on. DiNozzo wouldn’t mind if he borrowed it. Maybe he could pass off the emotional upheaval as a reaction to his rescue. Playing dice with a psych—whatever was risky. 

He just wanted to be Fed. Why wouldn’t they let him be?

She would want to talk more today.

He was going to have to come up with a back-story to satisfy her curiosity, the truth certainly wasn’t going to work. It would have to fit with what she knew and what Fornell had told her. 

None of his owners had asked about the others, why did she have to be so difficult? _She’s trying to save you, idiot._ Nodding to himself, he agreed. Whether he wanted saved or not. Funny, he didn’t feel much like a fairytale princess.

She knew a bit about Mistress Michelle, no telling what they’d discussed when she’d decided to sell him. She knew the names of the other two, but Tony was willing to bet neither had spoken to her, certainly not about how they treated him. Ok, he could concentrate on those two. A happy ending wasn’t realistic given that they’d sold him fairly quickly, but he could work around that. It was the training that would be the worst. Maybe he could just say he didn’t remember. _Too drugged to remember._ Yeah.

Mistress Marissa had sold him because they were too near in age. She thought he made her look old. Master Garrison had someone else in his bed, had other uses for Fed. Could work. She’d ask about the whip marks though. Rubbing his face, Tony was beyond tired. He’d think of something convincing. If not, he could give her a little.

He may be Fed, he may be a slave, but he's not stupid.

Smiling to himself, he pulled the comforter off and wrapped it around himself before curling up at the foot of the bed. Closing his eyes, Tony determined to go to sleep before she was out of the shower. He had a lot to learn about his new Mistress. He hoped she wasn’t a morning person.

*|*

The next time Tony woke, the Doc was crouched around him, rocking him like a baby and making shooshing noises. His face was wet and a scream was dying in his throat. Fornell stood in the doorway blocking the light.

“What happened?” He pulled away from her slightly and brushed at his face. “Did I have a nightmare?”

“Sounded like a doozy kid.” Fornell snorted. “You were …” Fornell and the Doc exchanged an entire conversation in a glance and Fornell backed away without a word. 

“Would you make some coffee, Tobias?” The Doc lifted her chin and Fornell nodded his head and went around the corner. The Doc turned her attention back to him and he knew he looked pathetic, slump shouldered and miserable.

“Sorry.” He whispered, taking a deep breath to begin a better apology for waking her. She was still in a tee shirt and underwear. “I didn’t mean—”

“You were begging someone to please stop.” She brushed his hair back and settled onto the carpet, pulling the comforter up around his chin. “You –”

Tony sat up, comforter pooling around his lap, held out a hand to make her shut up. “Don’t…” He rubbed his face again before lifting his head to meet her eyes. “I…”

“What did they do to you Tony?” She stroked down his arm, almost briskly. “It really will help if you talk about it.”

Looking around, he realized it was still very early. The room was lit only by the open doorway. He hadn’t slept long.

“I’d rather forget.” He cleared his throat and gathered his feet under him to stand, but she held him down with one hand on his arm. “Please… Doc, I …” He relaxed against the foot of the bed and sighed in resignation. 

“Same old, same old.” He smiled ruefully. “I’m never good enough.”

“Did they emphasize feelings of inadequacy?” Tony looked up at her in surprise. Her voice had gone all professional. “Was there more verbal abuse than physical? Talk to me Tony.”

Tony frowned and shook her hand off his arm. “I…” Taking a deep breath, he looked at the bathroom door. “Do I have permission to take a shower …Doc?” He got to his feet ignoring her hand and folded the comforter, laying it on the edge of the bed. He half turned at her soft gasp. She’d seen him naked when he bought her, what could be the big deal now. 

“Yes of course.” She scrambled to her feet and pulled on the robe that had slid to the floor beside the bed. “Tony… “ He strode to the door and pushed it the rest of the way open, but didn’t turn around. “We’ll… make a short stop so you can pick out a few things… clean clothes and better shaving supplies…” 

“Thank you … Doc.” Tony shut the door carefully and leaned against it. This was going to be harder than he thought. She wouldn’t let him be just Fed. She was going to force him to make decisions. He wasn’t supposed to have to make decisions. It was a whole minute before he realized he’d shut the door and he was alone. 

With a soft cry, he jerked the door open and stood there a moment, gasping for breath. Tony turned on the shower as hot as he could stand it.

*|*


	8. Chapter 8

*|*

She’d left him sitting at the table, windows behind him facing the door, file folders and papers scattered about. He was supposed to be comparing things with Fornell’s files, but he couldn’t concentrate. Mostly she wanted him to be involved, to want to find Anthony DiNozzo. He couldn’t … he wasn’t Anthony DiNozzo and there was no point in pretending he was—or wanted to be for that matter. But he doubted she’d give up anytime soon.

On the one hand it chafed at him that he couldn’t do the one thing he knew she wanted, but he couldn’t do this. They’d shown him, explained it all over and over until he understood. DiNozzo didn’t exist—he was just Fed. 

He’d fail and she’d be disappointed. He’d been taught to please, not just to obey orders and sometimes that meant anticipating—knowing without being told. Oh, he knew alright. She wanted him to embrace his past, but it wasn’t that easy. DiNozzo was … dead. He was part of the _before._ Before they broke him and changed him, erasing any path back. Erasing any want or need to go back. Broken was … broken. Humpty-Dumpty broken. He didn’t have the pieces anymore, couldn’t make her understand that. He was happy now, happier than Anthony DiNozzo Junior had ever been, even if _he_ was a very special agent. Besides, Anthony DiNozzo wasn’t even a whole person, just as fake as any character in a Thom E. Gemcity book.

He watched Fornell prowl around the conference room, too nervous to sit for long. Tony had tried to ignore him and the hushed calls in the corner of the room, but Fornell’s eyes strayed back to him often. Tony kept his hands in his lap, tracing a particular knot-hole in the table top with his eyes. There was no reason to look at the file or the pictures of… of _him._ He wasn’t that man anymore – he was never going to be that man again. This was all a monumental waste of time.

She’d gone back in the main office to take a phone call and then he’d heard the voices, heard HIM. Gibbs was here. Gibbs would drag him back and … Tony shook his head. No, his new Mistress wouldn’t send him away already would she? 

His hands clenched pressed tight over his ears, trying to block the voices out, Tony rocked back and forth on the chair. Fornell stopped pacing to listen, head cocked to the side, hands braced against the back of a chair. It wasn’t five minutes before he snorted out a laugh, gave Tony an unreadable glance and walked through the door leaving him alone. Alone.

Tony’s head dipped farther and he started to moan softly, rocking harder. _No. No. NO._ He was alone. They’d left him alone. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to turn, look up and out the window. It was broad daylight, nothing was going to happen. No one would find him here and put him back in the cage. He was safe. He was. His Mistress wouldn’t let anyone—”

“DiNozzo, get your … get out here this instant!”

Choking out a cry, Tony half slipped – half fell to the floor into a low kneeling position. Wanting to press his hands over his ears, he knew better and forced them onto his thighs, curled open like he’d been taught, but he couldn’t stop the voices or the shaking. 

_**‘DiNozzo! Nothing but a damn fuckup... damn fuckup… damn fuckup... damn fuckup...’**_

“No. No… Stop it, please stop it.” Tony whispered , screaming inside his head.

_**‘... damn fuckup… damn fuckup... damn fuckup...’**_

“DiNozzo! Front and center!”

“Stop!” Where was his Mistress, why was she letting Gibbs keep saying those lies, hurting him like that? “Please.” Slowly he became aware of other voices speaking and that the door had opened.

_****_

_NOTE: This is where we connect back to the end of chapter 5_

*|* 

“Hello.” DiNozzo murmured, pressing against Dr. Winters, like a small child seeking comfort. Gibbs saw him dart a glance toward them, not making eye contact with anyone.

“I’ll just make some phone calls and let you get reacquainted.” She gave DiNozzo a gentle push toward them and took one step away.

“No!” DiNozzo grabbed her arm to stop her and then let go seemingly aghast that he’d dared touch her again without permission. “No, please Mistress—Doc… please … don’t leave me alone with these people.” He pleaded with her, ignoring them. Gibbs growled and DiNozzo flinched, crowding against her.

Dr. Winters gave him a solemn look for a full minute before putting her hand atop his on her arm and asking gently. “Tony, do you know who ‘these people’ are?”

Gibbs waited impatiently, hands clenching and unclenching while Tony ducked his head, shaking his head slightly no, then looking up at her and whispering brokenly. “His…his old team.”

"These people are your friends and colleagues, Tony. You worked for NCIS for over ten years. Jethro Gibbs was your boss the entire time, so tell me, is there a reason why you’re uncomfortable with being alone with them?”

Tony darted them another quick look and then stared at his shoes some more. They were nice shoes, shiny even, but he stood stiff and uncomfortable, like they were too new or too tight. Gibbs leaned closer when he mumbled softly, leaning his forehead against the Doc’s shoulder turning his face in. “ _His_ people, Doc. Not mine.”

Dr. Winters sighed and wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulder and gave him a quick hug, ignoring Gibbs and the flabbergasted people across the room. “Tony.” She admonished. “Give them a chance.”

“He _is_ someone else. Someone—not me.” Gibbs heard that clearly and growled under his breath. What had those people done to his Senior Agent? He would find them and… and… he _would._ There wouldn’t be a trace of evidence left behind either.

“No. What did we agree on this morning?”

DiNozzo shrugged one shoulder and when no one said anything, he spoke in a soft, sing-song voice. “Anthony DiNozzo was stolen by monsters and tortured until he was transformed into the slave called ‘Fed’.” 

Dr. Winters met his eyes and sighed. Gibbs could only growl again. This was getting ridiculous. Somehow he’d lost control. He was beginning to realize fixing DiNozzo might not be as easy as he’d thought. 

Abby made a sobbing noise and pushed past McGee to run from the room. DiNozzo looked up curiously, careful not to catch anyone’s eye. 

I’ll just…” No one answered and McGee followed Abby, closing the door carefully behind him.

“I’ve had enough of this garbage. DiNozzo, your ass was mine for over ten years, if you belong to anyone, you belong to me.” Gibbs knew his voice was harsh, impatient even and he didn’t give a rats’ ass what Fornell or this Doctor what’s-her-name thought. No one was taking DiNozzo away when they’d just got him back. All the kid needed was time with people and places he was familiar with and he’d be fine. Back to his stupid practical jokes and sometimes convoluted insights that usually showed up via an obscure television or movie reference. 

Gibbs’ musings crashed to a halt when DiNozzo tipped his head to the side and frowned at him in speculation. Without looking at the Doctor, he took two decisive steps forward not seeing her quick grab for his arm and gracefully folded himself into a kneeling position at Gibbs’ feet, head lowered submissively, back ramrod straight.

Thunderstruck, Gibbs opened his mouth to say something, but his mind had gone numb and he stared at the top of DiNozzo’s head, gaping stupidly. For the first time in his life, Gibbs was speechless. This … this wasn’t DiNozzo. Not their DiNozzo. He began to understand the depth of what had been done to his lead agent. 

Memories flooded into his mind, memories of DiNozzo in happier times, memories from … before.

Restless. DiNozzo’s body was barely able to contain the restless energy that kept him constantly in motion. He didn’t just walk into a room, DiNozzo made an _entrance,_ filled it with his presence—gauging mood and intent with a glance, putting on the right attitude and expression same way he put on one of those fancy designer suits. He preened and strutted and took over a room with ease.

And yet for all his size, he could sneak and blend and move like a ghost when the situation called for it.

This … pitiful, subservient … _thing,_ was nothing more than a pale remnant of the DiNozzo they all loved. Certainly this was not the same man that had been on his team for the last ten years, his second in command. The person he relied on to keep him on track and pull him back from the cliff-edge of obsession. Depended on to keep them all sane by relieving the tension with some crazy stunt or another. 

Gibbs started blinking rapidly when he realized the dull pang of sorrow that almost floored him – oh nothing like when he’d lost Shannon and Kelly, but the way he was feeling, they may as well have gotten notice of DiNozzo’s death. He was gone and Gibbs began to doubt he could be found and made whole again. The look in his eyes, before he’d knelt… Gibbs sought for a word. Resigned? Accepting? Something like that filled with pain and—

Ducky touched his arm and Gibbs realized several moments had passed and DiNozzo was still kneeling motionless in front of him, waiting for orders. “Get up.” His voice was gruff, thick with _something,_ and he growled to cover it. “Get off the floor DiNozzo and stand up like a man.” Ducky’s hand tightened on his sleeve and Gibbs quelled the urge to jerk away. He wanted to hit something, smash something into smithereens. Unless—was this another game? Was he playing a part for some unknown reason? He’d have to keep an eye on him, watch him closely. No way was he abandoning his SFA – his lead agent to this doctor, no matter how many reclaimed slaves she had under her belt. 

_Slave._ The word tasted bitter in his mouth and made his lips twist in derision. No matter what anyone said, DiNozzo wasn’t a slave … not if he had anything to say about it. And damn anyone who tried to stop him.

“I don’t own you DiNozzo. Nobody does. You got that?” DiNozzo had risen to his feet and nodded silently, eyes on the floor. Gibbs watched as he stepped back, wishing he could see the look in his eyes now. The Doctor grabbed his arm and pulled him back a few inches until he was standing even with her. DiNozzo never made a sound or raised his head. 

Gibbs growled in frustration and just as he was about to demand she release DiNozzo to him, she lifted her chin and made an announcement.

“I think we could all use a break.” She gave them a polite smile, letting her eyes drift over all of them. “I believe there is some merit to your theory of immersing Tony back into his old life, but I need time to weigh all the pros and cons.” Another fake smile and she was tugging DiNozzo toward the door. 

“If I might have a word.” Ducky stepped in front of the door, blocking their exit. “Remember, I am Anthony’s personal physician and I would like to examine him myself.” Ducky gave her a beguiling smile and Gibbs was hard pressed to keep a triumphant grin off his face. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Fornell rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

The Doctor seemed to consider Ducky a moment and then gave him a gracious nod. “Certainly Dr. Mallard. If Tony's agreeable, you’re welcome to use our examination room.” A swift look over her shoulder at Gibbs. “Please get a hotel room and we’ll meet later for dinner. If we come to terms, Tony and I will be ready to leave with you in the morning.” She flashed him an amused grin and Ducky moved out of the way. “Otherwise, I guess we’ll do this again.” Taking DiNozzo with her, she waited for Ducky to follow before closing the door, leaving Gibbs staring after them with a stunned look on his face. 

*|* 


	9. Chapter 9

*|*  
After dinner with a subdued, nervous DiNozzo ignoring their questions, the doctor finally agreed to come to DC, but insisted Tony needed a quiet night to calm down and prepare for the transition. Gibbs had trouble keeping his face expressionless when the Doc had informed DiNozzo they would be going to DC and staying at Agent Gibbs house. DiNozzo had paled, hands clenched together tightly enough for white knuckles. But he’d nodded obediently, never leaving the doctor’s side. 

That night in his hotel room, Gibbs finally gave up on sleep. His mind wouldn’t stop replaying events over and over. Nothing had really changed, DiNozzo still acted like he belonged to the doctor and spoke only when asked a direct question. When Abby hugged him, he’d stood very stiff, blinking in fear over her shoulder at the Doc.

Hell, he’d even tried to tell him quietly how hard they’d been searching for him, but he stared back with a blank expression, before smiling slightly and repeating stubbornly his name was Fed and called him sir, almost as if he knew how much it pissed Gibbs off. 

Gibbs stopped pacing and wanted to smack himself in the head. Of course he knew how much being called sir pissed him off. He was still DiNozzo no matter what name he was calling himself now. DiNozzo was under there somewhere. He just had to find him and jerk a knot in his tail.

*|*

The next morning they met at the Doctor’s parking garage. When they finally agreed on how many cars they were taking, who was riding where and who was driving, Gibbs lost his patience listening to Dr. Winters gave DiNozzo order after order. He finally cracked when she gave DiNozzo ‘permission’ to sit in the back and nap on the long drive home.

“Stop treating him like a damned slave! I think you like giving him orders! Start treating him like a man and he’ll act like one.” Gibbs roared. DiNozzo cringed, taking a step away from the car. “You’re a federal agent—my federal agent—so start acting like it!” He glared at DiNozzo who refused to look up.

“Tony.” Pushing at him until he stood straight, she tipped a finger under his chin tilting his head up to look at her, ignoring Gibbs angry choking noises. “Look at me.” Waiting patiently until DiNozzo’s frightened eyes met hers. “If I set you free today, right now this minute, tell Agent Gibbs what you would do.” 

Gibbs almost grinned at the hope in those eyes and watched as DiNozzo leaned toward her eagerly.

“Tony?” Dr. Winters prodded. “Have you changed your mind?”

“Mistress Pfeiffer.” DiNozzo whispered breathlessly. “She’s not in jail? Oh yes please, please let me go to her. She would take me, I know she would.” Tony hedged. “You don’t want to use me and I… and she…”

Pfeiffer? That was who had him? He had a name now. Gibbs heart fell but he smiled grimly. He would be taking care to visit this Pfeiffer woman, maybe take Ziva with him. No way would Tony go back to this woman to be _used_. It wouldn’t take much to get the rest of her name out of DiNozzo. Musing, he almost missed what she said.

“You see Agent Gibbs? Unless I retain full control over Tony, he will either return to his last Mistress or find someone willing to play that role.” Her eyes flashed at him and he pressed his lips together angrily but held his peace. For now. “Tony, you know I can’t let you go back. For now, you belong to me.”

“Yes Doc.” DiNozzo nodded dejectedly seeming to collapse in on himself and Gibbs’ hands itched to shake some sense into him. “I won’t run away from you. But.” He gave Gibbs a nervous look. “You can’t abandon me with them either.” 

“Oh Tony.” Reaching for his hand, she squeezed it and ignoring Gibbs completely. “I won’t leave until Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo tells me he’s fine on his own.”

“So. That would be …never.” Tony grinned and Gibbs was amazed at how it transformed his face. He looked so much like the old DiNozzo, his throat tightened. 

The Doctor grinned back and leaned in to press a kiss to his temple annoying Gibbs to no end. Rubbing at the lipstick mark, she smiled warmly at DiNozzo and he knew she’d already become attached. She wouldn’t let him go easily, but Gibbs didn’t care, DiNozzo was his. The Doctor would eventually leave and DiNozzo would stay. No matter how long it took, things would go back to the way they were before.

Rolling his eyes, Gibbs got in the driver’s seat. “Better be a damn sight sooner rather than later.”

*|*

Gibbs pulled into the Navy Yard and parked beside Ducky’s car. “Wait.” He half turned in the seat when seatbelts clicked and doors started popping open. “We need to discuss how we’re gonna handle this.” Gibbs let out a frustrated sigh. He’d been thinking on the way home but had no good answers. “I don’t trust that doctor.”

“I think Anthony would be best served to spend a little time with each of us, one on one as it were.” Ducky met Gibbs’ eyes calmly, then glanced around at the others. “He’s scared, rather terrified it seems, of being with us so perhaps we should give him a few days to settle in.”

“But why is he afraid of us Ducky?” Abby wailed from the backseat. She’d managed to wipe off most of the streaked make-up on the drive back, only to burst into tears a few minutes later. “We didn’t torture him.”

“Last night at dinner, when Anthony managed to look up from his plate, the only person he looked at was Jethro.” Ducky settled back in the seat and started checking his pockets for a handkerchief to clean his glasses. “He watched Jethro like a bird watches a cobra. He was tense, frightened and fascinated all at once. Like he was waiting for Jethro to jump over the table and attack him. I’m reminded of a—”

“Bossman didn’t hurt him.” Abby was still confused. “None of us would hurt him.”

“Anthony may have had a very thick skin, but eventually even a rock is worn away.” Ducky polished his lenses carefully.

“What are you talking about?” McGee leaned forward to confront Ducky. “I certainly didn’t hurt Tony. I never hurt anyone.”

“Think back to the day he disappeared.” Ducky folded the handkerchief and replaced it in a pocket. “Jethro, what happened that day?”

“I don’t remember Duck.” Gibbs dropped his eyes. “We probably had a case.” He knew exactly what happened. He saw it over and over again in his nightmares. “What does this have to do with anything?”

“Jethro.” Ducky chided.

“It… it was that kid.” McGee said slowly, eyes inward. “ Where all we found were some scraps of cloth and … little bones.”

Gibbs closed his eyes and groaned. “He pulled a stupid prank, like always. Acting like a dumbass to make us laugh.” It would have been sacrilege to laugh over the body of that poor child. “Wrong time, wrong place.”

“And.” Ducky leaned against the door and glared at Gibbs. Perhaps it would have been a better idea to talk to Gibbs in private, but it was too late now.

“We all … we all got mad at him… said some things.” McGee rubbed his mouth. In the face of Tony’s disappearance, he’d forgotten about that.

“I always yell at DiNozzo.” Gibbs’s face gave nothing away. “That’s nothing new.”

“You don’t usually tear him a new one in the bullpen in front of everyone.” Ducky said. “But that isn’t all that matters. “Things were going wrong long before that. And no one made the least effort to stop it, not even me.”

“What … what do you mean?” McGee leaned forward again to better see Ducky’s face. “I don’t know…”

“You and Ziva ganged up on him all the time.” Gibbs growled twisting to glare at them. _And you let them. You thought it was funny._

“We… I…no …” McGee stammered. “If you don’t stand up to Tony, he’ll run right over you.”

“Tim.” Abby narrowed her eyes at him. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” McGee denied hotly. “Besides, Ziva—”

“You’re just as much at fault, Abigail.” Ducky sighed. “When Jethro was in Mexico, none of you supported his being in charge. Do you know he had to do most of his old job and Jethro’s? Because you didn’t step up and take over the lead agent duties, Timothy.”

“He never said a word.” Gibbs frowned at Ducky then slid his eyes around to McGee in the backseat.

“Why are you yelling at me and not Ziva!” McGee fidgeted. “She’s just as much to blame as me. Even Abby—”

“I left him in charge!” Gibbs roared, glaring at McGee and Abby who had pressed her lips together. “I expected you to treat him like you treat me and do what he damn well told you.”

“That certainly didn’t happen.” Ducky chuckled sourly. “It was mutiny from day one.”

“McGee?” Gibbs focused the full brunt of his glare on the younger agent. “Why am I finding out about this now?”

“Um. I… Abby made him wear a nametag that said trainee!” McGee pointed at her.

“He was trying to be you Gibbs. Nobody can be you.” Abby huffed and bounced in the seat. “Besides, one time Ziva and Timmy turned off the –.” Abby slapped a hand over her mouth and turned big eyes on McGee whose own eyes had widened alarmingly.

“What?” Gibbs smelled blood in the water. “What did you and Ziva turn off, McGee?”

“Nothing, Bossman!” Abby backtracked, waving her hands wildly. “It was nothing. Something else… something not about Tony…”

“Shut up Abs.” Gibbs said absently, keeping his eyes on McGee. “Talk to me McGee. May as well get it out there with the rest of the confessions.”

“Um.” McGee looked around desperately for escape. “It was nothing Boss.” He said faintly. “No big deal. We uh. That is Ziva and I… sort of turned the mic off when Tony was…” 

“What case was this?” Gibbs interrupted, barely hanging onto his temper. 

“You remember Gibbs.” Abby stared at McGee. “Some wacko wanted to blow up a little league game … that talk show guy and his guest… Daniels I think… they were shot while on the air and Tony had to go door to door trying to get a voice print so I could match it up.” 

“Abby, you promised!” McGee strangled the words. _“You promised.”_

“I’m still waiting to hear exactly what happened.” Gibbs grumbled. “You turned off the mic?”

“Tony was his usual obnoxious self. He just kept talking and talking and he was so annoying Boss.” McGee tried to explain. “It was taking forever. And then he started singing between houses. We couldn’t take any more. And me and Ziva… Ziva and I … we agreed… “

“So you turned off the mic while your partner was out knocking on doors searching for a terrorist? And neither of you thought there was anything wrong with that?” Gibbs shouted and McGee cringed back against the seat. “You know better than that! Both of you know better than that!”

“Am I to understand you left Anthony without backup, Timothy? Just because you were tired of listening to him talk? He was annoying?” Ducky closed his eyes. “I remember that case now, Anthony lost his voice.”

“Do you even understand …” Gibbs broke off, too angry to speak. “Why do you think I bothered to send backup with DiNozzo? Did you think I decided you two didn’t have anything better to do?”

“Boss, we—” McGee still hadn’t learned how to lie or perfect a poker face to cover guilt. He had a lot to learn from DiNozzo. “We never meant—” 

“No.” Gibbs shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it now. You do realize he could have brought the both of you up on charges?” Gibbs rubbed his face, imagining what could have happened. “If anything had happened to DiNozzo… At the very least, you would have been fired. If he’d been killed…” Gibbs let out an angry huff. “… you both would have been charged with negligent homicide.” At Abby’s loud gulp, he turned to look at her. “And you… Abbs… you knew and you didn’t tell anyone? You could have been charged as an accessory. I don’t understand… you all work for a federal agency. You know the laws. You—“

“Boss! No! He wasn’t— We would have—“ McGee’s ears turned from pink to a dull red. Hmm, curious. He’d never really noticed how often McGee’s voice turned into a whine. “We wouldn’t have let anything happen to Tony. Besides, nothing happened.”

“Tony was mortified when Ziva told him. He didn’t say a word, but I could tell.” Abby interrupted. “Just like that dinner party she had and invited everyone but him. She can be so heartless sometimes.”

“You would have what Timothy?” Ducky asked curiously, ignoring Abby’s comments. “Did you even think to check on him once in a while? This is just another point against us. Honestly, Jethro… even when Anthony is made whole again, I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t come back to NCIS. I really wouldn’t.”

“No!” Abby wailed. “He’s our Tony. He has to come back. We’ll be better. We’ll take better care of him. We will. Promise. Pinky promise.” Gibbs ignored her extended hand.

“This isn’t over McGee.” Gibbs gave McGee a dark glance. “Me and you and Ms. David are going to sit down and talk about this. You both might find yourself back at FLETC. At the very least.”

“The point is…” Ducky sighed. “Anthony has been ignored, picked-on, and treated like he has no feelings…”

“I treat them all the same.” Gibbs glared at Ducky, jaw tight. “I’m their boss, not a camp counselor.”

“When was the last time you told him he did a good job? Can you even remember? Any of you? Don’t give me that look, Jethro. He lived for your praise. Went over and above and beyond. He didn’t need medals or accommodations, a smile would have made him happy.” He waited for Gibbs to open his mouth to answer and then said. “I’ve heard you tell Abigail, Timothy and Ziva. I’ve never once heard you tell Anthony. Is he so much less than they are?”

“Tony’s a screwup.” McGee huffed, talking fast to turn the subject away from himself. “We all know that. Doesn’t mean he’s not our teammate. Boss, you know he played around more than he worked. Owww!” Rubbing his arm where Abby punched him, he scooted as far away from her as possible. “What’d you do that for?”

“DiNozzo did more work than you and Ziva put together.” Gibbs shook his head. How had he missed all this? “He did his paperwork and most of mine. He did your reviews. He… he’s the best agent I’ve ever trained.” Gibbs added, looking McGee square in the eye. “Bar none.”

“You let him do our reviews!” McGee sucked in a shocked breath. “What… I mean why…”

“It’s part of the job.” Gibbs measured the distance between his hand on the back of the seat and the back of McGee’s head. It would keep. “Which you would have known if you’d taken over his SFA responsibilities when I was gone. Do you understand now why you’re not my SFA? Tony still holds that position and will. Now then. What else went on that nobody bothered to mention?”

“That might be best saved for another time.” Ducky said primly. “Suffice it to say, we were all a little remiss in treating Anthony like he should have been. We can sit here all night and accuse each other, there’s plenty of blame to go around. Anthony needs us to pull together right now and we need to concentrate on his needs.”

“Tony knows we love him.” Abby spoke up. “He’s like a big brother—”

“Does he?” Ducky asked sharply. “We seem to be going in circles. We’re back to the beginning. Anthony is afraid to be alone with us in a room in broad daylight. What does that tell you about his feelings toward us, Abigail?”

“He’s been brainwashed!” Abby answered hotly. “He’s not thinking straight!”

“You think the… monsters who tortured him spent time coercing him to be afraid of us?” Ducky started to roll his eyes but pulled his glasses off and rubbed them instead. “No, I’m afraid we did that all on our own.” 

“He’s not afraid of us.” Gibbs slammed his hand on the center console, making the others jump. “That doctor woman—”

“She’s hardly conditioned him in two days Jethro. Why would she do that?” Ducky gave in and rolled his eyes. “Jethro, really…”

“More like three.” McGee said and wished he’d remained quiet when all eyes turned on him. “Well. Uh…” He shook his head and looked away.

“He doesn’t want to be our Tony.” Abby wiped her eyes again. “Whoever is to blame, that’s the result. He only came back because Dr. Winters made him. He didn’t want to see us… I don’t think he even missed us.” Her voice broke and she dropped her head into both hands. “He wouldn’t let me hug him.”

“Abby.” McGee said softly, touching her arm. “It’ll be alright. Between all of us, we’ll get Tony back. We have to.” Abby threw herself across the seat and into his arms. “We have to.” He repeated into her hair giving Gibbs a defiant look over her shoulder.

“Timothy is correct.” Ducky nodded. “We need to be prepared to do whatever it takes. We all treated Anthony poorly, I suspect that’s at least the reason he didn’t try to fight his conditioning. He doesn’t want to be DiNozzo – he doesn’t want to come back to NCIS, to us and _wanting_ is half the battle.”

“Then we make him want to be here, with us. Besides, I still don’t trust that doctor. She’s too pleased with herself when DiNozzo … kowtows to her. Maybe she wants to keep him.” Gibbs shook his head and looked away from the backseat. Better McGee deal with a sobbing Abby than him. “I don’t care how many kids she’s ‘fixed’…” Gibbs made quote marks in the air and Ducky grinned at him. “DiNozzo is … ours.” _Mine._ He’d almost said it aloud. 

“We will all keep a weather eye on her and on Anthony’s progress.” Ducky gave Gibbs a commiserating look. “I know how you feel about your agents, Jethro.” He added softly so the others in the backseat didn’t hear. They were whispering to each other anyway.

“They’re family.” Gibbs whispered. He didn’t need to tell them, they should know. DiNozzo should know. “It was just DiNozzo and me for … for…” Gibbs’ voice shook and he stopped. “We only had each other to depend on in the field. He had my six. I had his.”

“Yes, yes. I think of Anthony as family too.” Ducky patted Gibbs’ arm. “But we let him think we didn’t see the real man underneath his childish antics and eventually we didn’t even look. We let this happen and it’s up to us to fix it.”

“I don’t know about you Duck, but I’ve had enough of this emotional crap for one day. I need to get home before that doctor gets there with DiNozzo. I doubt dropping off Fornell will slow her down much.”

“So we are agreed, we’ll all set aside a day, a weekend, at least some time to spend alone with Anthony when he is able? You’ll tell Ziva?” Ducky waited until each of them nodded and he got out of the car. “I’ll be over in the morning, Jethro to see how Anthony’s first night went.”

“We’ll keep in touch this weekend, Boss.” Abby gave him an impromptu hug and walked around to stand beside McGee.

“Yeah Boss.” McGee fished in his pockets for his car keys as Gibbs pulled away watching them standing there, Abby’s hand lifted in a desultory wave as they got smaller and smaller in his rear view mirror.

*|*


	10. Chapter 10

*|*

Gibbs pulled into his driveway, switched off the key and popped the seat belt all in one practiced motion. He was surprised he’d managed to beat the Doc and DiNozzo, but maybe Fornell had slowed them down. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes, failing to rub away the headache from hell. He checked the time and realized the trip home had taken almost nine hours including the time at the Navy Yard parking lot. No wonder his head was pounding. Traffic had been horrendous and he’d had to limp along at the speed limit. They’d only stopped for gas and snacks so he was starving. Maybe he should order some takeout.

Scrubbing his face with both hands, he heard the little beep of his phone, signifying a message. Leaning his head back against the headrest, Gibbs closed his eyes and let out a heartfelt groan. That better not be the Director with a new case. It had been an emotional few days and he was tired and achy from holding it all in. Damn Doc, damn DiNozzo. If he ever got his hands on the bastard that started this – the son-of-a-bitch that paid – _actually paid_ – to have his SFA kidnapped and brainwashed… a simple sniper shot would be too easy. Not that he wouldn’t die, he’d fucking die alright, just not in a hurry.

Fucking government shouldn’t allow slavery anyway. Hadn’t they fought a war to stop it once? Greedy bastards, all of them. Probably collected some sort of slave tax he never heard of. With another groan he pulled his phone out of the cupholder and swiped at it until the message came up. 

_Stopping for dinner at Marcel’s in Foggy Bottom. Join us if you wish._ The message was dated an hour earlier and he figured they’d be done eating by the time he got there. He sighed and tossed the phone on the passenger seat. Damned Doctor was already trying to weasel him out of the picture. Well, that wasn’t gonna happen. 

Starting the car, he pealed out of the driveway and grabbed the seatbelt, snapping it in halfway down the street. She’d find he wasn’t so easily detached from DiNozzo as she’d hoped. He was gonna stick to the kid like glue. The engine roared as he swerved around some silver foreign thing and floored through a barely-red light.

 

*|*

 

Dinner had been long and mostly silent, interspersed with moments of stilted conversation. They were only halfway through their meal, but when Gibbs stalked in the Doc had been holding out a forkful of some fancy chocolate cake and to his astonishment, DiNozzo had leaned forward and nearly swallowed the fork.

“What the hell?” He’d growled out and the Doc turned stony eyes at him. DiNozzo jumped a foot, but didn’t meet his eyes. Jerking a chair out, he sat down on the other side of the table and growled “coffee” at the hapless waiter. “DiNozzo are you a baby that has to be fed.”

“On the contrary Agent Gibbs.” The Doc ignored him and scooped up another forkful of desert. “Tony is being rewarded for eating his entrée by himself.”

“He’s not allowed to fucking eat by himself?” Gibbs grabbed the coffee cup out of the waiter’s hands and drank half of it in one go. “That’s just insane. I’ve had about enough of this crap.”

The Doc smiled at Tony and swirled the fork around the plate in front of her, before licking the fork clean. “Agent Gibbs, I think we need to sit down and talk. Obviously you didn’t read much of the file Fornell gave you.” Holding out another forkful to Tony, she frowned slightly when he glanced at Gibbs and shook his head. “In a regular slave household, Tony would not be allowed to eat at the table or with the family except on special occasions. If he was in favor, he would be treated like a well-loved pet. If not,” she shrugged and handed Tony his napkin. “…if not, he would be treated like a stray, mangy cur caught sneaking into the garbage cans.”

Gibbs opened his mouth to lambast the doctor when he caught sight of Tony. His SFA’s arms were wrapped around himself and his eyes were clenched tightly shut. “Please.” He whispered and Gibbs’ anger evaporated. He didn’t know what had upset DiNozzo, but he figured he was at least part of the problem. 

“You ‘bout done?” He asked, making an effort to keep his voice level and gulped down the rest of his coffee. Without waiting for an answer, he stood and threw some bills on the table. “Let’s go. DiNozzo looks tired.” After a searching look at Tony, she nodded and dropped her napkin on the table.

“I’ll follow you if that’s ok.” She murmured and handed the waiter a credit card. Gibbs left to pace around the parking lot. He couldn’t stand being around them for ten minutes, how the hell was he going to survive with her in his house, treating DiNozzo like some kind of … of… He didn’t know what.

 

*|*

 

Finally, in his entranceway, Gibbs wearily dropped the bag he was carrying and shrugged out of his jacket. Still clenching his jaw in anger, he waited impatiently for the others to follow him in.

“Doc, guestroom is first door on the left.” He gestured toward the stairs with his head. “DiNozzo, you can bunk on the couch til we figure something out.” He started for the kitchen and the cold beer he’d been dreaming about for the last three hours.

“Tony will be sleeping in my room.” Dr. Winters announced starting up the stairs. “Bring my bag please, Tony.”

“No. That’s not happening.” Gibbs turned around and his face shut down. Tony stopped with one foot on the steps to look at him curiously. “DiNozzo is not your property or your pet or your lover. I’m sick of the way you treat him. He is not sleeping with you.” Gibbs tried to keep the anger out of his voice and knew he failed.

“Fine.” She shrugged, continuing up the stairs. “Then he’ll be sleeping with you.”

“What?” Gibbs seemed nonplussed, not expecting that answer. Tony waited patiently, watched him, letting the Doc walk on ahead. “No!” Gibbs darted him a look and he ducked his head a millisecond after their eyes met. “He’s a grown man, not a child. He’s slept by himself most of his life.”

The Doc stopped suddenly turning to glare down at Gibbs, letting her briefcase bang into the wall. “This man was kept in a dog crate in a dark closet for hours on end where he couldn’t see or hear anything, for punishment… sometimes just because they were bored or busy.” She snapped out each word like a bullet and Gibbs took a step back. “He is therefore … _uncomfortable_ being alone in the dark. Are we clear here _Agent_ Gibbs?” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Gibbs transfer his glare from the Doc to him and he tried to shrink into invisibility against the wall, but with a suitcase in one hand and her laptop and his backpack slung over the other shoulder, it was clearly impossible. Flushing hotly, he wished the Doc could have handled his very justified fear of the dark while he was somewhere else. Somewhere not alone, but preferably not in front of Gibbs.

“Come along, Tony.” Tony gave Gibbs a miniscule shrug and went up the stairs, Gibbs glare burning a hole in his back all the way. 

 

*|*

 

Tony stood naked in front of the mirror, studying his reflection. Water dripped down his face and he rubbed it with the towel Gibbs had laid out for him. In a minute he’d dry off and put on the sleep pants the Doc made him wear to bed – mandatory if he slept in her room. The door was wide open, he had nothing to be bashful about. One of the few good things the Circle had done was sculpt his muscles into something to be proud of and the golden tan he could thank Mistress Michelle for.

Twisting his head from side-to-side, he noted the pale circle where his old collar had rested was still too many shades away from his tan. He felt naked without it. He’d thought of it as his, until it had been ripped from his neck – well figuratively anyway. Didn’t matter, he thought resolutely, he’d soon have another.

Taking in the fading scars and new laugh lines around his eyes, he wondered for the first time where _it_ had ended up. They’d showed him the impossibly tiny tracking chip they’d injected into his blood stream. They’d told him it would travel around his body and lodge in his brain, just in case he thought about running away or cutting it out. Won’t even show up on airport security scans, they’d bragged. Once inside the Circle, there was no way out. 

He’d never be able to disappear like he’d threatened the Doc. But hadn’t planned on it – had never planned on it. He wondered if the Doc was a registered owner or if goons were going to storm the house and drag him back. Back where, he wondered. Maybe the training center. His lips quivered and he bit them to stop. He could confess, but what could they do? Ducky might have sophisticated enough equipment to find the chip, but he wasn’t letting anyone operate on his brain. 

A frown marred the face in the mirror. That’s another thing, he didn’t think that even as small as the chip was, it couldn’t break the blood-brain barrier. He could look that up too, when he got access to a computer. In any case, no one was going to go digging around hunting for it. Maybe his real Mistress had already contacted the Circle and was looking for him. 

The frown smoothed into a bashful smile. They’d refused to tell him her name. A slave didn’t need to know their owners name. If they wanted to tell them, they would. He’d spent hours in the cage coming up with exotic names for her, one of the few things that allowed him to hold on to his sanity. She would be beautiful of course. And love him to pieces. Spoil him terribly and he’d do anything she asked. Anything. At her feet or at her side, they’d be together forever. Happily ever after.

Straightening his shoulders and lifting his chin, Tony stared at his reflection resolutely. He had a goal. His plan of attack might need more work, but he had time. He had to make them believe he was ready to be DiNozzo, get more freedom and find her. He would learn to be alone, if it killed him. Right now he felt it might. But.

This would be harder than any undercover op DiNozzo had ever faced. He would take time to think and plan and practice, before he pulled on the famed DiNozzo mask and escaped.

“Tony, you about finished in there?” The Doc called from across the hall. 

“Coming.” He winked at his reflection. At Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo Jr. Game on.


	11. Chapter 11

~*~ 

Tell me about when you were taken. Can you do that Tony?” She patted the couch in Gibbs’ den and he shook his head resignedly before slumping beside her. “Close your eyes and think back. Tell me your most vivid memory.” At least she’d waited until Gibbs had left for work so there was no other witness to his shame. He tried and failed to ignore the tape recorder on the table. She’d switched it on and stated the date, naming the subject Anthony DiNozzo. Watching the reels go round and round, he swallowed heavily and pretended he was okay with it. Failing to convince himself, he wondered how soon he could sneak in here and erase the recording – as if that would somehow erase the real memories.

Tony obediently closed his eyes, willing himself to remember, but the voices came out of the dark and he flinched away from them and pressed tightly against her. She was his only anchor to reality and he reached out to clutch her arm tightly. Slowly pulling disjointed memories and impressions back to conscious thought, Tony’s breath was harsh in his ears. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to remember anything… but how could he forget? Some things were burned into his soul and he would never be rid of the stain. Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo had broken. He’d let them break him and if he let the words escape everyone would know—even Gibbs and that … that shamed him. 

 

_“My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave.”_  
“Again.”  
“My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave.”  
“Put some feeling in it this time.”  
“My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave.”  
“Better. Now repeat it until I tell you to stop.”  
“My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave. My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave. My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave. My name is Fed. I’m nothing but a slave.” My name is – “ 

 

He couldn’t stop the sob that exploded out of him and pressed a palm against his eyes to focus on breathing. In. Out. In. Out. He was able to swallow the next sob, and the one after that. 

“Tony? What’s wrong? Take a deep breath and tell me what you remember most.” She patted his hand and he realized he hadn’t spoken the words out loud, but was hurting her and let go of her arm. “Can you open your eyes and tell me what happened? How you become Fed?” 

He wouldn’t let those words escape. Even if they were the truth.

She was patient, he had to give her that. Finally he opened his eyes and began talking in a monotone voice. Not his voice, not DiNozzo’s voice. Just some random someone who might be reading a report and not giving a damn about the people – person involved. It was humiliating, but he was only a slave so what did it matter.

 

“They must have had a file on him, they knew all about him, all his weaknesses.” Tony whispered. “He woke up in a cage, blindfolded and gagged, hands loosely cuffed in front. Totally naked of course. The cage was too small to stretch out in, and he eventually learned the most comfortable position was to lie curled on his side, knees pulled up. The first thing he did was pull the blindfold off, but the room was dark… darker than dark. Like being blind dark.” Tony shivered in remembrance and sighed when her hand found his hair. “And silent. The only sounds were the ones he made.” Arms wrapped tightly around himself, he let himself go back, to remember.

 

_“First offense is the cage. If you don’t learn… eventually then the doctor will come and rip your tongue out…” Mocking laughter filled his ears and he tried to squirm away from merciless, glove-covered hands jerking his harness up. “… and trust me, you’re gonna need that tongue. Without it, your value is nil.” Another heavy jerk and Tony couldn’t stop the whimper. “If that happens, your organs will likely be sold to recoup expenses.”_

_“Please.” Cringing at his begging tone, he gritted his teeth and forced himself not to pull away._

_“They’ll take them one at a time.” Rough leather gloves scraped his skin, abrading already sensitive bruises. “Anesthesia is a waste of money for a worthless slave. So’s food. I imagine there’s a great deal of pain. Doc’ll keep you alive long enough to get buyers on the line. You know they can salvage much more of the human body now-a-days. Why, I’ve seen slaves—”_

_“No!” His tears soaked into the blindfold. “No, please.” He could feel the sharp edge of the knife drawing doodles on his skin and he was afraid. “Please.”_

_“You’re such a pretty boy. I don’t want to see that to happen to you Fed.” The glove-covered hand pushed through his hair and down to curl around the back of his neck. “You’re gonna be a good boy, aren’t you Fed? Gonna behave and take your meds? Gonna follow the rules and not fight? Gonna do your best to please?”_

_“Yes.” Tony nodded furiously, as much as the harness allowed._

_“Yes, what?”_

_“Yes master.” Tony sighed in defeat._

_“Good boy.” A heavy pat on the head. “Good boys get praised and touched and don’t have to spend days in the dark alone, stufFed in a tiny cage. Good boys get to eat real food and stretch out in the sun…maybe even a dip in the pool. But you’ll have to earn it. Can you do that Fed? Can you be a good boy all the time?”_

_In the silence, DiNozzo let go. Just let go and answered in a whisper. “Yes master.”_

_There’s no answer, but he hears the glove pulled off and for the first time in longer than he can remember, he’s touched by actual skin. He can’t help but turn his face into the palm and breathe deeply. Callused fingers explore his face before moving down._

_“Good boy.” The words were like a caress and Tony trembled. Even he didn’t know if it was in fear or pleasure. Not anymore. “I knew you could be a good boy, Fed.”_

 

He was silent for a few minutes and only when she tugged lightly on his hair did he continue. Somehow he’d slid down and tucked his feet up. If only Gibbs could see him now.

“There was no way to tell time, but he figured later it was at least couple days, maybe more… someone came in probably wearing night-vision goggles. He tried shouting, but the gag made it impossible. He fought and tried to kick, but the cage was too small and heavy. He only managed to rock it back and forth. That’s when they stuck the cattle prod between the bars. When he couldn’t move anymore, they clipped something on the side of the cage. Nobody said a word the entire time.”

“When…” Tony swallowed hard and turned his face into her lap. “… when he could move, he found it was some kind of feeding tube, like on a hamster cage. Tasted like crap.” He snorted. “…but he was starved and sucked it dry in a hurry—not easy to do without choking … they hadn’t removed the gag you see.” Tony rubbed at his mouth to wipe away the memory. “Didn’t take long to find out DiNozzo wasn’t getting out of that cage—bodily functions or not. But he knew Gibbs would come, sooner or later.”

She made a small noise and he snorted. “Yeah. Disgusting doesn’t cover it.” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “After the fifth tube… he never saw daylight, so he didn’t know if it was one tube a day or if they fed him twice a day – someone came in and hosed the cage down with ice cold water. You’d think he’d be smart enough to be quiet and not try to shake the cage apart, but…” Shaking his head ruefully, Tony turned back so he could stare out the windows. There was no way he could look at her face while he was telling her this stuff, even if it was about DiNozzo. “Water… rather being wet has a funny effect on electricity.” She gasped and he waited until he was sure she wasn’t going to say anything.

“Yeah. When he came to, he was dry and they’d put the blindfold back. DiNozzo didn’t see the point, it was still dark as hell and just as silent. Apparently someone was watching because as soon as it came off, the cattle prod made an appearance and didn’t stop poking until he got it back in place.” He took a deep breath and then another. Her nails lightly scratched his scalp and he concentrated on that and not his words and the memories they dredged up.

“Why are you referring to yourself as ‘he’?” The Doc asked softly, not wanting to interrupt.

“DiNozzo died in that cage. They told him over and over no one was gonna rescue him. Eventually he realized they were right. Gibbs wasn’t coming and he wanted to live, even if… even if…” Even if he was a fuck-up. Tony wiped his eyes with the bottom of his tee-shirt. “Fed crawled out after what they said was a couple months and was grateful— _thankful_ —for everything. Food, light, sound and the occasional touch.” Not willing to tell her how pathetically grateful Fed really had been, he closed his eyes and willed the memories away. He’d never have to think about that again. Ever. _She_ would make it right, make it all worth it in the end.

“I’m so sorry Tony. I hate what was done to you.” She whispered, fingers gentle in his hair. “It wasn’t fair, you didn’t deserve that. No one deserves that.”

“But Doc— I’m happy. Fed is happy. DiNozzo …” Shaking his head, Tony sat up and moved to face her, one knee folded under him. He had to make her see, make her understand so she would stop pushing at him. He had to explain and then slowly start putting on enough of the DiNozzo mask to fool them. Let her believe she was ‘fixing’ him. It couldn’t happen overnight or she’d never buy it. “He wasn’t happy. His whole life no one wanted him, he grew up with servants and movies as his family. He could fake it with the best of them, but he had no frame of reference.” Giving a sharp sigh at her skeptical look, he took her hands. “Doc… no one ever loved him. No one… he tried so hard to fit in, he had many masks, but the real DiNozzo … he saw love, he saw happiness in others and he wanted it. He wanted it so much.” Tony blinked and dropped his head, shaking it slowly. “Fed was loved – _is_ loved and he’s happy. He can be happy like DiNozzo never could.”

“Tony…” If she couldn’t believe him on this, how was he going to get the rest past her. “… what they did to you wasn’t love. What your owners felt toward you wasn’t love.” She pulled her hands back in frustration. “They lied to you. Told you whatever to make you compliant and obedient. They don’t know what love means!”

They showed me the _truth_ … “ Tony pulled away, folding himself into the corner of the couch. Looking up, he saw a shadow across the half-open door. Great. Gibbs had come back and heard everything. Well, he rubbed the back of his head and smoothed his hair down, he’d only have to tell this once and then he could forget it. Gibbs was unlikely to want to talk about it – or anything else, he chuckled to himself.

“The truth?” She prodded. He could see she was trying to moderate her tone, just enough to keep him comfortable enough to talk to her. “Tony….” She shook her head and he glanced at the doorway again. Surely she’d have stopped if she realized Gibbs was out there. Maybe … maybe Ducky had come in to check up on him. He’d rather Ducky hear this than Gibbs or anyone else. He didn’t mean to repeat it more than once. No matter what they did.

“The truth.” His cheek rubbed against the back of the couch and nodded, keeping one eye on the door. “He had all these masks he wore to keep him safe and hidden, but they showed him Fed didn’t need them. They showed me how to be real. That it was okay to be _me_ – to just be Fed – a slave.” She frowned in annoyance at the awe in his voice, but he saw she was being careful to hide her anger. 

“Did you consider you can be you, Tony DiNozzo … and not a slave?” She leaned toward him, trying to pin him with blazing eyes. “It’s true. No one is born a slave… they’re made.”

“No, that’s… but…” He twisted away and leapt from the couch, to stand at the windows his back to her. “I’m a good boy.” He whispered, one knuckle rubbing at suspiciously wet eyes before she could see. “They showed me… I’m a good boy!”

“They made you.” She insisted. He watched her reflection shake her head and give him a tiny smile. “You were good before, that’s nothing they ‘gave’ you.” He watched her jerk fingers through her own hair in frustration. “You’re a man, Tony. Not a boy. A man who was taken and tortured and brainwashed and right now you’re confused. That’s normal. I’m going to help you find your way. It’s going to be all right.”

“No, you’re wrong… you’re …” He shook his head and stared down at his hands, a white-knuckled grip on the window sill. “I don’t want to talk about that anymore. Can we do something else?”

“Sure.” She clicked off the recorder and Tony turned around to face her, eyes dry. “How about we take a walk? Get some exercise?”

~*~

Blinking rapidly, Gibbs clenched his fists and pressed his whole body against the wall. He couldn’t punch holes in the wall, they’d stop talking and come out here and find him – what? Spying on DiNozzo? Listening to him spill his guts? He couldn’t miss a moment, he had to know if the kid mentioned any names. Until then, he mentally compiled a list of people he was going to kill. Starting with the bastard that took his SFA, not stopping until the last _trainer_ and anyone else that had any part of DiNozzo’s brainwashing.

He’d given justice a chance and Fornell or the FBI one had failed to put a stop to it. He didn’t give a damn about jurisdiction and government regulations. He didn’t give a damn about how big and organized and global the fucking Black Circle was. 

Now that he’d seen firsthand what those bastards had done to DiNozzo… They’d taken a damn fine investigator and turned him into a broken sex-toy. Hell, they’d even got him to willingly repudiate his identity, claiming he was someone else now. Well… he was. But not for long. He’d do what it took to reach inside DiNozzo’s head and pull his SFA out, kicking and screaming if necessary. And it damn well was necessary.

McGee was better than anyone at the FBI. He’d find a link, a name, a lead, something.

Bastards, all of them. Jail was too good for ‘em. Death was too good for ‘em. They deserved to rot in hell and he was just the man to show them to the door. He was a marine and that's what marines did. Took on insurmountable odds and won. They’d never know what hit ‘em.

With a grunt, he pushed away from the wall and slipped out the front door. 

~*~


	12. Chapter 12

~*~

Armed with two coffees, Gibbs nodded at the security guard and made his way through the empty office to his desk. It was 0600 and usually everyone was a bit late coming in on Mondays. He might even manage to get some paperwork done before Ziva arrived. Fury had settled into a nice simmering anger during the weekend and Gibbs had nearly rubbed his hands raw trying to sandpaper the boat into dust. It was either that or kill something. He still wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision. 

By the time she sauntered off the elevator, he was almost finished with the second coffee. Jumping up from his desk, he intercepted her before she could sit down.

“Morning Gibbs.” She said pleasantly, stepping to the left to get around him. “Excuse me.”

Stepping with her, Gibbs shook his head. “We need to talk.”

Ziva glanced up to gauge his mood and then darted a glance at McGee, safely hidden behind his monitor. “Do we have a case? No? I had a great weekend Gibbs and I would love to tell you about it. Let me just –” 

“Don’t care. I want to talk about DiNozzo and …” He glanced at McGee who ducked lower. “I learned a few things the other night. We’ll be talking about those as well. But first – “

Ziva tossed her backpack to the side, letting it slam into her desk. Stepping back, she tossed her head and moved into a defensive stance. “Do not take this the wrong way, Gibbs, but I have no interest in DiNozzo. You should be grateful you got him back. However, he is brainwashed and unable to function as an Agent. End of story.” 

Gibbs clenched the styrofoam cup, felt it start to give under his fingers and dropped it into the nearest trash can. “I want an explanation of your attitude, Ms. David.” Gibbs said through clenched teeth. “Your attitude and certain actions against DiNozzo in the past that have come to light.”

“What?” She huffed. “My attitude? _My_ attitude? What about your attitude? We have wasted enough time on _Very Special Agent DiNozzo._ He is alive and … mostly well. Yet instead of leaving him in the hands of an experienced doctor, you drag him back here and expect us all to babysit him. Yes, Abby has explained your plan in nauseating detail! I want nothing to do with it. I have real work to do. It is demeaning to – ”

“I noticed it before DiNozzo was taken and didn’t say anything. Figured you two could work it out. But I’ve had a little talk with the rest of the team and there’s a few things we’ll be going over one day soon.” Gibbs held her eyes. “But the way you talked about him at the coffee shop when Fornell told us he’d been found…” Gibbs shook his head. “That was beyond explanation. What did DiNozzo ever do to you?” Somehow he felt they were in two different conversations.

“I will never understand why you kept him on the team in the first place. I am the more skilled—” 

“Hold it right there.” Gibbs held up his hand to shut her up before he hit her. “DiNozzo is my Senior Field Agent, has been my lead agent from the beginning, well over ten years. _Is._ Do you understand?” Why he needed to explain himself to her – to anyone was beyond him. “You’re barely out of probie status as an investigator – there’s no way you’re ready to be a lead agent!”

“You call that overgrown frat boy an investigator?” She snorted a laugh. “On a good day, he is clumsy and obsessed with movies! He cannot focus nor can he fight.” She leaned back and looked him up and down. “Or are you thrilled with the way he hung on your every word?” She smirked slyly and behind him he heard McGee choke back a snort.

“DiNozzo’s like a son to me.” Gibbs clenched his teeth and fought the urge to wipe that look off her face. “I _chose_ DiNozzo.” He gritted out. “I chose him in Baltimore and I chose him in Israel. I trust him with my life. When he’s back, he’ll still be my lead agent and if you can’t get that through your thick Mossad head, then you’ll be off my team so fast it’ll make your head spin.” There was no need to yell, no need to glare at the nosy agents standing up for a better view, but he made note of the faces. ”He’s the one that pushed to find you and bring you home. How can you—” 

“I saved your life!” She hissed, leaning toward him, eyes flashing, fists clenching. Just for a moment he fantasized what he would do if she lost control and tried to hit him. _Enough._ She wasn’t the real target, she just didn’t understand.

“Yeah.” Gibbs grunted. “Once. I can’t count the number of times DiNozzo’s had my six. There’s a reason I never replaced him even though the Director has pressured me to do just that for over a year. Why do you think we’ve had all those green little probies following us around?”

“Gibbs, I…” She dropped her eyes in confusion. “He is not… You are being willfully blind!” Gibbs almost laughed, she was going to stomp her foot any second now in a temper tantrum.

“My team, my choice.” Gibbs repeated what he’d told the Director a dozen or more times. “I chose who I trust to watch my back and I trust DiNozzo.”

“He’s not even DiNozzo!” She blurted out incredulously. “He wants to be a slave!”

“You said it yourself, David. He’s been brainwashed. The Doc’ll fix him. We’ll fix him.”

“Well I want no part of this babysitting scheme you have baked up. I—” Her mouth was twisted into a mocking smirk and Gibbs fought for control again.

“As long as you’re on my team, you’ll take my orders.” He left her to take it or leave it.

She opened her mouth to object, then closed it without saying a word. A flick of ponytail and she was stomping off, muttering under her breath in Hebrew. 

“Cooked up. Ziva. Not baked.” Gibbs grinned and turned around to find a dumbstruck McGee watching him overtop his monitor.

“Anything you want to say McGee?” Gibbs raised an eyebrow at him.  
“Uh… no Boss. Nothing at all. I…” McGee stammered and Gibbs knew he was seconds from babbling, he grunted again and headed for the elevator.

“Coffee run.” He called just as the doors closed.

~*~

That night when Gibbs arrived home he found Dr. Winters alone in the den, feet curled up under her, reading a magazine.

“Where’s DiNozzo?” He asked, locking his gun away. “What’s for dinner? Did you order anything?”

Examining him over her glasses, she gave a slight smile. “Before we discuss dinner, I want to make it clear that Tony’s not going off alone with anyone I haven’t interviewed and approved.”

“No one on my team’s gonna hurt DiNozzo.” Gibbs growled. “We care about him. We’re not some impersonal psychiatrist that hasn’t known him a week.”

“Psychologist.” She corrected with a deep breath. “Caring about him and knowing him doesn’t preclude a misstep in his treatment. He’s very….” She let out the breath and frowned. “… I’m afraid until I get a feel for where he is, I can’t let him go off with anyone. Remember—“ She holds up a finger and he frowned heavily. “It was just a few days ago that he was begging me not to leave him alone with you.”

“And you haven’t figured out why yet?” He shook his head and rolled his eyes. Maybe he could look into Todd’s sister. She was one of those therapy people… a psy—something. “Fine. I’ll ask him myself. Where is he?”

“Tony is sitting on the deck, working on his issues with being alone. It’s easier for him in broad daylight.” Taking a folded piece of paper from the end table, she carefully marked her place and set the book aside. “Don’t frighten him. Agent Gibbs. He’s still very fragile, whether or not he looks it.”

“DiNozzo’s strong. You just don’t know him.”

“I daresay I know him better than you. There’s homemade lasagna in the oven. We’ve already eaten.”

“You didn’t have to cook.” He said grudgingly, staring toward the kitchen – and the back door.

“I didn’t.” She chuckled. “Tony’s a great cook.”

Gibbs grunted and went into the kitchen. Finding mitts and a plate ready, he breathed in deep when he opened the oven. He hadn’t smelled anything so good since his last ex-wife catered a dinner for the big shots at her office.

Filling his plate and grabbing a fork, Gibbs went to the backdoor and opened it slowly. “You mind if I sit out here and eat?” He asked before stepping out.

Without looking directly at him, DiNozzo dipped his head to the side and finally nodded. “It’s your deck.” He spoke barely above a whisper and Gibbs pretended he didn’t see the sudden tenseness in his hunched shoulders. “Sir.” It didn’t sound like an insult, but it didn’t sound respectful either. Gibbs chose to ignore it.

“Winters said you made this.” He lifted a forkful of lasagna at DiNozzo and grinned. “It’s pretty damn good.” The kid flushed in pleasure and whispered a thank you. “I’m not about to hurt you DiNozzo. We worked damn hard to find you.” Gibbs took another bite and settled into a lawn chair careful not to block the path to the door if the kid decided to run. “I want you to get better and come back and be my SFA.”

“I don’t know if I can do that, Sir.” DiNozzo darted a glance at Gibbs and broke eye contact immediately. “Why would you want me on your team?” He sounded honestly curious.

“You’re the best agent I’ve ever worked with.” Gibbs spoke with his mouth full and grinned when DiNozzo’s eyebrows flew up. “You’re the only one who’s ever lasted, the only one that gets my moods. The only one I never have to explain things to, over and over.”

DiNozzo blinked at him and finally looked away.

“Why are you afraid of me?” Gibbs concentrated on scraping up every last bit of sauce. “You never used to be afraid. Probably one of the few I couldn’t scare off.” Gibbs chuckled and looked up to see DiNozzo standing. “DiNozzo?” Tony walked to the door and stopped with his hand on the knob.

“One of the reasons DiNozzo broke so quickly …” Gibbs waited patiently as the kid took several deep breaths. “The man he looked up to… the man he’d have given anything to have as his real father… that man convinced him he was nothing more than a fuck up and a worthless...” DiNozzo looked at him then, really looked and Gibbs opened his mouth but no words came out. “You threw him away.” DiNozzo whispered, not hiding the pain in his eyes. “Like he was nothing. You never came for him. You never—” DiNozzo shook his head and opened the door. “Sir.”

“DiNozzo wait.” Gibbs dumped the plate on the deck and jumped out of the chair, but Dr. Winters stood in the doorway blocking his way in the house. “Tony, stop! Rule 51!”

Over her shoulder he could see DiNozzo stop and drop his head. Nodding once, he continued through the doorway in silence.

“Agent Gibbs.” She shook her head determinedly. “You’re going to have to do better than this or Tony and I will be relocating.” Holding his gaze for a few moments she turned and left.

“We’ll see who relocates.” He rubbed the back of his neck and went back to the lawn chair. “We’ll damn well see.”

~*~


	13. Chapter 13

~*~

“Gibbs.” He said shortly, tucking the phone between ear and shoulder, concentrating on the dates in the file open before him.

_“This is Dr. Winters. I’ve interviewed your team members and I have mixed responses. I don’t feel the benefits will outweigh the complications that could ensue.”_

“Mmmhmm.” Gibbs grabbed a notebook and started writing down the dates, listing them in chronological order and tapping the pen against his teeth.

_It would not be in Tony’s best interests to spend a lot of time away from me and the structured environment I’ve setup with him. He’s comfortable with me and forcing him to go off with strangers won’t be conducive to returning him to a functioning mental state.”_

“We’ve settled this already.” Gibbs barked into the phone. “ _We_ aren’t strangers. _We’ve_ known DiNozzo for years – worked with him every day…” His hand clenched around the phone. “I haven’t seen much of you ‘un-brainwashing’ my agent, Doctor. So let’s just agree to disagree about his treatment. I still hold his medical proxy you know.” He said that in a low voice, hoping he wasn’t going to have to play that card.

_“After everything that’s happened to Tony, I believe that proxy has been rendered invalid. In any case, I see no benefits in arguing with you about it.”_ She was silent a moment and he started reading the file again. _“I’ve analyzed the results of my interviews with your team. Do you want to go over my conclusions?”_

“Not particularly.” Gibbs grunted. She wasn’t about to let a lawyer interfere. “Wasn’t planning on paying any attention to them.” He turned over a page and compared it to the first one. Hmmmmm. Something wasn’t right.

Just as he was about to hang up, Dr. Winters let out a sigh and spoke. _“I have no objections with Tony spending a limited amount of time with your team with the exception of Ms. David.”_

Gibbs looked across the bullpen at Ziva. “Why?” He asked tersely. “What’d she say?” Feeling his glare, Ziva glanced up at him and lifted her chin in defiance. After a moment she angled her body away and picked up her own phone.

_“Let’s just say I don’t believe she cares whether Tony was found or not. Or whether he recovers or not.”_ Gibbs pressed his lips together. He’d thought Ziva had been straightened out with their last talk.

“Would she hurt DiNozzo? If given the chance?” DiNozzo could hold his own against Ziva. He’s not sure Fed would even try. “It’s me she’s angry at.”

_“Well, I don’t believe she would physically hurt him, but emotionally… She has a very sharp tongue and she’s jealous and resentful. Right now he’s an easy target.”_ He could hear pages being turned through the phone. _“She would certainly not go out of her way to help Tony.”_

“She can double up with one of the others then.” Gibbs pondered. Who could keep her … no stop her from saying something nasty to DiNozzo in the first place. And what on earth did she have to be jealous and resentful over. “Did she give any reason why she would feel like that?” Gibbs turned away from her and saw McGee looking between Ziva and him curiously. 

_“She refused to answer until I assured her everything she said would be confidential.”_ Dr. Winters sniffed. _“But it looks like no one can live up to Tony in your eyes.”_

“DiNozzo’s the best agent I’ve ever worked with. He’s surprisingly versatile and exceptional under cover.” Gibbs cleared his throat. “He had six years of police experience before he came here. The other two didn’t. That being said, Ziva’s father shaped her into a killing machine when she was still a child and we – I’ve spent years trying to free the real person in there. I honestly didn’t realize how she felt… nothing ever came up until we found DiNozzo. I thought I’d set her straight, but … it seems not.” He gave a heavy sigh and rubbed at the back of his neck with one hand. “ She’s not bad, she’s just been mashed and crammed and forced to fit a certain mold, and now she’s not that person anymore and she doesn’t know how to remold herself into something new.”

_“So neither she nor Agent McGee have the experience to do Tony’s job? Even after he’s been gone for basically a year?”_

“Don’t twist my words doc.” Gibbs snorted. “They’re both still learning. Eventually, at their own pace, they’ll be fine. Wouldn’t be on my team otherwise.”

 

~*~

Alex laid the phone down with a sigh and pulled her notebook closer. She needed to consolidate the answers and make some sort of conclusion in preparation for publication. She’d thought asking just three questions would be quick and simple, not the complicated mess it had turned into.

 

Give me three words to describe Tony?  
How did you and Tony get along before he was taken?  
Do you believe Tony can be restored to his former self?

 

Instead of three short answers, she’d been treated to lecture after lecture. Except for Agent David who spent fifteen minutes explaining why she was there under duress and this wasn’t part of her job. 

Tapping the pencil against the notes from her interview, Alex shook her head in dismay. She didn’t trust the Mossad agent not to help Tony disappear – or even _make_ him disappear. Even after all this time and Tony’s current mental state she was boiling with jealousy. 

Ms. Sciuto seemed to feel Tony was her big brother, meant to protect her and an integral part of her created family and if he could do that while still a slave, she was ok with it. The family thing tied in well with Agent Gibbs determination that Tony was the son he never had – covered in guilt that he couldn’t save his real family nor his SFA. Gibbs however was adamant Tony would be restored and able to work on his team.

Agent McGee didn’t see Tony as a family member at all, but as a close friend. He talked around the issue of slavery without making a definite yes or no statement. He just wanted Tony around.

But the fact was, none of them were willing to see Tony as he was now. All of them believed that they had only to say a magic word, believe hard enough and ‘Fed’ would morph back into their friend as if his capture, torture, brainwashing and months of living as a slave had never happened. Even Agent Fornell believed she could work a miracle when he knew countless torture victims never got past the trauma, let alone those who’d been brainwashed. If he’d been a kid, a teenager even, she’d have the confidence of past successes to lean on. However…

Closing the notebook, she rubbed tiredly at her eyes. She’d counseled victims of Stockholm Syndrome and most never completely rejected indoctrination – the emotional response. The fact was, they wanted to believe. Just like Tony wanted to believe. Like a fairy tale, he wanted the ‘happy ever after’ and felt he’d find that with a Master or Mistress. 

He hadn’t listened when she’d explained he’d never get that from someone who owned him. Ownership didn’t equal love. Even after the disaster of his first Master, he still believed. She didn’t know if that was a Tony thing or something they’d burned in his brain. Rubbing harder at the crease between her eyes she wondered if maybe, just maybe he was still waiting on the person that ordered his captivity and training. She’d have to watch him closely, warn Gibbs that just because that person hadn’t shown up to collect Tony, didn’t mean they never would or that Tony wouldn’t go searching for them.

Tony was an adult, had been a free adult before he was taken and no matter how he separated his mind to deal with it, he was fully capable of striking out on his own. He’d threatened her with running, but he hadn’t. She’d have to find out why he hadn’t run away before. Had he been told to wait. Something…. He was just too sure.

She was afraid what Tony really needed was a 24/7 care facility, completely locked down, the only contact his doctor until she made some headway into his psychosis. He had multiple issues aside from the whole slavery thing. He wasn’t faking it when he believed he was a person named Fed. It was all tied together of course, but even if she convinced him he wasn’t a slave, she was afraid he’d still insist he was Fed and not DiNozzo. She had to know exactly what was done before she could begin leading him back out. But with Gibbs, that was never going to happen.

Slipping her shoes on, she went to the kitchen. She needed a drink.

~*~


	14. Chapter 14

~*~

 

“You know I don’t think this is a good idea.” The Doc reached up and smoothed his hair down like he was a little kid on the first day of school. “Your first … time spent away should have been a lunch or something short, not an overnight stay.”

“Agent Gibbs had to go out of town to interview someone Doc.” Tony stood still and let her fuss over him. He didn’t want to let her see how excited he was, it might hurt her feelings. “And you said you wanted to attend that lecture at Georgetown. I’ll be fine.”

“Well. Behave yourself and don’t cause Agent McGee any trouble.” She smiled sadly and he hoisted his backpack. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Yes Ma’am.” He said it to make her smile in annoyance. “I’ll obey Agent McGee.”  
He heard Agent McGee splutter on the other side of the screen door.

“Make sure he eats Agent McGee.” The Doc turned her attention to the man outside. “Don’t take for granted he’ll do anything without being reminded.” Tony glanced back at her and opened the door causing McGee to step back.

“Yes Ma’am.” McGee nodded and turned to walk toward his car. Tony followed him, swinging the backpack back and forth. “Come on Tony.” McGee hurried around to the driver’s side. “She makes me nervous.”

“Yes sir.” Tony carefully put his backpack on the backseat and climbed into the passenger seat. 

“So. Any preferences for dinner?” McGee glanced at him and pulled away from the curb.

“Pizza? Can we have pizza? Please, sir?” Tony asked with a hopeful smile. “I like pizza.”

“Pizza it is.” McGee grinned and headed for the pizza shop by his apartment.

“Sir?” Tony asked hesitantly after a few minutes of silence.

“You don’t have to call me sir, Tony.” 

“Yes sir.” Tony nodded. “Would you… I mean… Do you…” Tony’s hands clenched together in his lap.

“Hey, it’s alright.” McGee looked at him. “What do you need Tony?”

“A laptop?” Staring at his hands, Tony was afraid to look up. “Can you get me a laptop?”

“Sure.” McGee pulled into the parking lot. “I can set you up. Any programs you want in particular?”

“Um…” Tony shrugged and McGee laughed.

“No problem.” McGee patted his knee. “We’ll get you setup with something.”

“Thank you, sir.” Tony breathed a sigh of relief. Step one accomplished.

~*~

_Lost in a maze of library stacks, running up and down impossibly long aisles, he stumbled to a stop, leaning against a shelf to catch his breath. There was no one chasing him, so why was he running? Lifting his head to wipe away the sweat, he looked down a cross-path, he saw a spotlight pinning someone down on a library table._

_On the run again, it took forever to get there and then suddenly he was standing there blinking into the light. She was beautiful, naked and sultry, lying on a white fur rug atop the table giving him a come-hither look. He couldn’t stop staring._

_“Timothy.” She moaned breathlessly. “Oh Timothy.” Reaching both arms out to him, she licked her lips and brought one leg up slowly, dragging it through the fur._

_“Um.” He knew her, but just couldn’t remember her name. It was right on the tip of his tongue, but try as he might, he couldn’t think of it._

_“Take me, I’m yours.” She grabbed his hand and pulled and then he was naked on the table with her, lying beside her, fur rug tickling his nose. Her hands wove around him, pulling him impossibly close, kissing at his face and murmuring his name._

_Kissing her back, he became instantly aroused and rubbing against all that soft naked skin sounded like a good idea._

“Sir? If want to use me, you’ll have to get permission.” Tony’s voice was thick with sleep. Even though McGee had been curious, he hadn’t wanted to know details, not like Abby. “I don’t mind. But you have to ask Doc first. She’s my Mistress.” 

McGee’s eyes snapped open and in the split second before he panicked, he realized that instead of the sultry beauty on the library table, he was rubbing against Tony’s backside. 

“Oh! Oh hell!” He’d heard about guys experimenting with other guys in college, but that sort of stuff just never happened to him. He’d never even seen two guys kissing though he’d heard later that it had happened at some frat party he’d been at by mistake. Of course he’d seen guys together in the park and perhaps he’d looked a little longer than someone merely curious, but … he just didn’t understand. How could you want a man when there were so many soft and sweet and cuddly females? Not that he had one right now, but it was the principle, right?

“Sir?”

Swallowing hard as his stomach rebelled, he closed his eyes and fought to picture Tony DiNozzo grinning at Gibbs all the while trying to convince him old movie could solve the case they were on. The only way this was going to work was if he made them two people in his head – Tony DiNozzo, Gibb’s Senior Agent and Fed, a subservient ‘boy’ that had an uncanny resemblance to DiNozzo, calmly waiting for McGee’s decision while remaining unnaturally quiet. He had to start thinking of this guy as ‘Fed’ not Tony – never Tony. 

Not knowing which horrified him the most, Tony—Fed’s—calm acceptance of being used or his one brief flash of temptation. Scooting backwards until he was able to scramble off of the bed and run for the door, the last thing McGee saw was Tony’s face looking curiously at him over his shoulder. Collapsing against the fridge, he let the metal cool his hot face. Gibbs was going to kill him. How freaking stupid could he get. 

“Agent McGee, sir?” Tony followed him to the kitchen. Well it was his own fault, he shouldn’t have left him alone in the dark bedroom in the middle of the night. “I’m sorry if I offended you.” His voice was soft too soft. He wanted Tony, loud and boisterous and full of life, not this skinny, quiet shadow called Fed. “But I can’t…I can’t… let you touch me without her sayso.”

McGee swallowed and pushed away from the fridge, turning to face Tony—Fed who was on his knees in the kitchen doorway, head submissively bowed. He wore the grey and blue plaid sleep plants that Abby had bought for him, one of several pair. He figured Tony’d gotten used to sleeping in the nude— _no, tell the truth even if it’s in your own head_ — Tony had been forbidden to sleep in clothing. Probably had only been allowed clothing when he went out in public which couldn’t have been often. Though, he got that tan somewhere. 

“Dr. Winters said you weren’t to kneel anymore.” McGee used his best authoritative voice, the one he’d used on Jethro-the-dog and didn’t seem to work any better on Tony… or Fed. “Come on, get up.” 

McGee walked over and held a hand down to Tony. “This is all a big misunderstanding.”

For his part, Tony stared at the hand and then darted a glance up at McGee and then back to his hand. Looking almost fearful, like it was a trap of some kind, he slowly reached up and took McGee’s hand and came to his feet. “Sorry sir.” Tony ducked his head bashfully. “I will inform her of my mistake in the morning.”

“There’s no need to say anything.” McGee huffed, embarrassment flushing his face even redder. “It’ll be just between us. Okay?” McGee turned back to pull the fridge open and grabbed a couple bottles of water. Handing Tony one, he repeated the “Okay Tony? Fed?” If Gibbs even suspected he’d thought about touching Tony, he’d kill him slowly. Thumping his head back against the fridge door, McGee moaned. What was he thinking? Gibbs would know the minute he saw his face. 

“Sir?” Tony questioned, clutching the water tightly in one hand, not making a move to open it. His head was slightly lowered and McGee couldn’t see his eyes. “I promised not to lie to her.” He said softly. “If she asks then I have to tell her.”

“Okay, fine.” McGee huffed, eyes darting around the room looking for an answer. “If she specifically asks, then don’t lie. But if you don’t say anything in the first place, she won’t have a reason to ask, right?” McGee asked hopefully, bending down to look up at Tony’s face. “Right?”

Tony eventually shrugged one bare shoulder. “Yes, sir.”

“It’s not like I actually did anything.” McGee spluttered, both arms flailing uselessly in front of him.  


Tony’s eyes followed the bottle of water curiously until McGee noticed and pulled it tight against his chest. “Look, Tony. I don’t … If Gibbs even thought I wanted to touch you, he’d slice me into little pieces with his laser eyes and use the pieces for target practice.” Smiling nervously, McGee tried to explain. 

“Agent Gibbs has no right, no _authority_ … to hurt you!” Tony’s head came up and his eyes blazed angrily and he took a step forward. “Doc is the only one who can say anything.” 

“Oh Tony, you remember how Gibbs is? He’s a possessive um… boss.” McGee wiped sweat from his forehead. “He went crazy when you were taken and he’s been a complete bastard ever since.” 

Frowning at Tony’s glaring expression, McGee shook his head in confusion. “Tony… you were his senior agent, none of us were ever good enough to replace you… or … or even guard his six.”

“He said I was a …” Tony dropped his eyes and his face went expressionless, but not before McGee saw a flash of hurt. “He said DiNozzo was a fuck-up!” 

“Tony…” Exasperated McGee gestured with both hands. He stopped suddenly thinking he was starting to act like Abby. “He called us worse than that every day. Every day we couldn’t find you. He was ten times worse than he was with Ari!”

“Not … not possible.” Tony mumbled in disbelief. “DiNozzo was never good enough… never—” 

“No. That’s backwards.” McGee thrust his chin out. _“We_ were never as good as you. _We_ didn’t do this or that or … or anything as well as _DiNozzo_ did. I wanted to hate you every time he shouted that at us, but then I remembered you were gone and nothing was going to be right until we got you back again. Sorry, I want to call you Tony. You …” McGee trailed off and sighed. 

__“I don’t believe you.” Tony shook his head roughly as if to toss away the lie. “Whether you admit to desiring me or not…” McGee stopped stuttering when Tony held up his hand. “Look… sir. I have been trained … extensively to know when someone wants to fuck me, even if it’s only a passing thought.” Tony didn’t smile and McGee’s heart fell, afraid to let himself dwell on what that ‘extensive’ training consisted of. “You don’t have to worry about Agent Gibbs inappropriate ideas of defending my honor….” McGee flinched at Tony’s grim smile. “I can assure you, I have none left.”_ _

__“I really don’t know all the details of what they did to you, but I… we’re all so sorry. I wish…” McGee sighed and tentatively put his hand on Tony’s arm. “You have plenty of honor Tony. I won’t argue about whether or not it’s Gibbs job to defend it or not, but don’t ever say you don’t have any. You’re the most honorable person I’ve ever known.” Tony’s eyes snapped up and he grinned. “You might have been a complete moron with the jokes and acting like an idiot, but you were never without honor.”_ _

__“Thank you sir. I…” Tony smiled shyly, ducking his head even lower if that was possible. “Sorry.” He mumbled so low, McGee barely heard him. “If … If DiNozzo could see you now, he would be proud of you.”_ _

__“Thanks.” McGee answered just as softly._ _

__Twisting the cap off, McGee took a long sip of water. They were going to have to talk about it. He couldn’t just go climb back in bed with Tony like nothing happened, especially when Tony would probably blame himself. He waited until Tony took a small sip and twisted the cap back on before gesturing him toward the sofa. It felt silly to have a serious conversation while he was in his pajamas and Tony was wearing only sleep pants, even if the apartment was mostly dark._ _

__Keeping his eyes off Tony’s scars and the black circle tattoo under his ear, McGee fumbled for words. “Tony… Look I know… I’m sorry… I…” Rubbing at his face, McGee thought he saw amusement flash in Tony’s eyes the one time he looked up, but that had to be a mistake. Tony hadn’t smiled once since he’d been back._ _

__“It’s alright sir.” Tony twisted the lid off his water bottle and took another tiny sip, barely wetting his lips. “I misunderstood. Usually when… um when someone is rubbing up against me, they want to fuck me.” He said in a voice so serious and resigned that it broke McGee’s heart._ _

__“I was dreaming.” McGee blurted squeezing his water bottle so hard he was afraid it would burst. “I was… it was…. Anyway, I didn’t mean to … to … ah, _rub_ … against you. I can’t apologize enough.” McGee rubbed at his head and flushed again with disgust at himself. “I don’t… I would never do that to you… I mean even if was … into guys or something. Which I’m not! I’m … really not.” He heaved a sigh and took a drink of water. “I don’t believe in forcing someone to do something against their will. That’s just … that’s just rape and I would never to that. To you, I mean. Or anyone else.” He added quickly._ _

__“But I said it was alright.” Tony dipped his head to the side. “I meant that sir. You’ve been nothing but kind to me.”_ _

__“Oh hell.” McGee shook his head. He’d never make him understand. “Do you want me to … do you want to do that? With me?” He clarified._ _

__“I’m just a slave sir.” A smile ghosted across his face so quickly McGee wasn’t sure he’d really seen it and his eyes widened in surprise. “What I want or don’t want has nothing to do with it.”_ _

__“Yeah, see there’s the problem I have with all this.” McGee gestured wildly. “What you want has everything to do with it. Or it should have.” McGee yawned unexpectedly and decided to wrap this up before it was too late to get back to sleep at all. “I know you used to brag about your … your conquests but I kind of got the impression you really didn’t sleep around all that much.” He checked Tony’s face and found it impassive. “But I know, I _know,_ the times you did _meant_ something. Take Jeanne—” McGee broke off when Tony made a choking sound and gave him a surprised look. “See? She meant something to you. That’s what I’m talking about Tony. You had a choice.” McGee smiled to himself._ _

__“Sir.” Tony’s voice was as colorless as he could make it. “Jeanne Benoit and her father, the Frog, were part of a secret undercover assignment Tony DiNozzo was given by Director Shepard. Tony DiNozzo was ordered to seduce her and get close to her in order to get close to her father. Tony DiNozzo was also forbidden to tell Gibbs or the team.”_ _

__“Okay. Bad example.” McGee decided it was either too early or too late to debate this any longer. “Anyway you know what I mean. So.” Getting to his feet, he gestured toward the bedroom with his almost empty water bottle. “No matter what I do, dreaming or awake, I am not, I repeat NOT going to use you or take you or fu—, touch you in an inappropriate manner. Not ever. Understand?”_ _

__Tony stood and nodded slowly, head cocked to the side. “It’s not possible to die of shame sir.” Amusement ghosted across his face. “I know I tried… in the beginning…the… _before.”_ The last word was merely a whisper and McGee had to lean forward to hear it._ _

__“Before?” He stopped himself from taking another step closer, lest DiNozzo misunderstand. “Before what?”_ _

__“Before.” Tony frowned at him, like he should know this already. _“Before._ When I was Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.” Tony dropped his voice and his eyes when he said the name, _his own name_ and McGee exploded in anger, turning to smack the wall with an open hand. _ _

__“You ARE Anthony DiNozzo!” Taking a deep breath when he caught sight of Tony’s wide, frightened eyes, McGee fought the sudden rage bubbling up and out. “That’s your name and no one… NO ONE can take that away from you!”_ _

__Tony shook his head and smoothly dropped into a perfect kneel on the cold tile floor. McGee absently wondered how long it had taken to learn to do that so gracefully. And what about Tony’s trick knee – the old football injury?_ _

__“My name is Fed, sir. That’s who I am. No matter what the Doc, or… or Agent Gibbs says.” He didn’t lower his head, just kept his eyes on the carpet and McGee began to fidget in the quiet. He had no idea what to say or how to help Tony. If the fancy psychologist couldn’t make any progress, what was he supposed to do._ _

__With a sigh that morphed into a groan, McGee got down on his knees facing Tony who turned his head in surprise. _How did he make that look so comfortable?_ “Look at me.”_ _

__He waited until Tony lifted his eyes enough to meet his before continuing. “Just listen, ok? I don’t know how long I can stay like this.” He watched Tony’s face closely, but there was not even a hint of humor. _Maybe Tony was right… no. Better not to even think that. Gibbs would read his mind and shoot him._ “You will always be Tony DiNozzo to me.” He began quietly, smiling softly. “Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. You taught me everything I know about surviving as an agent and being on Gibbs’ team.” _ _

__Tony blinked at him and McGee hoped he was listening._ _

__“You were— _are_ —my best friend Tony. And I really, really miss you.” McGee said softly._ _

__“Thank you sir.” Tony said in a tone that was too serious. “If there is nothing else, I think you should get up now. Your face is turning red and I know your knees must be killing you.”_ _

__Awkwardly standing up, McGee held his hand out to Tony who was still kneeling. Tony looked at the hand and then at him and back to his hand. “Sir?”_ _

__McGee wiggled his fingers. He knew Tony knew what he meant._ _

__“I can sleep out here sir.” He could hear Tony gulp nervously. “Or maybe on the floor beside the bed.” He added brightly. “The Doc lets me do that.”_ _

__“No. Take my hand Tony, and come on.” McGee shifted his weight onto one foot, keeping his hand out until Tony took it and somehow managed to get to his feet without using it to pull himself up. His hand was cold and McGee frowned at him. “Let’s go.” He said and waved Tony ahead of him. _Maybe if I wrap him up in a blanket… sleeping on the floor, my foot.__ _

__Waiting until Tony started down the hallway toward the bedroom before following him several feet behind, McGee couldn’t help worrying this had been a bad idea. Stopping at the hall closet, he grabbed the thick purple comforter he used in the winter. In the bedroom he gestured for Tony to get in the bed and get comfortable. Once Tony was situated, McGee stretched out on top of the covers and spread the comforter over himself._ _

__“This way, even if I have another dream, hopefully you won’t feel anything. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way.” He gave Tony a quick smile that he probably couldn’t see in the dim light. “Goodnight Tony. I hope you can get back to sleep.” McGee turned over and resolutely shut his eyes._ _

__“Yes sir. Thank you sir.” Tony wiggled for another minute before settling down. McGee was unable to relax until he heard Tony’s soft snores and then he wrapped his arms around his own pillow. No matter what, Tony was his friend—not a substitute teddy bear._ _

__*|*_ _

__Tony was on his second bowl of frosted flakes when McGee stumbled into the living room yawning and tripped over the half-empty cereal box. He’d been sitting on the floor, leaning back against the sofa watching some kind of weird alien shoot ‘em up cartoon._ _

__“Ow! Damn it Tony.” McGee groused hopping on one foot. How he could stub a toe on a cardboard box was beyond him._ _

__“Sorry sir.” Tony had pushed bowl and box out of the way and now knelt facing him, forehead touching the carpet. McGee spent a moment wondering how he could breathe, folded in half like that. “I will accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate.”_ _

__“Tony…” McGee sighed, hopping over to the wall. “I’m not gonna punish you. I’m not hurt, just clumsy.” Pulling a knee up to rub at his toe, McGee scratched his head with the other hand. “I thought we settled this kneeling thing last night. Get up Tony. Finish your cereal before it’s soggy.”_ _

__Tony slowly uncurled and with a wary eye on McGee, pulled the bowl back. “I can make you breakfast Agent McGee.” Tony asked still clutching the half-eaten bowl of cereal. “I made coffee.”_ _

__“Thanks.” McGee straightened and limped toward his small kitchen, the smell of coffee going a long way to soothe his sore toe. He’s not going to mention last night again, not if it kills him. Coffee in hand he went back to the living room. “I can get a bagel or something when we go out.”_ _

__“Yes sir.” Tony hurriedly finished his breakfast and took the bowl to the kitchen. “Should I get dressed sir?” He asked from the doorway._ _

__“Yeah. Um, there’s an Apple store in Georgetown. Unless, you uh want something else.”_ _

__“Sir?” Tony looked confused. “I don’t … I don’t have any money.” His face fell and he slumped against the wall._ _

__“I’m sure they’ve been depositing your check somewhere.” McGee rubbed at one eye. “Gibbs would know. It’s ok Tony. You can pay me back.”_ _

__“Agent McGee.” Tony’s voice was very small. “Sir. I’m not allowed to have money.”_ _

__McGee looked up at him and thought hard about how to phrase what he wanted to say. “Fed is not allowed money. Tony DiNozzo is. We’ll work it out.” Tony looked hopeful and McGee waved him toward the bedroom. “Take a shower, get dressed and let’s get the show on the road.”_ _

__Tony’s smile was wide and carefree, so much like the old Tony that McGee could barely breathe._ _

__~*~_ _


	15. Chapter 15

Tony sat in the back of the town car, staring out the window as dusk settled in over DC. They were headed to some charity event Doc and Ducky wanted to attend. Tony felt constricted wearing a tux and yet on the other hand, he was excited to be dressed up. He was surprised Gibbs agreed to come along, he was pretty sure it wasn’t because he wanted to hear the concert. Abby loved to dress up and go out so that was a no brainer. Afterward he was going home with Ducky, spending Saturday with him and maybe Sunday if things went well. He knew Ducky would want to do another examination and he wasn’t looking forward to that. Or talking, he grimaced. The ME had a way of looking at you and seeing right through you to all the things you wanted to keep hidden.

Blinking, he realized he’d almost dozed off when the car pulled up to the curb. Ducky rushed around to open the door for the Doc and she moved a few steps onto the sidewalk to give Abby room to get out. Gibbs was leaning in to make sure the driver knew when to pick them up. Tony got out on the street side and started to walk behind the car. 

The Doc stumbled with a small cry and Tony looked up to watch in slow motion as a guy pushed her and grabbed the loose strap of her purse in a practiced motion, slicing it free with a bowie knife. He was off and running within a matter of seconds, stolen purse tucked under his arm. 

With an inarticulate cry, Tony leapt over the trunk of the car to land at her feet, pulling her up. “I’m fine. Go get my purse.” She pushed his hands away from her skinned knees. “Go on.” He looked at her in askance, obviously not wanting to leave her. Shaking her head, she placed both hands on the side of his face. “Tony.” He blinked and suddenly he could hear Abby screaming Gibbs’s name even though he had already started running after the thief. “Go and get my purse please.” She said it calmly, making sure she had his attention.

Giving her a cheeky grin, he glanced around. Abby was jumping up and down screaming “Help! Police! Gibbs!” over and over. Ducky put a hand on Abby’s arm to calm her down.

“Go ahead, Anthony. I’ll look after the ladies.” Ducky led Abby forward and held his arm out for Dr. Winters. “Alexia, my dear. Allow me to guide you to a bench.”

“Go.” She nodded at Tony and turned her attention to Ducky. 

“I’m afraid your dress is irreparably torn, my dear.” Ducky clucked and Tony ran, not hearing anything else the ME had to say. At least Abby had stopped screaming. 

In less than a block and a half he’d passed Gibbs dodging people and dogs and bike messengers. With a tight grin Tony took a running jump and landed square on the thief’s back. With a grunt of pain they hit the grass between the sidewalk and the street, the guy’s forehead glanced against the concrete edge knocking him out. 

Brushing his pants, Tony stood and grabbed the purse picking up the small items that had rolled out. Not realizing what he looked like, standing there in an Armani tux, just having nearly killed a guy over a purse, he darted a glance around at the crowd. Shaking his head at the two people taking video with their phones, he realized the guy was still holding on to the end of the strap.

Tony jerked the purse strap free and was turning away when Gibbs ran up, breathing heavily. This was the reason he hated monkey suits. Naturally DiNozzo could run well in dress shoes. Barely out of breath, Tony nodded at Gibbs and started walking back toward the Doc holding tightly to her purse. More curious onlookers had formed a circle around the area and were whispering and taking pictures with their cellphones. 

“Did you see that?” “Who does that?” “Did anyone call the police?” “Call the police.” “Who was that guy?” “Did he steal that other guy’s purse?” “Don’t be stupid, that scrap of velvet wasn’t a man’s purse.”

Gibbs stood watching Tony stride away with a heavy frown. The guy on the sidewalk groaned and more cellphones clicked. Looking down, Gibbs sighed and pulled out his badge. “Federal agent.” Most of the crowd rolled their eyes and two or three piped up and said they were federal agents too. “You can’t walk across the street in this town without tripping over a federal agent.”

“Good.” Gibbs said after a moment. “Come here then.” He motioned the closest one forward and pulled a card from his shirt pocket. "When the police get here, have them arrest this guy for purse snatching. They can call me for any questions.” He pushed the card into the guy’s hand and strode after Tony. 

“Hey! No wait!” The guy trailed a few feet after Gibbs. Giving him a backwards wave, Gibbs didn’t slow down. They still might make the concert if he hurried. 

Cutting through the park, Gibbs rounded a copse of trees and saw DiNozzo on his knees, frozen in place with his head bowed in front of a stranger. A stranger who had a possessive hand on top of DiNozzo’s head, stroking through his hair. 

“Hey!” Gibbs roared and broke into a run. “Get your hands off him!” The bastard removed his hand however reluctantly, by the time Gibbs was close enough to break if off and beat him to death with it. Tony’s face was blank, lips pressed tightly together and he had a death grip on the purse.

“Tony, take Doc Winter’s purse back.” Gibbs said softly and made eye contact with the stranger. “If you touch him again, I will kill you.” He promised with a death glare. DiNozzo ran. Greedy eyes followed him and Gibbs clenched his fists to keep from busting that arrogant face. Could he arrest the bastard for touching DiNozzo like that? Asshole looked like he wanted to eat the kid, couldn’t keep his eyes off him. 

“He’s a nice boy.” The man flicked Gibbs a glance and licked thick lips making Gibbs feel sick. “Older yes, but well taken care of.” 

Gibbs grunted, turning to follow DiNozzo, fists clenched tightly before he did something he might regret. Well, he wouldn’t _regret_ it so much, in fact he would probably enjoy it immensely, but there would be consequences he didn’t have time to deal with.

“How much?” The slimy voice called out after him. 

“Not for sale.” Gibbs gritted out without slowing down. Stupid bastard. Another DC bigshot, not used to being told no. “Fuck off.”

“Everything’s for sale for the right price.” The man had followed, hurrying past Gibbs until he could block the sidewalk and hold out a card. “I could make room for the boy. He looks delicious.”

Gibbs stopped and glared. “Are you deaf? I said fuck off.” The man’s hand dropped slightly. “Get the hell out of here. I don’t ever want to see you again.” Gibbs waited a moment to make sure the message had been received before striding on. He wanted to know what that bastard had said to make DiNozzo’s face so pale, let alone why he was on his knees.

When Gibbs looked back a few minutes later, the bastard was still standing there, both hands in his pockets.

~*~

 

They’d gone straight to bed when they’d finally got to Ducky’s and Tony breathed a sigh of relief when the ME had drifted off to sleep immediately without wanting to talk. Tony pulled the old-fashioned quilt tighter around himself and still managed to shiver when he thought about that man. He was curled on the sofa in the sitting room area at the far end of the bedroom, close enough that he could hear Ducky’s soft snores. He was warm and cozy, but he couldn’t get that man’s face out of his mind. If Gibbs hadn’t come along, he was sure the bastard would have forced him to do … something. 

Some of it was his own fault because he knew – _he knew_ the Doc wasn’t a real Mistress and had very little control over him. His real Mistress was in the wind and Tony needed someone he could point to and say _that is my owner and you cannot touch me._ As a slave, he was bound to obey anyone not a slave unless his Mistress gave him specific orders. And she hadn’t. Gibbs had rescued him again. Thankfully that had been the end of it. Gibbs hadn’t mentioned it in front of the others. DiNozzo could read Gibbs pretty well and that look meant there would be a discussion later.

Gibbs would make a good Master. Tony tried to distract himself. Well not a _good_ one, because he was too offhand with words that hurt, but he was strong willed and definitely alpha. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to his slaves, but he wouldn’t be gentle either. Well maybe he would, he’d been married four times and surely he’d been gentle and loving with his daughter. Maybe those feelings had died with them. It didn’t matter, Gibbs didn’t believe in slavery and Tony would never belong to him. It was a long time until he slept.

 

~*~

Late the next morning, after a thorough exam and a leisurely walk through the gardens, they sat together in the parlor.

“Your mother had some beautiful antiques, Sir.” Tony finally said when he started to feel uncomfortable under Ducky’s scrutiny. He almost started to fidget and mentally smacked himself. He was picking up bad habits here with all the laxity. He wanted his Mistress to be proud of him when he finally found her, not disappointed in his behavior.

“Yes. Some items might be rather feminine in style, but they’re all I have left of her. I can’t bear the thought of getting rid of a single piece.” Ducky chuckled. “I’m sure Mother is still keeping an eye on me.”

“Mmmm.” Tony didn’t know quite what to say about that, so he folded his hands in his lap and took refuge in silence.

“Anthony.” Ducky took a deep breath and Tony knew the inquisition was about to begin. “I’m unable to see any visible progress on your split personality issue. Dr. Winters ‘treatment’ doesn’t seem to be working. Am I correct in thinking you still see yourself as ‘Fed’? Are you unwilling to admit that you used to be Anthony DiNozzo?”

“DiNozzo was… was nothing more than a series of masks Sir. When the masks were removed, there was nothing left.” Tony answered earnestly, wondering how many more times he was going to have to explain this.

“What was left, was the real Anthony DiNozzo!” The ME said tartly and Tony winced.

“Anthony,” Ducky visibly calmed himself before leaning forward to place a comforting hand on Tony’s arm. “ _I_ knew the antics you enjoyed weren’t the real you. We might not have understood all the whys, but dear boy don’t ever believe we didn’t care about you. I may only be your doctor, but I count you as one of my closest friends. Someone I could count on to the bitterest of ends.”

Tony shot him a doubtful glance, then sighed. It’s not like Ducky would lie, but it seemed so unreal.

“You are part of our little dysfunctional NCIS family, my boy. None of us were the same when you were missing. Can you tell me why you didn’t want to come back?”

“Slaves can’t …” Tony whispered, keeping his eyes on the floor. 

“You weren’t born a slave, nor are you one now. Can you treat this … this mental aberration as an undercover operation and come home?”

Tony looked down at the beautiful Persian carpet and shook his head mutely. 

“Something I doubt the others have mentioned and it probably hasn’t occurred to Dr. West, but Anthony… we love you. I mentioned our NCIS family earlier… you’re a big part of that. And if things had gone differently, if you had died…” Ducky pulled of his glasses and wiped at his eyes a time or two. “… if that had been the case, we would have still loved you. I mean to say, you belong with us Anthony, that no matter how many other agents come and go, no one is ever going to take your place.”

“Sir.” Tony dropped his head, flushing in embarrassment.

“No let me finish.” Ducky held up his hand. “I’m doing a rather poor job explaining, but Anthony let me say it for all of us. Even if you never find Anthony DiNozzo again… we will still love you. You are you… no matter what you call yourself. We don’t want to lose you, child. _I_ don’t want to lose you again.” Ducky smiled wryly. “This old heart couldn’t take it.”

“I don’t know what to say Sir.” Tony slid off the chair and crawled over to kneel up in front of Ducky, taking both his hands. “I missed you most of all.” He shook his head when Ducky opened his mouth to remonstrate with him. “No Sir. Please… let me… the others... DiNozzo depended on your good sense to guide him. To show him where what he _wanted_ to do diverged from what he _ought_ to do.”

“You don’t know how much that warms my heart, my boy.” Ducky squeezed his hands. “I can see in your eyes that you’re not as lost as you were when you arrived here. No—don’t close your face to me.” Ducky tightened his grip when Tony tried to pull away. “Promise me Anthony. Promise you will tell us before you take action on any decisions you make.”

“Sir.” Tony dropped his forehead on their hands. “I… I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can hope for.” Ducky pulled his hands back and patted Tony’s head, now resting against his knee. “No matter what happens, now or later… you’re welcome here. I promise you a safe haven.”

“Thank you Sir.” Tony sniffed and lifted his head. “That means more than I can ever say.”

“Now. What say we rustle up some luncheon?” Ducky lifted at Tony’s shoulders to get him to stand. “Jethro will have my hide if I don’t feed you.” 

“Yes, Sir.” Tony stood and followed Ducky through the house to the kitchen. “If you tell me what you want, I can fix it.” He offered. “I’m quite a good cook.”

“That’s not necessary.” Ducky smiled at him and pulled a long pan out of the refrigerator. “Just need to warm up this lasagna and make some garlic bread.” Tony took the pan and put it in the oven. “I’ve already made a salad.” Ducky said putting a bowl on the counter. “But if you could set the table, I’ll make us a pot of tea.”

“Yes Sir.” Tony adjusted the temperature dials on the stove and reached to get down the plates.

“I see you remember where everything is.” Ducky commented from the pantry where he was looking through different teas. 

Tony froze and then bit off a grin. “Nothing gets by you sir.” He set the plates down and got out silverware. “Are we eating in here or do you want to go to the dining room?”

“Oh in here certainly.” Ducky pulled the whistling tea kettle off the stove and poured water into two mugs. “Much more intimate, don’t you agree?”

“Yes Sir.” Tony sat at the table where Ducky pointed and wrapped his hands around the mug pushed across to him. “Thank you sir.”

“Ah.” Ducky took a sip of tea. “That’s better. Now.” He settled back in the chair and looked Tony in the eye. “I understand Dr. Winters is in charge of your treatment, but if you want someone else you only have to say so, my boy. I will take care of it.”

“I… hadn’t…” Tony looked down. “The Doc, she sort of …” He swallowed and met Ducky’s eyes. “She holds my ownership papers sir. I can’t…”

“Well, don’t you bother about that.” Ducky patted his arm. “ _I_ can.” He took another sip of tea and fixed Tony with a gentle glare. “I can handle the question of ownership and anything else. If you’re in any way uncomfortable with Dr. West or if you feel her treatment isn’t helping, you need only tell me Anthony and I will take care of it.”

“But Sir.” 

“Anthony. Anthony.” Ducky sighed. “She _will_ sign you over to someone else… me if necessary, until you’re ready to let Fed go. I promise to take good care of you… besides…” Ducky grinned. “You already know I love you like a son. I could easily have been your godfather or at least a favorite uncle. I won’t judge you or force you into anything.” He added on a more serious note and Tony nodded at him.

“Thank you Sir. I’ll… um I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” Ducky smiled at him. “Now. If it doesn’t hurt too much, I’m still curious as to why you didn’t want to come back here? Didn’t want to see your team, or more importantly, why were you afraid to be left alone with us?”

 

~*~


	16. Chapter 16

~*~

 

For once everything had gone without a hitch. They’d caught the perp red handed at the scene, he’d screamed at them over and over not realizing he was confessing to murder. In fact he seemed rather proud of strangling the young lieutenant after slipping her a dose of Rohypnol. Even the paperwork was acceptable the first time around. Gibbs had surprised them all by letting everyone go by 1400. All he wanted was a cold beer and time with the boat.

He’d never heard Doctor Winters laugh, he mused as he quietly opened the front door. Looking around, he spied DiNozzo on the couch, clutching a pillow desperately, frowning even in sleep. Narrowing his eyes curiously, he looked toward the laughter, wondering who the Doc was talking to. She sounded ecstatic, like she’d just won the lottery.

Walking silently across the room, he stood by the half-open door and listened unashamedly. At the least he might learn how his agent was really doing.

“Yes. Yes!” She positively crowed. “I’ll send you the first draft as soon as I can get my notes together. It’s going so well. Of course he trusts me. I’m his doctor after all. Who else does he have?”

“My agent is already making noises about submitting a paper for the McGovern Award. No one has ever managed to interview a mature slave and I’m living with one! Well … of course Europe doesn’t count.”

Her voice dropped and she nearly whispered. “Wait til I tell you what happened to this poor man. You’re never gonna believe how different his training was from the regular kids we see. It’s … I feel so sorry for him. I don’t know… maybe. Probably not. It’s all a matter of degree.”

“Yes, I understand. I haven’t gotten all the details out of him yet. He’s naturally… hesitant to talk about it. Yes I’ll be careful. I won’t do anything to ruin this.”

It took all of Gibbs self-control not to march in there and rip the phone from her hand, shove it down her throat and throw her out on the street. He was too angry, no _enraged_ to hear much more and when he calmed down enough to breathe, he stepped back. Glancing at the couch, he saw DiNozzo awake and watching him.

His eyes darted to the door and back to DiNozzo who was staring at him with devastated eyes and gave him a tiny head-shake. Dammit all to hell, he’d heard everything. Before he could open his mouth, Doctor Winters came out wearing a big smile. 

“Agent Gibbs, you’re home early! Oh, stop glaring like that, it’s a beautiful day!” She practically danced over to the couch where DiNozzo pretended to wake up and blinked at her. “Are you hungry Tony? I feel like seafood tonight. Then maybe a movie. My treat.” She gave him a quick pat on the head and twirled away.

“Yes ma’am.” DiNozzo plastered on a smile even Gibbs could tell was fake. Gibbs saw her smile dim a bit, but she never let on that anyone might have heard the damning conversation. “Sorry. I meant yes Doc. Whatever you want.” DiNozzo ducked his head contritely and waited until he heard her running up the stairs before looking up at Gibbs with clouded eyes.

“Good idea.” Gibbs twisted his mouth into something resembling a grin as they both stared at him in shock. “I’ll call Abby.” No way was he leaving the kid alone with her again. She paused on her way up the stairs but nodded down to him gracefully. Stupid bitch.

“DiNozzo, why don’t you go outside for a while?” Gibbs murmured watching the spot where the doctor disappeared. “It’s a nice sunny day. No reason for you to be cooped up in here.”

“Yes sir.” Tony left quietly and Gibbs pulled out his phone.

~*~

Abby burst through the front door like a mini explosion. “Gibbs! Gibbs! Thank you so much for inviting me! I’m so excited! Is Tony excited? Where’s Tony? Tony! Tony where are you? Gibbs, where’s Tony? I—” 

“Abs!” Gibbs grumbled good-naturedly and grabbed at the assorted bags she was dumping on him. “Calm down and breathe. Tony’s in the back yard. What is all this? Whatcha doing here so early?”

“Bossman, don’t be silly.” She snatched back a red canvas portfolio-sized bag nearly upsetting a couple others. “You can never be too early.” With a smile, she rushed through the house and stopped suddenly at the back door, entranced. 

It’d been hot and humid earlier, but now the sun was half-hidden in a late afternoon haze of clouds. A soft breeze danced along the treetops. She could hear birds chattering and someone mowing not too far away. It was peaceful and she’d expected Tony to be sprawled out in a lawn chair working on his tan. Her eyes scanned the empty deck and then the yard until she found him.

Tony knelt in the long flowerbed, bare toes digging into the soft dirt, wearing nothing but the skimpiest jean shorts she’d ever seen – and she’d seen some skimpy shorts. She watched the play of muscles across his back and for one traitorous second she wanted this gorgeous man on his knees for her. They’d be so good together. But no, Tony-bear was like her big brother – there was no going _there_. 

He was weeding, being very careful around Gibbs roses, a half-filled bucket at his side. Her eyes traced a drop of sweat rolling down his back, disappearing into the shorts and she sighed wistfully. He was beautiful, lean and muscled, all golden tan and she had a moment of bittersweet pain that Kate had never seen him like this. She’d fill up sketchbook after sketchbook. 

Peeking over her shoulder to check on Gibbs and the doctor lady, Abby dug out her cell and snapped a couple quick photos. Hearing a noise behind her, she shoved the cell in her pocket and pushed open the screen door.

“Tony! I’m here! I missed you! Come give me a hug! I want to show you something.” Clomping across the deck, she laid the bag on the table and pulled out a chair. “Forget that for now.” She waved a hand toward the flower bed and realized this wasn’t just an afternoon job. He must have been working on the yard for days. “Hurry up. I can’t wait til you see this! I think it’s some of my best work!” 

Tony knelt up and obediently pulled off the work gloves and laid them in the bucket. Brushing dirt and grass off his legs, he walked up to the deck and smiled at her. “How are you Tony-bear?” She pulled him into a hard hug as soon as he was close enough and ignored how he stilled, hands slowly coming up to touch her back.

“I’m fine ma’am.” He said, stepping back. “Do you need me to do something?”

“Sit down, sit down.” She gestured impatiently at the table, pulling folders out of the bag and trying to sit down at the same time. “I put together some ideas, but of course you can pick something else, this is just to get the ball rolling.” She beamed at him and pushed the top folder toward him.

He stared at her a second longer and she motioned with her chin. “Go on. Tell me what you think.”

Bouncing in the seat, she couldn’t wait another second while he reluctantly opened the folder and stared at the first picture. “That’s my favorite! There’s some others that cover up the circle altogether, but I like the idea of using it as a frame. There’s no limit to what we can do. See…” She reached across the table and shuffled the pictures out so he could look at several at once. “So… what do you think?” Biting her lip and fluttering her hands in the air, she waited impatiently for Tony to pick a design.

She could tell the second he realized what all the colored pictures meant because he dropped the pages as if they burned his fingers. So not the reaction she was going for.

“Tony—”

”What … what is this?” He pushed the papers back into a pile with one finger. His eyes darted to hers and then dropped blankly to the folder. “Ma’am?” Abby blew out a breath at the choked voice. “Why would you…” He closed the folder and pushed it away in jerky movements, eyes downcast. “No.”

“I didn’t think… you can’t …” Abby huffed in annoyance. “If you don’t like these we can find some more, or if you don’t want anything, I know some people who do a great job of erasing tattoos. Well not really erase, because you can’t do that, but you know what I mean. You’d have to get really close to see any trace.” She said eagerly, trying to make him understand.

“But why would I want to erase them? Make them into a cartoon?” His eyes were full of surprised bewilderment and confusion. Her Tony would have been quicker on the uptake this this, not trembling in fear. Her Tony would have already done something about the ugly circles. Somehow she had to make this man understand he _was_ her Tony.

“Calm down Tony. Just… don’t say no yet. Take another look. Okay, I meant look at the designs not me.” She gave him her best ‘it’s all good’ smile, but he refused to look down. “Because Tony-bear, you can’t go around with those tattoos now that you’re not—”

“Stop!” He interrupted her hoarsely and shoved his chair back, ready to run. Abby reached out and grabbed his forearm, stilling him instantly. She winced at the panic in his eyes and interrupted the second she saw his lips begin to move. If he called her ma’am one more time she was gonna smack him.

“Listen to me mister!” She tugged on his arm and he settled on the edge of the chair stiff and unwilling, his face set in a stubborn mask. “You have to get rid of those big black circles. A federal agent—” 

“Ms. Sciuto.” He said gently, peeling her fingers off his arm, all fear and confusion gone. “I can’t change or remove the tattoos. I’m a slave and I must wear them openly.” He stood, pushed the chair under the table and smiled sadly at her. “You have to understand.” His were suspiciously bright, she couldn’t bear to see him like this. “How else will people know I’m a slave?”

“But Tony!” She tried again, grabbing the folders and shoving them back in the bag. The tattoos must have been something they’d brainwashed him to accept. Well, she’d just unbrainwash him then. Couldn’t be that hard.

“I’m sorry ma’am.” Tony shook his head and opened the screen door. “This is who I am.”

“Well okay, I understand if it’s too soon. We’ll come back to this.” She called at the closed door. “We will Tony! We’ll definitely be talking about this later!”

 

~*~

Gibbs watched them from the kitchen window. Satisfied they’d be busy at least a few minutes, he ran up the stairs to confront Dr. Winters. This whole farce was over. He found her just going into the guest room, one hand on the door knob. Wearing a bathrobe, bundle of clothes in one arm.

“Doc.” He greeted almost politely. “I want you out of here. Get your crap together and find a hotel or better yet, go back to New York.”

“What?” She looked momentarily confused and then nodded. “Ah. I was afraid you heard me on the phone. Look it doesn’t mean—” 

“I don’t care what it means.” Gibbs had sat across the table from enough crooks and charlatans to recognize the expressions when someone meant to bullshit him. “Make whatever excuse you want to DiNozzo, but you’re out of here by the end of the weekend.”

“I’m not leaving without Tony. This is a critical time in his—” 

“Bullshit!” Gibbs clenched his fists. “Your so-called treatment isn’t doing the kid a damn bit of good. He still thinks he’s a slave, won’t admit to being DiNozzo, and still sleeps in your room. Exactly what have you ‘fixed’?” He made finger quotes and smiled grimly when she flushed.

“Well your version of ‘suck it up’ machismo is harmful to Tony’s self-esteem.” She took a deep breath. “Stop interrupting me! You’re rude and overbearing and I’m not abandoning Tony to your _tender mercies.”_ she didn’t use finger quotes, but they hung in the air nevertheless.

“There’s nothing you can say that’s going to change my mind. I still hold DiNozzo’s Medical Proxy and I can have you removed, if you don’t go willingly.” She pressed her lips tightly together and Gibbs could see thoughts racing across her eyes. “And I will.”

“Gibbs—” 

“You will also sign over whatever papers you have claiming DiNozzo belongs to you. He’s not a damn slave and I’m done with you ordering him around like he is one.” He could see she’d had enough.

“I wouldn’t sign Tony over to you if you were the last person on earth!” She screeched, pulling herself up. “His mind is nothing for you to play with. He needs—” 

“Listen, you smug bitch.” Gibbs spat, not daring to get any closer. “You’re not getting your hooks any deeper into DiNozzo. You’re not going to profit over one of my agent’s being held captive, tortured and brainwashed. So far none of us has seen anything you’ve done help him in any way, shape or form.” Gibbs held up a hand at her outraged expression. “Sign him over to Ducky then. It makes no difference as long as he’s under no obligation to you whatsoever. We don’t want you here. _I_ don’t want you here. DiNozzo doesn’t need you. We take care of our own. So like I said, you find some excuse and get the hell out.” 

“You can’t—” She actually stamped her foot. A foot wearing a fuzzy slipper. He couldn’t stop the snort that slipped out or the way his eyes rolled of their own accord. 

“I can and I have. Fight me on this and I’ll inform DiNozzo of how you’ve taken his so-called _confidential_ and painful confession, all the juicy details of how he was caged and beaten and tortured and raped … how you plan to write it all down and tell the world, making your fortune off his agony. I’m sure that will endear him toward you.” Gibbs told her smugly, knowing she hadn’t realized DiNozzo had already heard every word. “And then I’ll inform Fornell what a snake in the grass, the FBI has empowered.” He planned to do that anyway.

“Tony – Agent DiNozzo…” she said stiffly, lifting her chin. “Is still in need of care. Specialized care, I might add that he’ll only get from me.”

Gibbs shrugged and tilted his head toward the stairs at the sound of the screen door slamming. He needed to wrap this up. DiNozzo still had to take a shower and he was getting hungry himself. “If – and that’s a big if – Ducky can’t handle it, we have the resources of the Navy and Marines before resorting to the private sector.” He had to bite back the snicker that threatened to overcome him at the look on her face. It wouldn’t do for her to see him laughing at her. He wanted her to take him seriously and get the fuck out.

“They—“ She started, but he talked over her, already turned to the stairs. 

“Forget it.” Gibbs paused, focusing on Abby’s upset tone. “You play nice with DiNozzo til the weekend. Then you’re gone.”

“Gibbs! Wait! You can’t just—“ She bit back anything else when Gibbs stomped back and leaned in. forcing her back against the wall, his face inches from hers.

“I can. I have. Deal with it.” He growled and was gone before she could think up a good retort.

~*~


	17. Chapter 17

~*~

It was very late and even Agent Gibbs had abandoned the boat for his bed. Tony hid in the bathroom talking to his favorite confidant – the mirror.

So far the search for his Mistress was a flop. It hadn’t taken long to exhaust every search parameter he could think of and he’d even placed personal ads, nothing. Why had he thought he could succeed where Agent McGee had failed? Where Gibbs had failed for over a year if what Dr. Mallard said was true. He was trying to find someone and he didn’t know the first thing about her – of course it was doomed.

“Your name is Fed. You’re a slave.” He cocked his head to the side and waited for the world to end. Waited for Agent Gibbs or Doc to jump out of bed, burst into bathroom and shake him silly. When nothing happened he leaned in closer to the mirror and whispered.

“You’re trained to please and …” He gave himself a little smirk. “…You’re damned good at it.” The smirk died away and he sighed. “You haven’t pleased your Mistress or Agent Gibbs or really any of the people in DiNozzo’s life. Not a single one. Therefore.” He pressed his lips together in a tight line and the light faded from his eyes. “You’re a failure. You deserve to be punished.” 

Unable to look at the man in the mirror any longer, Tony stepped away and flopped back on the toilet seat. Hopefully everyone would stay asleep so he wouldn’t be bothered here. Here, where there was bright light and truth in the mirror.

“Okay so you failed. Suck it up and fix it.” Resting his chin on his hands and elbows on his knees, Tony tried to figure out what his Mistress wanted. “Well, she wants your story so she can write a book.” He was only a slave, so he squashed the outrage that reared up from somewhere. “I ... I can do that.” He whispered in a tiny voice, not very sure at all.

She also wanted him to become DiNozzo. Same as Agent Gibbs and Agent McGee. Ms. Sciuto wanted that and a whole lot more. She wanted his very soul. No way he could or would please any of them in that regard. He _wasn’t_ DiNozzo and had no intention of trying. It only gave him headaches. 

Dr. Ducky wanted to help. Wanted to make him feel like he was wanted and that made him feel warm inside. That maybe it was ok to be here, to be himself. Dr. Ducky had offered him sanctuary… something no one else had. Of course Agent Gibbs had offered up his home, but that was only so he could keep an eye on him and the Doc. It was obvious Agent Gibbs merely tolerated the Doc – he couldn’t have control over his agent without her. 

And Agent Gibbs was all about control. “DiNozzo belonged to him – willingly, but I can’t be what he wants.” Tony whispered, glancing at the open door. “I can’t.” 

He really had no idea what Mossad Officer David wanted … she was the only one he hadn’t spent any ‘alone time’ with. That could be taken care of with a conversation with Doc.

None of them wanted sex which he was very, very good at. They didn’t want any personal attention whatsoever, nothing that required touching. _bad touch_ ; The thought floated up from nowhere. Whatever. Abby seemed to be the only one willing to touch him and welcome his touch in return. Doc kept it to a minimum and hours after the disastrous phone call, the bitter taste of betrayal threatened to overwhelm him at the thought of her hands on him. 

At first Agent Gibbs had seemed furious, but as the day wore on he was almost … almost cheerful if one could believe such a thing from Agent Gibbs. He’d been acting out of character and DiNozzo’s memories told him that was never a good thing. He’d even laughed at dinner, some outrageous joke that Ms. Sciuto told complete with hand gestures. Even the Doc had smiled. Something was definitely up. 

At least when he was with Mistress Pfeiffer, and the others, he knew where he stood. He knew what was expected of him and what would happen if he failed. Here, there was nothing but confusion and clumsy attempts to befriend him. DiNozzo was their friend, not him. They didn’t want him.

So what else could he do to please these people? He’d done some cleaning, some yard work. A bit of cooking. Cooking. Tony grinned and sat up straight. He was an excellent cook! He’d get someone to buy some decent ingredients and he’d make them a feast every day.

Energized, he quickly left the bedroom and crept quietly back in the bedroom for his backpack and some paper careful not to wake the Doc. On the way down the stairs, he realized his fear of being alone had stopped being so alarming. He hadn’t even thought about it in the last hour. Maybe something here was helping with that after all. But now he had menus to work out.

 

~*~

 

“Oh hey, Tony-bear.” Abby was elbows deep in a box of dvds. "Grease II. I can’t believe you actually paid money for _that._ Don’t you have the real Grease movie?” Holding it with one hand she dived back in, digging for treasure. Not finding what she was looking for, Abby sat back on her heels and turned the case over to read the back. “Oh I remember some of these songs! Especially the one with Michelle Pfeiff—“ Tony snatched the dvd out of her hand and Abby yelped before looking over at him – at tears silently streaking down his face. Somehow he’d found a clear place on the cement floor, head bowed over the case.

“That’s her isn’t it? The file… I… oh Tony.” He cradled the dvd, tracing her picture with gentle fingertips. “Tony. If she loved you, really loved you, she wouldn’t have let you go – not for any reason.” He made a sound somewhere between ‘no’ and a whimper, giving her a lost little boy look. Abby couldn’t bear the devastation in his eyes even as he shook his head no. 

“Tony.” She shook her head firmly and pointed firmly for good measure. “You think Gibbs would take anything for you? I’d never let anyone have you – they could … smash up my coffin!” She insisted. “Nothing would make me give you to someone else! Certainly not _money_!”

“Ms… Ms…” His voice cracked and he looked back down at the dvd, fingers tightening around it. 

“Hey.” She clamored over boxes to get to his side and put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close. “It’ll be ok. It will. I promise.” Pushing his hands away she settled into his lap and smoothed his hair back. He froze and she huffed out an irritated sigh. “Just relax. I’m not going to hurt you.” Wriggling in comfortably, Abby took the dvd from his limp hand. “She’s beautiful, in a blond Barbie sort of way. Hey! Hey!” She bounced around in excitement. “Let’s go see if we can find some more of her movies and have a marathon this afternoon! There’s plenty of time before we go out. Would you like that Tony?”

He stood up immediately, catching her easily and setting her on her feet. “Yes please.” He wiped awkwardly at his face with a sleeve while she pretended not to watch.

“Ok. We’ll do that then. Um… first though…” Looking around quickly, she grinned at him. “Gibbs will kill us if we don’t come back with some more clothes for you to wear. And…” She squinted at him thoughtfully. “You need something … hot to wear tonight.”

“These are DiNozzo’s things. I don’t….” Tony looked around at the scattered boxes helplessly.

“Tony. Tony.” Fists on hips, she circled around looking for boxes marked ‘CLOTHES’. “DiNozzo wouldn’t mind you borrowing something to wear. He’s generous like that.”

“Yes ma’am.” Tony tucked the dvd inside his shirt where it wouldn’t get lost and started stacking back the boxes of DiNozzo’s stuff she’d had him drag down to rummage in.

 

~*~

 

They’d found two more dvds in the clearance bin and Tony clutched the bag tightly. He hadn’t wanted to leave the first one in the car, but she refused to let him take it in the store. He was itching to get back and put the three of them together, figure out which one he wanted to see first. Outside, Ms. Sciuto stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“I need to run next door and pick up something.” She gestured at the Goth store. “Do you want to come with me or sit over there and wait?” 

Tony glanced at the bench and the store and back to the bench and pointed. “Ok. You stay on that bench and don’t wander off mister. Gibbs would kill me if I lost you.” Ms. Sciuto pointed to the bench. “I won’t be long. Pinky promise.” She gave him a quick hug and left. 

Leaning back on the bench, Tony lifted his face and closed his eyes in the sunshine.

“You Fed?” Tony jerked upright, hands flailing for the bag. A scruffy teenager, skateboard tucked under one arm, stood in front of him waving a small scrap of paper. When he nodded, the boy tossed him the paper. “Blond in the limo gave me ten bucks to give you this note.” 

Turning the paper over in his hands, he realized it was a gas receipt. Inside in tiny, scribbled handwriting was a note:

**_My own sweet boy._  
** **_I will have you soon.  
_** **_Blame Gibbs for me not being free to collect you.  
_** **_I hope you remember_**

Tony’s head snapped up, but the boy was gone, already more than a block away. He read the note again, his heart singing. She’d run out of room, there was no ending to the last sentence, or maybe that was the end. He knew her. She knew him. He grinned widely, wanting to jump up, dance around wildly and sing with happiness. Instead, he clenched the note, looked around with blurry eyes and saw no one watching him, nothing that wasn’t there before. Here. She was _here._ She was coming for him.

“Mistress.” He whispered softly.

“Did you say something Tony?” Abby came up behind him. ”Hey are you okay? Did something happen? Your face is squinched up all funny? Did someone say something mean to you? I mean we can call Gibbs right now. He’ll come and take care of it.”

“N… no ma’am.” He stuttered. “No one said anything mean to me.”

In the ensuing chaos of taking a dozen bags from her and running across the street to her car, Tony managed to stuff the note in his pocket and keep the joy from shining out of his eyes. She was coming! She hadn’t forgotten him!

 

~*~


	18. Chapter 18

~*~

Tony hunched over the small table, fingers dabbling in the water made by ice cold drinks left sitting in a sweltering hot room. At first he’d tried to keep an eye on Ms. Sciuto, but she’d bounced from partner to partner and he’d lost sight of her pigtails. He hadn’t wanted to come, but she’d given him no choice. ‘Tony always loved a good night of drinking and dancing’ she’d insisted and here he was. Not drinking and not dancing. She’d dressed him like a doll, spiking up his hair and adding a touch of eyeliner and glitter. 

His headache throbbed along with the heavy beat of the so-called music. It wasn’t his style, had never been his style and never would be his style. At least there wasn’t a strobe. That would surely cap of a surreal day. If Ms. Sciuto ever stopped dancing and came back to the table, he’d beg her to take him home. He’d gotten tired of the curious stares not long after they arrived.

Fingering the folded piece of paper in his pocket, he startled when two men appeared on either side of him. He looked up and froze like a deer in the headlights.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum weren’t dressed for a night of clubbing, at least not at this club. They wore all black, and when they drank it wasn’t the fruity frou-frou stuff served here. Short dark hair and scarred faces – one Tony recognized instantly – they stared back, giving him a moment to comprehend and lower his eyes obediently.

“Slave M14-3479882 aka Fed.” It wasn’t a question and Tony nodded once. For some reason he didn’t have any trouble hearing Tweedledee’s voice over the music. “You will come with us.” No expression, except perhaps a slight bit of boredom.

“Sir?” Tony managed to squeak. “I can’t… my Mistress…” He tore his eyes away and looked around for Ms. Sciuto. 

“You are recalled. You will come with us now, boy.” Tony shuddered, closing his eyes. That dark voice featured prominently in his nightmares. “Don’t make me say it twice.” Tweedledum. Hard hands that had once promised a single touch that he’d paid so dearly for.

“She’s not your Mistress, now is she boy?” He’d forgotten Tweedledee, lost in memories. 

Wait. Had his real Mistress sent them? Had she meant this when she wrote ‘soon’? Tony scrambled. Was she outside, waiting for him? 

“I should…” He looked around desperately for any sign of bouncing pigtails. 

Tweedledum grabbed his arm and opened his other hand to reveal a small, white remote. A very specialized remote Tony had seen only once before. He gulped and nodded frantically, pigtails forgotten. He didn’t need this lesson again.

As they fought through the crowd of dancers toward the doors, Tony thought he heard Ms. Sciuto screaming for him. Without thinking, he stopped and started to turn his head. A white-hot laser arrow of pain hit him right between the eyes. He would have fallen if not for the iron grip around his arm.  
“Go.” Tony went, stumbling slightly, but he went.

Through the crowd, past the bar, out the doors, down the steps and around to the side. An ominous black van was parked illegally at the curb. They’d almost reached it when Agent Gibbs stepped around the side, gun drawn.

“Get your hands off him.” Tony didn’t know what to do. It didn’t seem likely now that his Mistress was in the van, but why else would they come for him? Everyone stopped. “I said Get Your Hands OFF HIM.”

“This is none of your business.” Tweedledum’s voice was matter-of-fact, but his fingers tightened on Tony’s arm, digging in. 

“He belongs to me. Trying to steal him makes it very much my business.” He didn’t choke over the words at all. “Now take your hands off before I shoot you.”

“You are not the registered owner of this slave.” Tweedledee sounded unsure, glancing at Tweedledum.

“Neither are you. His Mistress signed him over to me this afternoon.” Agent Gibbs sounded so sure of himself. Had his real Mistress found him unworthy already? No, it had to be the Doc. Had to be. 

“You don’t understand—” Tweedledee tried again.

“What I _understand_ is that you’re trying to steal something that belongs to me. Theft might not rank up there with kidnapping, but you’ll be just as dead.” Gibbs offhand glare was something even Dum and Dee didn’t want to mess with.

“What’s his serial number then?” Tweedledum let go of Tony’s arm, but didn’t step away. “If you’re really his Master, you must know it.”

“Fed’s number is M14-3479882.” Agent Gibbs answered without missing a beat, slight smirk on his face. “Get over here boy.” 

Tony took a small step and when nothing happened, he hurried to Agent Gibbs’ side and knelt on the sidewalk. “Remote. Get … get the remote Agent Gibbs.” 

Tweedledee and Tweedledum exchanged glances, faces tight. Tony figured he’d see them again. Somehow he’d be blamed for this. 

“You heard him.” Agent Gibbs gestured with the gun. “Remote. Now.” Tony wilted under their glares, but didn’t look away until Tweedledum tossed the remote and Agent Gibbs snatched it out of the air. 

“Don’t bother coming back.” Agent Gibbs motioned them toward the van. “I’ll either arrest you or just shoot your dumb asses.” Agent Gibbs grinned, a tight feral grin that held no amusement. “Depends on what kind of day I’ve had. Now go.” 

The men exchanged another glance and Tweedledum nodded. Both men got in the van with a last look at Tony, ignoring Gibbs completely. Tony swallowed heavily. That look held promises, none of them good. 

They waited silently while the van started and drove off. Agent Gibbs didn’t lower his weapon until the taillights were out of sight. 

“Get up DiNozzo. You’re gonna get my truck dirty.” Agent Gibbs holstered his weapon and walked away. Tony scrambled to his feet and rushed after him. “Abbs put that crap on your eyes?” Tony looked up in surprise that Agent Gibbs could see the traces of eyeliner in the dark, but he merely nodded. “Wash it off when we get home. You look ridiculous.” Tony dropped his head, flushing slightly. Gibbs can’t own him. He just … can’t.

Ms. Sciuto was jumping up and down shouting “Yay Bossman!” over by the front door. Small groups of people were standing around muttering and holding up cellphones. Tony shook his head, he hadn’t noticed any of that.

Shaking off the shock, Tony caught up with Agent Gibbs and stepped in front of him, cutting him off.  


“Doc gave me… signed me over to you?” Tony’s voice didn’t break, it didn’t. “To _you?_ Sir?”

 

~*~


	19. Chapter 19

~*~  
____

_**“Doc gave me… signed me over to you?” Tony’s voice didn’t break, it didn’t. “To _you?_ Sir?” **_ “  
____

 

~*~

Gibbs shook his head tiredly. “Let’s go.” He was still running on adrenalin and needed to get DiNozzo out of here before someone called the cops. He started to walk off toward where he’d left the truck, one front tire mostly on the sidewalk, when he realized DiNozzo was standing where he left him. 

“Abs – don’t you think it’s time you headed on home?” Gibbs held up a hand to stop her from jumping him, watchimg DiNozzo out of the corner of his eye.

“No way, bossman! You were so bad-ass! Wait til you see the awesome pics I got with my new phone! I—“

“Later Abs. I need to get DiNozzo home.” 

“Oh no! No way Gibbs! I haven’t had my whole weekend with Tony yet! I still get him til sometime tomorrow. It’s not fair! McGee and Ducky got –” 

“Enough Abs. It _is_ tomorrow. DiNozzo’s had enough for one day. Look at him.” He gestured toward DiNozzo, staring forlornly at the ground, hands hanging limply by his sides. He hadn’t wanted to spring it on him like this. He’d planned on taking him down to the basement and explaining slowly. He hadn’t planned a midnight rescue at gunpoint at some bar either.

Flouncing around, Abby glared at DiNozzo as if it was his fault her evening was ruined. With a pout, she tilted her chin up and marched back inside without another word. Gibbs rubbed his eyes and walked back over to DiNozzo. A silent Abby was arguably worse than when she was talking in capital letters but never as bad as when the words came out in italics. He was too tired to deal with any of it tonight.

“Ya got a problem with that?” He stood close and spoke gruffly, ignoring the fact that at least ten minutes had passed since the original question. 

DiNozzo looked up at him, searching his face. His own expression looked resigned and not at all happy. Hell for all Gibbs knew, he wanted to belong to the traitorous Dr. Winters. Well tough shit. She’d had her chance and blew it to hell. Nobody fucked over his agents.

“No, Master.” DiNozzo answered without inflection and silently dropped to his knees as if saying the words cut his strings. Gibbs winced in sympathy when his knees hit the pavement with a dull thud. DiNozzo didn’t groan or grunt or wince, merely bowed his head submissively. “I belong to you.” Tony sighed, toneless voice barely heard. “And I will do whatever you tell me to. Willingly, without question.”

“Dammit to hell! DiNozzo!” Gibbs growled and pulled up on the kid’s arm. “Get the hell off the ground and get in the truck before the cops get here. I don’t wanna explain all this downtown. Or to the Director.” He had to jerk a couple times before he got DiNozzo up and moving toward the truck.

Once inside, he peeled out, bouncing off the sidewalk and after a violent U-turn, raced homeward. 

“For the record.” He said as they pulled in the driveway neither having said a word in the short drive. “She signed you over to Ducky. Apparently I’m the last person on earth to be trusted with a slave.” Gibbs snorted out a laugh. DiNozzo turned his head away from the window and blinked at him. “Only thing we’ll probably ever agree on.”

“Dr. Mallard owns me?” There wasn’t enough light to see his eyes, but Gibbs thought he heard some relief. “Sir?”

“Yep.” Gibbs opened the door and climbed out. “Get inside and go to bed. It’s late.”

“Where’s the Do – where’s Dr. Winter’s car?” 

“What?” Gibbs slammed the door and looked at DiNozzo as he jumped down and shut his own door. “Oh. Don’t know exactly. She flew to New York to pick up a kid. I think Fornell went with her.”

“She already has another rescued slave?” DiNozzo sounded stricken and Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck. “She left without even saying goodbye to … she just left?” The kid had his eyes clenched shut like he couldn’t take one more thing.

“Get in the house DiNozzo. I don’t want to talk about this in the middle of the driveway. In fact, let’s just wait until the morning to discuss anything. Ok?”

“Yes, Sir.” DiNozzo rubbed his temples and followed him into the dark house. 

Without another word Gibbs ran upstairs and slammed the bathroom door shut behind him. When he came out, DiNozzo was sitting patiently on the carpet beside the door. Gibbs nodded to him and went into his own room, lying on the bed without turning on a light.

He listened while DiNozzo took a short shower. Then there was silence. DiNozzo wasn’t that quiet so Gibbs waited a few more minutes until the silence drove him insane. Where’d the kid gone so quietly? Was he hiding in the bathroom again? The guest room was next to his and the bed squeaked enough he could hear when Dr. Winters turned over. Sliding out of bed, Gibbs crept to the door and pulled it open a bit more to peek out. 

DiNozzo lay curled up in a pool of light on the carpet outside his door, sound asleep.

“Oh for crying out loud.” Gibbs jerked the door open and poked DiNozzo with his foot. “Get your pillow and a blanket and get in here.” 

 

~*~

Bolting upright, Gibbs reached for the sig on the nightstand. A muted pounding noise had woken him, but everything was silent now. Looking over toward the door, he saw DiNozzo’s blanket was folded neatly. Glancing at the clock, he rubbed his face. 0530. Close enough. Time to get up and see what DiNozzo was up to.

A quick shower and then coffee. Maybe he could talk DiNozzo into making blueberry waffles again. Gibbs took his jeans from the chair and started emptying pockets. That funny remote was gone. Maybe it had fallen out in the truck. He’d forgotten to ask DiNozzo about that last night – figured it could wait until this morning along with the rest of it.

Whatever it was would wait until he had a cup of coffee, maybe two. DiNozzo wasn’t in the kitchen or living room or den – must be in the basement. He drank the first cup straight down and poured a second before heading to the basement. Grabbing a second cup for DiNozzo, he took the steps slowly.

DiNozzo was sitting on the floor staring at a small pile of plastic chips, a small sledge hammer beside him. He looked up briefly when he heard Gibbs and took the coffee with a muted thank you.

“Wanna tell me what that thing was?” Gibbs leaned against the boat where he could watch the kid’s face. “And why it’s in a million pieces?”

“It…” Tony shook his head and got to his feet, taking a sip before setting his cup on the workbench. He took a deep breath and forced his eyes up to meet Gibbs. “Sir. It’s… was a torture device. Meant to command obedience – _mine_ – I didn’t...” He looked around for the broom and began sweeping up the small pile. “Probably a tracker as well.”

“Why didn’t you get Duck to remove the chip?” The coffee was nearly gone but he didn’t want to interrupt this conversation. DiNozzo was actually talking. “Woulda saved us all some headache.”

“It’s not… they said … they injected it into my vein. Said it would end up in my brain and no one could ever get it out.” Tony found the dustpan and swept the bits into it before taking a sip of coffee. “I don’t believe that’s possible, it’s probably in my heart or something. Wherever it is, they used the remote last night and I can confirm it works. Anyway, Dr. Mallard can’t remove it. No one can.”

“Leave the pieces. We’ll get Abbs and McGee to take a look.” Gibbs nodded at the dustpan. “Might’ve been better to check it out while it was in one piece –”

“No! I… I couldn’t…” DiNozzo’s voice was hoarse with emotion. Gibbs looked up from the dustpan in surprise and frowned. The kid was terrified, still terrified. 

“Yeah. I get that.” He woulda smashed it too, then burnt the pieces. “Still. We need to know if it’s the only remote.”

DiNozzo’s head jerked up in surprise. “What? No.” He shook his head in denial. “No. I… No.”

Gibbs shrugged, waiting. 

“So I belong to Dr. Mallard now?” 

“Ducky…” Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck. DiNozzo was _his_ dammit, but he couldn’t help this broken man – this _person_ with DiNozzo’s face. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Duck is better equipped to help you. To … to put you back together.”

“I—” 

“He’s gonna take off a couple weeks, figure out what you need.” Gibbs spoke over DiNozzo. He didn’t want to hear about Fed any more. Duck would sort it out. Might take a while longer than they’d hoped, but Gibbs had faith in his ME.

“I’ll take you over there Monday morning.” Gibbs strode over to the steps eager for more coffee. “Meanwhile, I’ll see if Ziva’s free today. You haven’t had any time with her yet. Might as well get the whole team taken care of before you head over.”

“She doesn’t like me. Sir.” With a last look at the dustpan, he grabbed his coffee and started after him. “I’m not sure I’m safe with her.”

Gibbs stopped abruptly and turned on the steps. “If she lays a hand on you, I’ll have her back in Israel before she can spit!” He promised with a glare not meant for DiNozzo. “She knows better than to hurt you.”

DiNozzo nodded back to him with wide eyes, filled with disbelief.

“I chose you over her once before DiNozzo. Won’t hesitate to do it again.” And he wouldn’t. DiNozzo was the best agent he’d ever trained and come hell or high water, he’d have him back on his team again. 

“Yes Sir.” Tony said in a small voice. “Thank you, Sir.”

~*~


	20. Chapter 20

Tony folded himself carefully into Ziva’s mini cooper and huddled as close to the window as he could get. Neither of them wanted to do this and he couldn’t understand why Agent Gibbs was forcing the issue unless it was one last gesture against Dr. Winters.

Glancing over at her, he realized Ziva was looking him up and down with a slight smirk. “So, DiNozzo.” She turned the key with a savage twist and Tony grabbed on with both hands, but kept his eyes on her. “You are looking very fit and tan for having been missing for over a year and having gone through Black Circle training.” Her smirk twisted tighter. “I told Gibbs you would be all right.”

Tony pressed his lips together and refused to let her bait him. DiNozzo would have taken her head off. Fed… well Fed had to take it. She was a free woman even if she wasn’t his Mistress.

“Cat got your tongue?” She laughed at his expression. “I have had lots of time to work on idioms.” They swerved in front of a truck and turned right. “I have also learned Russian.” 

She turned to grin at him, ignoring the horns blaring around them. “While you were away lazing by the pool and having wild ape sex – something you bragged about all the time anyway. So you see…” With a quick frown she turned her attention back to the road and sped up to take the van that had just cut in front of them. “… unlike the others, I have no pity for you DiNozzo. I know you were enjoying yourself, to the top.”

Tony pressed his lips harder and ducked his head. He would not correct her. He would _not._

“You didn’t want DiNozzo to be found.” He stared out the window at the scenery flashing by. “Tell me Agent David, did you have anything to do with his… disappearance?” It was a long shot, but DiNozzo hadn’t been aware of someone stalking him, so… it made sense there was someone on the inside that had given them information.

“No!” Her eyes flashed at him in annoyance. “But, I knew your luck would run out sooner or later.”

“But you didn’t … you wouldn’t … you don’t want him to come back.” Tony studied her eyes. For Mossad, she was easy to read. 

“No.” She answered after a moment of silence. “I do not.” Her chin lifted and he nodded. Perhaps she would help him when his Mistress came for him. Gibbs was watching him closely and if these ‘visits’ continued after he was living at Dr. Ducky’s house they were his best chance to escape. She might even be able to handle Tweedledee and Tweedledum if they returned.

“So what’s the plan for today?” He pushed a bit of DiNozzo out there to keep her guessing. If she got a hint he was going to use her, she would do the opposite just to piss him off. “Ma’am.”

“Gibbs told you to obey me, yes? As if I were your Mistress?” The smirk was back and Tony tensed. Surely she wouldn’t….

“Yes ma’am.” Dropping his head, he peeked back up through his lashes. She wasn’t to be trusted.

She looked him up and down again, mostly ignoring traffic and pulled into her apartment building. “Good.” She nodded, satisfied. “I have piles of laundry and my rooms are very dusty. I’m sure we can find something for you to do.”

Tony breathed out a sigh of relief, not wanting her to get a hint of what he was afraid of. He was sure she’d realize that sooner or later. He didn’t want her to say anything to Dr. Ducky or Agent Gibbs in case they put a stop the visits. He needed to talk to his Mistress and get the hell out of D.C.

“And if you do a good job, I’ll buy you a sandwich when I pick up my dry cleaning.”

 

~*~

 

“Hold the table. I will only be a moment.” Ziva pointed imperiously and disappeared inside without a backward glance. Tony looked around nervously and finally sat down at the last empty table outside Au Bon Pain where he could watch her inside waiting impatiently in line to place their order. 

He’d finally managed to get her pig-sty of an apartment clean enough to suit her and this was his ‘reward’. Letting out a deep breath, he leaned back in the chair and looked around. 

“I’m here, Mistress. Find me.” He whispered a little forlornly and ignored the cake-covered child at the next table eyeing him balefully. “You have to find me because I can’t find you.” His eyes followed Ziva as she slowly made her way forward toward the counter. 

She would pet him and love him, spoil him rotten. She would rake long painted nails down his back when he made her scream. Nails he’d lovingly paint himself, sitting at her feet, adoring her. She would show him off at parties, dressing him in Armani and Louis Vuitton, and then undress him slowly with her own hands, lingering here and there with a kiss or a love-bite all the while drinking the best champagne. When she was naked, he would dribble some on her skin, and lick it off…

Another table erupted suddenly in chaos as everyone stood, grabbing purses and packages, promising phone calls and visits. Jerking awake from his daydream, Tony yelped as his chair was jostled and he grabbed the table with both hands. Ziva was too far away and not looking in his direction in any case. Some bodyguard she was.

She sat down across from him, calm and regal. Crossing one long leg over the other, head tilted to the side, her smile grew slowly until it warmed him and his fingers loosened.

“Do you recognize me, Fed?” Her voice was liquid gold, just like he remembered and her smile grew into something arch and secretive. She’d gone after Agent Gibbs and like every other female, couldn’t make it stick. He’d heard they’d remained friends. Maybe none of that was true at all.

“Mistress?” His whispered voice broke almost into a sob. She knew his name. He was right, his Mistress was beyond beautiful. 

“Yes Fed. You belong to me.” She smiled fondly at him, _at him_. “There’s a place waiting for you, sweet boy.”

Tony’s breath caught and his heart stuttered. He couldn’t speak to save his life. Her? How? When? Questions tumbled across his mind, but not a single word made it out of his slightly open mouth.

Her laughter broke the spell and he admired her long neck as she threw her head back. 

“You had no idea? Astounding.” Her face grew serious and she slid her hand into his, squeezing lightly.

“You’re the one? It was you all this time?” He breathed, unable to take his eyes from her face. “I… I don’t know what to say, Mistress.” He ducked his head shyly. “Why? When?”

“Gibbs said you were one of his best undercover agents, but I found it hard to believe.” She laughed again, louder this time, causing people to pause and stare.

“You were so nervous, practically terrified and yet you still wanted to impress Charlotte. Sulky and petulant and prickly all at once, spitting at me like a little wildcat… I found I wanted something for myself for the first time a long, long time. You can ask Gibbs how giddy I was and that’s not like me. Not at all. When she slapped you, I tingled all over. I wanted it to be me.” Leaning forward she trailed fingers down his cheek. “I wanted it to be my handprint on your face and that’s when I swore I would own you no matter how long it took.” 

Tony searched her eyes, looking for the truth and hoping to find something that would tell him she wanted him, she really wanted _him._ All he’d ever wanted was for someone to love him and never let him go. He wanted to be part of something, have someone he could count on to the very end. Someone who was his and he was theirs and nothing could come between them. 

Movies, old romantic movies had been his only teachers in that regard. DiNozzo’s parents had the marriage from hell and after his mother died, it had only gotten worse. He’d been happy to escape from the endless parade of stepmothers even if it was to a military boarding school. 

It sounded like that’s what she was offering, but he had to _know._

“You don’t know how hard it was to stop undressing you that day. When I slipped off your jacket, I wanted to keep going, feel your skin under my hands. Somehow, you made me feel something I hadn’t felt in years – something I never thought I’d feel again.” She paused and squeezed his wrist. “You’re mine, sweet boy.”

“Forever?” He whispered, helpless before her. “You won’t sell me or share me or…”

“No Fed. That’s never gonna happen. What’s mine is mine. I don’t share. I’ve never had a slave, never wanted one before I saw you. Then… well the rest is history as they say.” She smiled at him. “Consider yourself married with no chance of divorce.”

Closing his eyes at her touch, Tony opened his mouth but no words came, just a soft sigh that made her smile wider. She ran a fingertip across his lips and he dared to kiss it. “Who do you belong to Fed?” 

“You.” He whispered against the fingertip tugging his bottom lip down. “I belong to you, Mistress.” It was just like in a dozen movies he could name off the top of his head. Everything else faded away and they could have been alone for all he noticed. Until Ziva’s voice pierced his dream world.

Jerking his head toward the door, he couldn’t control the fear in his eyes when he looked back at … his Mistress. His eyes burned and he wanted to reach out and he wanted to kneel and he wanted to laugh and he wanted…

“Three a.m. Be kneeling on the corner by Gibbs’ house.” She nodded, slid out of the chair and took a couple steps. Looking over her shoulder with a wink she said. “Don’t be late, Fed. We need to be out of the country by dawn.” He swallowed thickly and watched her walk away, disappearing into the crowd.

“I do not understand why one cannot place a simple order without it being confused.” Ziva slammed the door open and made a rude gesture back inside. “It is like no one in this country speaks English!” 

Jumping up to help her carry drinks and bags to the table, Tony looked around but she – _his Mistress_ – was gone.

Ziva dumped her share on the table, collapsing into the chair. “I hope you are hungry, Tony.” She complained loudly. “I went through a lot of effort to get this meal.”

“Yes ma’am. Thank you ma’am.” Tony unwrapped his sandwich and ate without tasting a bite, eyes constantly scanning the passers-by. 

~*~


	21. Chapter 21

~*~

 

When Ziva dropped him off, Tony sat on the front step for a long time before going in. There was no question of go/not go, just how he was leaving. Did he say goodbye? Did he thank Dr. Ducky for his kindness? Or did he just slip out in the middle of the night.

Of course if he did that, Gibbs would suspect Tweedledee and Tweedledum and hunt them and him down. He hadn’t made anyone understand he was happy now and probably never would. Still, he guessed he owed them the courtesy of a goodbye even if they didn’t realize it was goodbye until later. 

Leaning back against the door, he tipped his head back and watched the stars come out. Tomorrow night he’d be looking at different stars. Well, he smiled to himself, the same stars but from a different position. Somehow he had to wipe the happiness out of his eyes and pretend nothing had changed. 

When it was completely dark, Tony gave up and went inside. Of course Gibbs was in the basement. He’d send Dr. Ducky an email later. First he had to tackle Gibbs and say whatever he needed to say since this would most likely be the last time he ever saw him.

Squaring his shoulders, Tony opened the basement door and sat on the third step from the bottom. “Sir.”

“Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been down here, working on the boat and thought I imagined you sitting right there on that step.” Gibbs rubbed his forearm across his brow, the other hand moving the sandpaper confidently.

“DiNozzo felt safe here, even welcome sometimes.” Tony said after a long while, eyes following Gibbs’ hands. “Sometimes…sometimes he would come and sit here just to remember what a home felt like.” Leaning back against the step, Tony put his palms on the step he was sitting on and let his thumbs trace the smooth wood. “He was never good enough.” Closing his eyes he ignored Agent Gibbs wordless grunt. 

“Not for his father, not for several military academies, not for Ohio State or the Pros. Not for Peoria, Philly or Baltimore.” Sitting up straight he gave the older man a small smile. “Good thing you came along and rescued him from Baltimore… they were about done with him anyway.”

“Rule 5.” Gibbs said softly watching Tony closely.

“Don’t waste good.” Tony answered automatically and smiled at Gibbs confusion. “I have all his memories, Agent Gibbs.”

“You were always good enough for me.” Gibbs growled. “I—”

“No.” Tony crossed his arms across his chest and leaned forward. “But I don’t want to talk about that now.”

Gibbs nodded and dared a quick glance up at him. Dropping his eyes back to the sanding, Tony stilled. 

“You were always welcome here DiNozzo. “ Gibbs huffed a laugh and Tony found it easy not to crack a smile. “Even if I was being a bastard. Thought of you as one of my own.” 

Tony dropped his eyes to his own hands, clasped together and hanging between his knees.

“I guess I just don’t understand.” Gibbs leaned in to check the smoothness of the spot he was working on, then moved slightly to the right. “I don’t understand is why you’re acting like this.” Unable to control his temper, the older man dropped the sandpaper on the workbench and turned on him. 

Forcing himself not to flinch, Tony’s eyes darted around the room and then settled on his own hands again. “I’m—” 

“Don’t you dare say it! You were always eager to please, even the occasional head slap didn’t faze you, but that does NOT make you a slave!” Gibbs blew out a frustrated breath and threw his hands up in the air. “What’s so terrible about Tony DiNozzo that you don’t want to be him?”

“You said DiNozzo was a … a… fuckup.” Tony took a deep breath and for once the words didn’t hurt as much as they used to. Hmmm maybe Gibbs’ opinion didn’t mean as much anymore. “You said…” Tony held his hand up when Gibbs opened his mouth to shout. “You said.” Tony enunciated it strongly. “And we all know the famous Jethro Gibbs is never wrong…. I should grow up.” He smiled grimly and held out both hands, palm up in supplication. “Well Gibbs, this is me. All grown up. No more masks, no more games.”

“Like hell.” Gibbs grabbed the bottle of bourbon and poured the empty nail glass full, downing it in one long drink. Before slamming the glass back down on the workbench. “This is you in the middle of Stockholm syndrome or some such garbage.”

“Is that what Doctor Winters told you?” Tony bit his lip to keep from smiling. “No, Agent Gibbs. I’m not Tony DiNozzo because that guy never existed.”

“Yeah?” Gibbs huffed and reached for the bottle. “Who the hell was that working for me for ten years? Was my Senior Agent some kind of ghost?”

Tony looked around the basement and then at Gibb’s belligerent stare. “Yeah, something like that. DiNozzo was made up of many, many masks and personas. Put together over time to survive.”

“Stockholm syndrome.” Gibbs insisted stubbornly, hands on hips, eyes narrowed.

“For who? To who?” A touch of temper in his voice and Tony ducked his head for a moment. “To the extraction team that took me?” He asked once he could be sure to keep his voice calm. “To the trainers who exposed the lie and showed me the truth?” He looked at Gibbs and frowned when he flinched. “To the people he sold me to? To the buyer I never met?”

Gibbs closed his eyes to clear his thoughts. “This will be all straightened out soon – you’ll be back to your old self, on my team where you belong.” 

Tony shook his head and let out a weary sigh. “Agent Gibbs, Sir.” He didn’t look up didn’t want the see the annoyance in the older man’s eyes. “I’m never going to be back to _my old self_ as you put it. I’m _**broken.**_ Why can’t you understand? Too many pieces were lost along the way.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Too many tears, too many heartaches. I can’t…” Taking a deep breath that was almost a sob, Tony leaned away from Gibb’s outstretched hand. “… even the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs can’t put Humpty Dumpty DiNozzo back together again.” He chuckled wryly and finally lifted his head to look at DiNozzo’s old boss – _Boss._ There was a stark misery in his eyes, but also a fierce determination. Agent Gibbs hated losing – but this time… this time he’d picked the wrong horse. He pressed his lips together to withstand the wave of sadness that threatened to engulf him. 

“They took the shattered pieces of DiNozzo and put them back together as Fed. I’m sorry.” It was barely a whisper, but he twisted his lips, mouth barely open. “You gave up on him before he was taken. That’s what I know.”

Tony waited silently, eyes on Gibbs’ face until it was clear the older man wasn’t going to speak. “Let me tell you about my first master, Agent Gibbs and you be the judge of whether this is Stockholm syndrome or not.” Gathering himself together, Tony wrapped both arms around his knees and hugged himself tightly, while Gibbs perched one hip on the workbench. “I told Dr. Winters he had a pair of sixteen year olds in his bed and didn’t want me like … like that.”

Tony sat on the bottom step listening for Gibbs to grunt in acknowledgement before starting his story.

“Garrison Ford’s grandfather made his money in oil and he dedicated his life to the thought that more was never enough. He’s a lot like Senior in that regard.” Tony stared into the distance, remembering. 

“He demanded quiet in the mornings. I wasn’t allowed to speak until lunch was served.” Taking a couple deep breaths, Tony forced his eyes on Gibbs and blinked at the anger apparent in his clenched jaw. “By the time I was out of training, not talking wasn’t a problem anymore.”

Dropping his forehead on his knees because he couldn’t look Gibbs in the eyes, Tony went on. He spoke quietly, even so his voice echoed in the silence. “I woke him up precisely at seven each morning. Prepared his bath, wash… washed him with almond scented bath soap, but no amount of scrubbing removed the oil from under his fingernails. Dried him off and dressed him in the clothes he’d set out earlier. Then I made tea—he liked it steeped, never a teabag. The newspaper had to be separated in sections and laid in order on a precise spot on the table. I knelt at his feet while he ate. After breakfast, he would disappear into his study to make calls and work for a few hours.” Tony tried to wipe his eyes on his knees and from the quick intake of breath, knew Gibbs had seen. “While he was working I was required to eat, shower, shave and generally prepare myself for him… in case he wanted to… when…” Tony gulped. “I did my best to please him, but I could have been anyone.” Tony gave a mirthless laugh. “He never saw _me,_ just – "

“I get it.” Gibbs said quietly. “You don’t have to say it. I’m sorry Tony. You don’t know how sorry… how hard we…” Gibbs broke off when Tony gave him a hard stare. 

“He wasn’t gentle. Or kind or fun. Not like… ” 

“You don’t have to tell me this, Tony.” Gibbs rubbed his own eyes, imagining the worst while planning a slow death for one _Garrison Ford_.

“The very first night.” His voice hitched and he swallowed the sob trying to break free with just the memory of that night. Gibbs leaned in to hear him. “He chained me to the wall in his ‘special playroom’ …” Tony made quote marks with both hands. “… and then he spent an hour showing me each implement in his collection and what it would do to my skin. He… he fondled this one metal-tipped whip.” Pausing for a breath, Tony dropped his head lower, curling in on himself. “And then he whipped me—took the skin off my back. The scars have faded, but I’ll never forget what it felt like. I hadn’t done anything wrong. He knew that, he… he said after, when he was smearing antibiotic cream over the welts and trying to console me in his own way… he said he always whipped a new slave until they couldn’t stand. That way, they knew what was coming if they screwed up.” Snorting a bitter chuckle, Tony glanced up at Gibbs. “I don’t think very many screwed up. I know I didn’t.”

“Son-of-a-bitch!” Gibbs growled. “I’ll gut the bastard.” 

“Please do.” Tony gave him a faint smile. “Anyway… there’s no reason I would have Stockholm syndrome.” Starting to get to his feet, Tony paused when Gibbs spoke.

“What about the bastard who started the whole thing?” Tony blinked at Gibbs’ clenched fists in surprise. “The son-of-a-bitch who paid for the whole kidnapping and training. You know anything about him? His name?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Tony got to his feet and took a few steps up. “DiNozzo was always, always your faithful Saint Bernard. On your six 24/7.” With a grim chuckle he went on. “And just like a dog he kept coming back every time you kicked him to the curb.” Tony looked up, his face carefully blank. “Only this time he won’t be coming back.” He closed the basement door gently behind him and went to take a shower. His heart was beating so loud he didn’t understand why Gibbs couldn’t hear it. Wouldn’t be long now. 

 

~*~ 

 

He’d sent Dr. Ducky an email to thank him for his kindness and not to blame himself when they realized he was gone. To tell the others thank you and he’d never forget them. Dressed in the cutoffs – his only real belongings, Tony ghosted through the silent house, taking a last look around. He wasn’t afraid anymore, would probably miss some of them, but not enough to hang around to try and fail to please them over and over. They cared for him in their own way - he could admit it now, but it wasn’t close to the ‘happily ever after’ dream his Mistress was offering. He wanted to be wanted and loved, to be treasured and be able to return those feelings, but he wouldn’t get that here. 

Time was suddenly rushing forward, somehow keeping beat with his pounding heart. Pausing on the doorstep, one hand on the doorknob, he sighed at the rain coming down in sheets. With one last whispered goodbye, Tony pulled the door shut firmly behind him and started walking toward the corner.

~*~

 

All that’s left now is the Epilogue


	22. Epilogue

Holly Snow woke slowly, drowsy and sated. Raking long nails across the silk sheets in search of her pet, she frowned when she didn’t find him. Rolling over to open her eyes, she saw his silhouette in front of one of the tall windows, slouching against the bare frame. Moonlight caressed him, bathing his skin in magic. Fingers itched to touch him again just to prove he was finally hers. 

Not bothering with a robe, she went to join him. “Couldn’t sleep?” Stroking one hand up his back, she let it rest on the back of his neck, fingers stroking slowly. He wore nothing but her collar. She’d had it specially designed for him months ago, thick chains of gold and copper twisted together that made his skin gleam. “It’s beautiful.” His breath caught as she tugged on it lightly.

“No. ma’am.” He murmured and went to his knees. “It’s you who makes Paris beautiful.” He turned his face away from the window and pressed it into her stomach.

“But especially beautiful in the moonlight.” She insisted, stroking his hair.

“So are you, Mistress.” He kissed her bellybutton and smiled at her giggle.

“Are you happy Fed?” 

“Of course, Mistress.” He sounded concerned. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Hmmm.” She shrugged. “No reason. Come back to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

He got up quickly and followed her to the opulent bed, letting her get settled before spooning up behind her. 

They were registered under false names. Gibbs had no idea where DiNozzo had disappeared to and never would, but that was no reason to take chances. She knew Gibbs would never give up searching for Tony and she would take every precaution to make sure he never found him.

In a few weeks they’d drive to Italy. She had a nice little villa tucked away in the hills. With a couple servants and Fed – what more could she ask for. She had lots of plans for her new pet.

“Do you speak Italian, pet?” 

"Sì signora." Fed murmured against her hair. “Io sono tuo. Tu sei mia.”

“Will you do anything for me pet?” She wiggled back against him. 

“Anything Mistress.” He whispered into her hair. “Anything you ask.”

Holly smiled into the darkness. Life was about to get interesting, very interesting.

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who hung on to the very end. Some days I wondered why on earth I thought a remix would be a good idea. In lots of ways I like this one better. It would be nice for everyone to get a happy every after, but that doesn't happen much in real life. I expect if this happened in real life Tony would be dead or locked in a rubber room in a long term rehab facility. I gave Tony what he wanted and make no mistake, he was very clear about that. 
> 
> Thanks again for all the lovely comments and kudos. I appreciate each and every one. 
> 
> I think this is the end of Slave Tony, though I won't promise - damn bunnies are everywhere!
> 
>  
> 
> Translation: Io sono tuo. Tu sei mia = I am yours. You are mine.
> 
> Holly Snow, the DC Madam was played by Dina Meyer. Aired April 6, 2010 Season 7 ep 19 Guilty Pleasures. She was also in ep Jet Lag.


End file.
